How to Read People

The texts become less and less frequent.  Plans feel as though they're never set in stone (if they don't fall through altogether).  The tone mood changes from joyful to tenuous.   When someone starts pulling away, the shift is usually subtle at first, but gets more noticeable over time. What makes it so unsettling isn’t always the distance itself, but the confusion.  You start replaying conversations in your head, wondering what changed, and feeling the urge to fix it before it slips further away. But nailing down what exactly ought to be fixed becomes a challenge in itself. Before long, you're blaming yourself, wondering if you did something to cause this palpable distance.  Pulling back typically means one of a few things.  Sometimes it’s about the other person’s discomfort with closeness. As intimacy builds, vulnerability increases — and not everyone is good at regulating that. For some, especially those with more avoidant tendencies because of pas...

The best way to get back at someone is not by inflicting harm on them -- whether physical, mental, or emotional pain. It's not by wishing that something bad were to happen to them. It's not by stealing from, cheating on, lying to, or publicly embarrassing them. All of these methods are cold, calculated, utterly pointless and, quite frankly, callow. Two wrongs don't make a right. By seeking retribution, you stoop to the other person's level. The best way to get back at someone is by demonstrating to them that your life is richer and more fulfilling without them in it.  In other words, you show that making the most of your life -- by indulging your hobbies and spending time with people you love -- doesn't have to involve him or her. Whether the person dumped you, cheated on you, stabbed you in the back, or did something else to betray your trust, rest assured that someday, somebody will do the same to them. It is then they'll realize how you must h...