Without even realizing it, some people get into the hard-to-shake habit of always trying to find something to nitpick about their lives. They could have the kind of life others can only dream of -- a bank account flush with cash, a loving spouse, sterling health, wonderful kids, a capacious house, an enviable career. But it's just never enough. They need the latest iPhone. They feel compelled to whip up drama in their relationship once they go too long without having an argument with their partner. They grow bored of every job after six months, despite the fact they're paid handsomely and have nothing to complain about in the workplace. These hard-to-please individuals will be perpetually dissatisfied until the day they realize that life isn't about having the most or best of everything, but about making the most of what one has.  That's not to say that one can't strive to achieve goals and better their station in life. After all, whether we wish to lau...

It's time to let go of the past and embrace all that awaits you. You can't start the next chapter of your life if you persist in reading the last one. Take the lessons you learned with you, yes, but don't allow your past to prevent you from soaring to new heights. Think of life as a game of football. The clock is ticking. You don't have time focus on the mistakes you made in the second quarter that cost you the lead. So long as you believe in yourself -- and mentally remain in the present moment -- you can persevere. Don't let painful reminders of yesterday get in the way of creating precious memories for tomorrow. Take a deep breath, relax, and tell yourself that you deserve to be happy! Whether your past includes a divorce, a failed business venture, or a series of mistakes you're having trouble shaking off, redirect your thoughts toward the present. While you can't change the past, your present is really what you make of it. Want to fi...

A few days ago, I came across a picture on Facebook that had the following caption: "We buy stuff we don't need -- with money we don't have -- to impress people we don't like." Perhaps you can name a few people in your life -- whether at work or at the gym -- who do precisely that. Maybe that person has been you from time to time. The sad reality is that people often become so hung up on the things they perceive as missing in their lives that they lose sight of everything they already have. In many cases, this results from direct comparisons to people in their circle, thus igniting the urge to "Keep up with the Joneses." As I've said before, there's nothing wrong with indulging yourself every so often. Eat at that fancy restaurant you've been wanting to try. Buy yourself that expensive pair of shoes you say online. You work hard for your money; if you have the means, why not? I take issue, however, with people who have to have the...

The human brain is our most powerful organ, yet it is also among the least understood. This is precisely what drove me to create a blog that centers on how we can better understand human behavior. A sharp mind can make the difference between a good memory and a foggy one, not to mention the mind exerts a powerful influence on our mood, self-esteem, and overall outlook on life. Below I've compiled 23 fascinating research-backed facts about the human mind that I hope you'll find as intriguing as I do: 1. The mind is often defined as a system of one's mental processes or psychic abilities. 2. Philosophers have used a broad array of metaphors to describe this complex organ, including a television switchboard, a blank sheet, or a hydraulic device with disparate forces operating in it. 3. Attempts to grasp the inner workings of the mind stretch back at least to the ancient Greeks. For one, Leibniz and Descartes believed the mind acquired knowledge via reasoning and th...

Life is inevitably short. That's why we should aim to derive as much happiness from it as we can! Hug a little tighter. Smile a little longer. Enjoy that cup of coffee to the last drop. Delight your palate with delectable foods. Let the warm sunshine melt your worries away. Allow the cool breeze to lull you to sleep.  Take pleasure in the simple things in life. Don't get caught up in the acquisition of material goods. The sheer elation of owning a new product is only ephemeral.  Instead, focus on experiences. Whether it's traveling to Poland or enjoying a relaxing jaunt or picnic with your partner at the park across the street, experiences at least leave us with deep, abiding memories. Quit telling yourself that you'll do these things sometime in the future. Stop putting off for tomorrow what you can be doing today.  There comes a point where we need a change of pace or scenery -- a break from the daily humdrum. It's not merely a matter of getti...

Many people strive to amass as many friends as they possibly can. In my view, though, you only need two or three really good friends to feel fulfilled in life. There's a marked difference between having a deep friendship with someone you trust entirely, and having more of a superficial relationship, where you might converse with each other once in a blue moon on Facebook or at a special occasion. To me, building friendships isn't a numbers game. It's the quality, not the quantity, that truly counts. In fact, I only have three real friends, all of whom I made groomsmen at my wedding. I've known one of them since kindergarten, the other since high school, and the third guy since my first semester of college. While I may not be able to see or talk to them as often as I'd like, I know these guys are there for me when I need them -- just as I am for them. We have our occasional spats and differences of opinion, but the friendships are strong enough to survive a...

