How many people do you encounter on a daily basis who seemingly ooze negativity? They find a problem for every solution. They make mountains out of molehills. They play the role of devil's advocate or contrarian any chance they get.  Negative and dramatic people are a drain on our mental and emotional resources. They thrive on theatrics and do nothing but try to drag us down with them. Misery surely loves company, and they'll stop at nothing until you're down in the dumps with them.  They say you can't change the people around you. But if you think about it, you can in fact  change (as in replace or eliminate) the people who surround you.  It's time to free yourself from the grips of toxic, self-esteem-shattering, soul-destroying individuals! A primary reason why so many of us have a hard time distancing ourselves from negative folks is because we've known them for a long time and have invested so much time and energy into the relationship that we'll do vir...

Are you constantly worrying over where your partner is at 10 p.m. at night? Does he or she continue to grapple with drug or alcohol problems despite the fact they've pledged time and time again to quit and seek treatment? Have they done something to suggest they're not capable of being trusted, like cheating on or stealing from you? Do they constantly pick fights for no apparent reason? If this sounds like your relationship -- one with the flair for the dramatic -- then something isn't right. A romantic relationship shouldn't keep you on edge all of the time. You should not have to fear your partner's next move given their penchant for chaos and unpredictability. Now, no one's perfect, of course. We all make mistakes. We all let the other person down from time to time. But it certainly should not be an everyday occurrence. In fact, a partner is the one we often go to for comfort; they, of all people, bring a sense of stability to our lives (at...

Relationships are diminished when partners get into the habit of making assumptions. People say facetiously that when you assume, you "make an ass out of you and me." Rather than make assumptions, people should: Find the courage to ask questions, even tough ones. Openly express their needs, wants, and feelings. Communicate as clearly as possible so as to avoid drama and bickering.  Resist the urge to pretend to know what the other individual is thinking.  Making assumptions falls into the same category as playing games.  If you don't know how your partner feels on a given issue, just ask. If asking doesn't yield answers, then there are definite communication problems that need addressing.  In a healthy relationship, partners are glad to bounce ideas off one another and work together to arrive at solutions to problems in the relationship.  Without a strong system of communication in place, partners may potentially distrust one another, ...

Don't let people bog you down with their drama and negativity. See, that's precisely what they crave: For them to be the ones responsible for turning your good mood into a sour one. It empowers them to continue trying to push our buttons until we become disappointed, effectively ruining our day (or so they hope). And toxic people aren't always overtly toxic from the get-go. They may endear themselves to us in the beginning, forming the impression that they're one of the nicest people we have ever met. But once the opportunity strikes, they flip a switch and allow their true, manipulative colors to come out. As I've noted in prior posts, when people are unhappy with their lives, they attempt to make themselves feel better by trying to make miserable the lives of ostensibly happy individuals. Whether they're in the process of getting divorced, having problems with their boss, or in serious financial straits, they take everything out on the people a...

Have you ever had a friend or partner who's made you feel replaceable? In other words, the other person may have a slew of friends or several people vying for their romantic affections, making you feel as though you're just a number on their list. This doesn't make us feel special or appreciated, no matter how many times -- and how emphatically -- they may claim to value us. We might crave more intimacy with this individual, but their tendency to hop from one person to another may create an emotional void. You might feel far more invested and committed because you have a smaller circle of people in your life. Perhaps you've done this deliberately in an effort to cut down on the drama and prioritize quality over quantity. It's saddening when people take us for granted because they know they have other options. Perhaps you've suggested a relaxing evening at home dining over a good movie, but someone else has suggested plans more to their liking. Ma...

One thing is for people to blather on about the drama in their lives. Another is for them to try to whip up drama in ours. The latter is wholly unacceptable, and we should never stand for that. Whether it's a coworker who tries to turn you against someone at work who doesn't rub her the right way, someone you've begun dating who hasn't quite broken up with their ex, or a friend who tries to rope you into gambling or taking drugs, you should never take the bait. Never allow yourself to get wrapped up in other people's problems. While you certainly can lend a hand, their worries should not become your own. They have to resolve such matters themselves and leave you out of it -- otherwise, you may find yourself shouldering a heavy burden. Many people who find themselves down on their luck are so selfish as to try to bring others down with them, especially if the latter seem to be doing pretty well for themselves. Misery loves company, to be sure. In the worst ...