Want to be happier? The   less you attach your happiness to people or material things, the happier you'll be. Why? Because material things come and go, as do people. They're transitory.  What brings us true joy are experiences, which can create lasting memories. While things may have ended badly with your ex-boyfriend, there's no harm in conceding that you cherished -- perhaps to this day -- the times you spent with him, even if you don't want him back in your life. Or, you may reminisce about the trip you and your friends took to Cancun while you were in college, even though time and distance have caused something of a rift in your friendship. See what I mean? Focus on the experience and how it enriched your life, not on the person. Relationships evolve just like the people in them. Depending on someone else to be happy sets one up for disappointment in the event that person does a one-eighty, which most of us have experienced at some poin...

If you're like me, there are at least a handful of songs and/or movies that hold a special place in your heart. We associate certain songs and movies with fond moments and times in our lives. Examples may include: The first movie you saw with an ex or your current partner A song that was played at your high school prom A song that you'd sing with your friends at summer camp Songs or movies that came out while you were in college, presumably a relaxed and carefree epoch in your life A song or movie that came out during other defining periods in your life, e.g., while you were serving in the war or traveling around the country. Songs and movies can take us back in time. Perhaps you've noted that a certain song or movie first came out before you had kids, converted to Judaism, began working for your current employer, or bought your two-story house. Indeed, some songs and movies lead us to compare an older version of ourselves (when they were first released) to ...

I took a trip to Walt Disney World with my wife in December. While we certainly had fun seeing shows and going on rides -- and the fact the parks were decorated for Christmas added to the excitement -- I did complain about certain things. We got heavy traffic on the way there and coming back. The parks were so crowded that we felt like sardines packed in a tin. And despite getting Fast Passes, the wait times for many of the rides were longer than expected. It's been over two months since the trip, and I find myself fondly reminiscing about it. Isn't it funny how we tend to reflect on things through rose-colored glasses? It's as if the mind shuts out the negative bits (e.g., traffic and heavy crowds) and focuses only on the positive aspects (e.g., rides, fireworks, and Mickey Mouse). I suppose it's our way of trying to see the glass as half full. Generally, we make a conscious effort to block out all negative thoughts, feelings, and experiences that may in turn l...

Today's quote comes from Dr. Seuss of all people: "Sometimes you will never know the value of something until it becomes a memory." - Dr. Seuss I couldn't agree more with this quote. I'm sure most of us would concur that our youth is the perfect example of something we tend not to appreciate until later, when we can no longer relive those years. I often think about how zealous I was to graduate from college and go out into the real world. While there's a lot to be said about attaining financial security as a working professional, I don't see myself ever being able to recapture the magic of my college years. It's really a unique, transformative time in one's life -- your first taste of freedom, the first time in your life where you actually feel like and are regarded as an adult. I feel my years before college were largely forgettable, and life in corporate America (post-college) is essentially like reverting back to high school, where o...

Obviously, we live in all of these at different moments. Whether we're past-, present, or future-oriented depends largely on how we're feeling at a given point in time. For example, when something good happens, we tend to become very focused on the present and on the fruits that the favorable circumstance will bear in the future. If we're feeling a little blue about our current prospects, we may start thinking back to a time when things were going more smoothly in our lives. The more optimistic among us, however, might look forward to brighter days ahead. Many people say harping on the past isn't healthy, and I agree -- a line has to be drawn somewhere. But only by considering history -- our prior successes and failures, our earlier ups and downs -- can we can guide our behavior toward the ends we seek in the present and future. In other words, you need to examine the past in order to build on your triumphs and prevent making the same mistake twice (or more time...

Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, once said that the best way to predict your future is to create it. Eleanor Roosevelt, first lady to President Franklin D. Roosevelt, stated that the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. Still another great quote -- and I believe this one was dreamed up anonymously -- is that we ought to strive to do something today that our future self will thank us for. I know I sometimes have a tendency to harp on here about the past. (After all, I do love history!) And while reminiscing at times is good and healthful, we mustn't spend too much time ruminating over past events. I think doing so gets in the way of our growth -- whether personal or professional. Sometimes we might get so caught up reliving the past that we forget to live in the present. While memories of yesterday might be special, memories created tomorrow might prove even more profound. Thinking too much about the past prevents us from mo...

In keeping with this week's central theme of remembering the past, I thought it'd be fun for us to share stories about our first kiss and/or crush. I'm sure most of us remember the first person we kissed or took a romantic interest in. If you think about it, a first kiss is a milestone moment in one's life, and one's first "relationship" in childhood signals a yearning to connect -- for the very first time -- with someone of the opposite sex on a more intimate level than you would your friends. The first girl I kissed was a girl named Doris whom I sat next to in Kindergarten class. The funniest part? It happened during a game of Truth or Dare. Yes, even kids that age were playing that. (I can't imagine the things they might be doing in 2015!) I met my first crush, Helene, in the third grade. She claimed to be interested in me, and it showed. I spent my days either looking at or thinking about her. But I couldn't work up the nerve to ask her t...

We know that trust and communication are essential to any relationship; I've elaborated on that in prior posts. But here's an oft-overlooked element on which relationships also depend for survival, and one I studied in depth in most of my psychology classes: proximity . Dictionary.com defines proximity as "nearness in place, time, order, occurrence, or relation." Have you noticed that the people you're often closest to at work or school are those who sit near you? Or that your closest friends are usually the ones who still live in the same city as you do? This should come as no surprise to us. Proximity is like a special glue that holds the relationship together. The closer we are to other people, the more likely it is for us to bond with them. Once someone in the relationship moves -- whether to a different cubicle at work or to a different home or city altogether -- the relationship tends to suffer. Once you create distance between yourself and someo...

History is my second favorite subject to read and learn about (after psychology). While I love to delve into such topics as the Founding Fathers and Civil War, I also like looking back on key events and milestones in my own life -- my "life's history," if you will. I think it's important to take a little time every so often to reflect on your life and ponder the ways in which you've grown as a person over the last 2, 5, even 10 years. It's hard to believe that this year marks the 10-year anniversary of my wife and I hooking up. As a way to commemorate the milestone, I've been looking at albums that contain pictures taken in 2005, as well as listening to songs on my iPod that came out and were popular at that time. The early years of our relationship coincided with my final 2 years in college, so Iately I have been having flashes of myself walking to class and studying for exams. I think we're always more likely to reflect fondly on even...

Does being upset or melancholy give you the urge to splurge? A new study reveals that more people fall victim to this pattern than they realize or care to admit. People don't realize that trying to drown their sorrows by shelling out thousands of dollars for a designer handbag or luxurious watch can have adverse effects. Ironically, spending lavishly on material goods doesn't overcome feelings of, say, anger or low self esteem -- it compounds them! The elation one feels after buying an item is fleeting. Sooner or later, you'll grow accustomed to the product, get bored by it, or feel the impulse to buy that next-best-thing. You'll never feel totally happy, and this will in turn amplify your despair. Here are two alternatives that I feel will work a lot better: 1. Rely on experiences rather than tangible products -- Studies have shown that experiences ultimately bring us a lot more happiness than tangible items do. Whether it's a trip to the local museum o...

All of us have had bad experiences we'd prefer to bury away and never reflect upon again. But can bad memories actually serve a good purpose? They certainly can if our aim is to better ourselves and strive to overcome obstacles that may have seemed insurmountable in the past. For example, I've gone through bouts of weight gain throughout my life. When I was in elementary school, I was even teased about my weight by a few kids. This only strengthened my resolve to shed a good amount of weight and show my fellow classmates that I was capable of achieving what I set my mind to. A few years ago, I found myself well over fifty pounds overweight. One day, while looking in the mirror, flashes of those hurtful days in elementary school came to mind. I vowed that not only would I get in shape, but I would never let myself go again. I'm glad to report that I've made good on that promise to this day. My point is that triggering painful memories can actually make you stro...

Lately I find myself reminiscing a lot about the past. I have been combing the internet for radio clips transmitted and recorded by my favorite radio station over 15 years ago. I have also reflected upon old friendships and memorable occasions (birthday parties, graduations, etc.) that have left an indelible imprint on my life. You're probably wondering why in the world I would be searching for those radio clips. Well, one of the great things about music is that, like pictures, it takes you down memory lane and allows you to reflect upon what your life was like at the time -- who your friends were, which restaurants and movie theaters you frequented (and whether those venues are still in business today), how you dressed, and what your interests were. Going back to the title of this post, reflecting is healthful so long as it is done in moderation and not through rose-colored glasses. Nostalgia makes us think of happier moments in the past, but we tend to block out the less plea...