Sometimes we need to extricate ourselves -- even if temporarily -- from others' drama and negativity. We need to wriggle free of adversity we may be confronting at work, home, or elsewhere. Our well-being depends on it! So how exactly can we do this? It depends on whatever it is you like -- whatever it is that drives you. Perhaps nothing spells relaxation like losing yourself in a good book during your lunch break before heading back to your desk. Maybe you recharge by taking a leisurely stroll in the park after work. You may notice that you haven't taken a vacation in almost a year and yearn to get away from it all -- whether that means sunbathing in the Caribbean, skiing in the Alps, or exploring historic attractions in Washington, D.C. Or maybe a spa weekend that includes a rejuvenating massage or stress-melting sauna session is just what the doctor ordered. No one says that relaxing has to carry a big price tag. For some people, putting the phone down and ...

Going back to my youth, there's one thing about me that has never once wavered: my affinity for deep relationships.  Perhaps this explains why (1) I've kept a small circle of close friends my whole life, and (2) I've always sought serious commitments with girls, as opposed to men who sleep around for a few years before settling down. It goes to show you that for me, it's always been about quality, not quantity. I think having fewer people around minimizes the drama in one's life. The more people you know, the more social pressure you get to conform to others' views and agree with their opinions. I make no effort to maintain superficial relationships in my life. Those people won't be there when I need them, so why even have them as a "friend" on Facebook?  Life isn't a popularity contest. Our high school days are long gone. I have never had any patience for games. I know that makes me come across as a stiff, but I've alw...

Gossiping always comes back to bite you in the rear end, which is why you should avoid it at all costs. Either the person who you're gossiping about uncovers your treachery, or the ones you're gossiping with stab you in the back by telling the individual it's you doing the dirty work behind the scenes. Even if your target is so vile as to deserve what you're doing to her, you don't want to get involved. You never really know who you can trust, which is why you should maintain a neutral position at all times. You can rest assured that you'll be pressured to join in on the bashing. It's at that point that you should politely decline. This is how it works: People have a herd mentality. If you're not with them in talking smack about Betty behind her back, surely you must be against them, making you a threat. What you have to do is say -- nicely but firmly -- that you don't want to take sides. You want to keep it professional at all times. But the...

Really? Is this what the world's come to? Sources say that TIME Magazine is asking readers whether Kim Kardashian or Caitlyn Jenner should be chosen as the publication's person of the year. Among the other names being floated around are Republican presidential candidates Ben Carson and Donald Trump, technology gurus Tim Cook and Mark Zuckerberg, and actresses Jennifer Lawrence and Viola Davis. That a respected magazine like TIME would even consider Kardashian and Jenner for the coveted issue is beyond comprehension. What have these people done to be deemed worthy of the honor? All Kim is known for is stirring up family drama and getting naked. In Jenner's case, the former Olympic champion revealed to the world her sex change, which garnered extensive media coverage earlier in the year. Why doesn't TIME feature those who are truly deserving, like one of our brave men or women in uniform, someone who devotes his life to helping charities, and so on? Instead, we'...

I know this is another one of those things I write about that is largely subjective. However, you'd be surprised at the number of women I've met who've admitted to preferring men to women when it comes to friendships. These women say that they prefer making friends with men because guys are more rational and far less dramatic. Women like to fuss over the smallest details, they say, while men are simpler and easier to please. Below are some observations I've made, and I want to preface this by saying that they are general observations. I know all men and women are different. It's true that women generally gossip more than men. I've especially found this to be the case in the workplace.  Women get more easily excited or worked up over things that most men might find to be trivial (e.g. who is attending the holiday party, the hideous shirt that someone in Accounting wore yesterday, something that a neighbor's friend bought recently, etc.)  Women tend t...

Whether it's your mother-in-law, coworker, or neighbor, we each know someone who can't help but be a little nosy. The phrase "mind your own business" seems to have been invented specifically for these folks. They like drama, dirt, the juicy stuff. Though all of us can be nosy at times, some people take his to a whole new level. My biggest pet peeve is when people ask me questions of a personal nature but then fail to disclose anything personal about themselves. If you feel someone is being a bit too intrusive, tell him straight out that it's making you feel uncomfortable. If you'd rather not answer questions being thrown your way, feel free to dodge them and change the subject. People will get the point. I sometimes feel as though some people don't have anything exciting going on in their lives, and so they proceed to probe into other people's business. It's best you stand firm and put a stop to it early on -- or else they'll think you...