No one is "too busy" for you, at least not all the time. Those who say that are being dishonest. Sure, they may be too busy to call back or respond to your text today, tomorrow, or even this whole week. But to go several weeks -- if not months -- without getting back to you is just, well, too much for anyone to have to stomach. Even if someone is going through a rough patch in their life, a quick note to say as much -- and that they will touch base once the situation improves -- will more than suffice. Being left hanging isn't what someone who values you does. If anything, it demonstrates the exact opposite: indifference. People prioritize the things and people that matter to them. Such a situation is made all the more demoralizing when you recognize that you yourself make a conscious effort to respond to others even when you're down in the dumps. But as I've noted time and again, you can't expect people to behave exactly as you would or care a...

Human beings have a tendency to stick it out with costly decisions, and it can be attributed directly to the sunk cost fallacy. According to this psychological concept, the more we invest -- whether it be money, time, or emotions -- the less likely we are to abandon our initial choices. There are many examples of the sunk cost fallacy in action. For example, if you've invested $10,000 in a women's studies degree even though you recognize your job prospects following graduation are looking a tad bleak, you're likely to press on. Or, perhaps you've been waiting in the same line at the grocery store for nearly 10 minutes while others around you speed by. You've waited this long, so you refuse to budge. Or maybe you insist on getting through the final two chapters of the mediocre book you're reading, or wrapping up the last season of the show you've been watching for several years. After we commit, we tend to bind ourselves to our own decisions, an...

The best way to get back at someone is not by inflicting harm on them -- whether physical, mental, or emotional pain. It's not by wishing that something bad were to happen to them. It's not by stealing from, cheating on, lying to, or publicly embarrassing them. All of these methods are cold, calculated, utterly pointless and, quite frankly, callow. Two wrongs don't make a right. By seeking retribution, you stoop to the other person's level. The best way to get back at someone is by demonstrating to them that your life is richer and more fulfilling without them in it.  In other words, you show that making the most of your life -- by indulging your hobbies and spending time with people you love -- doesn't have to involve him or her. Whether the person dumped you, cheated on you, stabbed you in the back, or did something else to betray your trust, rest assured that someday, somebody will do the same to them. It is then they'll realize how you must h...

What's worse than being home by yourself while all your friends and family are out and about? That's easy: A relationship in which your partner makes you feel lonely. Think about it. You're with someone whom you turn to for affection, attention, and advice. But whether it's because your partner is always working, traveling, indifferent, or in their own world mentally, your needs always go unmet. You feel as though you're living by yourself, but you're really not. It can be like crying out for help and never receiving a response. If you've raised the issue with your partner but still seem unable to get through to him or her, it might be time to decide whether you should seek counseling, or if you're better off pulling the plug altogether. It has been scientifically proven that loneliness distorts our perceptions of our relationships. Studies have discovered that merely asking people to recall times they felt lonely was sufficient to make t...

It goes without saying that people should never try to hurt others deliberately. Even if someone has hurt or deceived you first -- say, by spreading a rumor about you or cheating on you -- seeking retribution isn't going to make you feel better. If anything, you would be stooping down to their level, making the resentment you feel toward them fester longer. Instead, show you're above such pettiness by speaking privately with them and reaffirming your expectations. If they apologize for what they did, and you wish to salvage the relationship, make it clear to them that you will not carry on unless you're given the respect you deserve. If they do not apologize, or if you're simply at wit's end, make it clear that you want nothing to do with them anymore. (Walking away without declaring your intentions is also your prerogative.) If you want to convey that you're fed up with someone, indifference is far more effective than getting all worked up, as the l...

What would you say is the worst kind of punishment you can inflict on someone? While many might feel it's delivering physical abuse (e.g., beating the person up), I firmly believe that mental and emotional damage can be far more difficult to rebound from. Such wounds can take far longer to heal. When it comes to indifference, stop for a moment and think about just how painful it must be to realize that someone near and dear to your heart -- whether it's your partner, friend, or a family member -- couldn't care less about you anymore. Such indifference could come in many forms, with unanswered texts or calls chief among them. Perhaps you don't get a call on your birthday from the individual, or even after just having gone through a trying experience (e.g., emergency surgery or a death in the family). It could very well be that we forgot the person's birthday, weren't there when they needed us, or had a huge argument with them, and now they've cut of...

It's easy to see the many ways that relationships -- whether with friends, family members, coworkers, or significant others -- add value to our life. In a healthy relationship, both individuals give and receive love, affection, kindness, compassion, advice, and support. Both invest the time and energy to make the other feel special and acknowledged. Neither takes the other for granted or bolts at the first sign of trouble, whether in the relationship or outside of it. A toxic relationship, on the other hand, is suffused with negativity and riddled with conflict. Distrust snowballs into deep resentment. Lying, lambasting, and lashing out become par for the course. While occasional arguments are normal in a relationship and can be beneficial in the sense that both people learn to work toward achieving common ground, too much fighting can escalate to the point where (1) both individuals are at each other's throats (2) they grow so disillusioned that they stop caring altoge...

One of the surest ways to have people to step all over you is to always wear your heart on your sleeve and not think things through rationally. Some people go to great lengths to avoid conflict and confrontation -- so much so that they'll acquiesce to others' every desire. Being too much of a people pleaser, ironically, will hurt you in the end -- the exact scenario you're aiming to avoid in the first place --because someone will eventually exploit your generous nature to get as much out of you as they can. Yes, you should try to do favors for others and lend a hand when it's needed. But you shouldn't be afraid to say no to someone for fear of disappointing them or causing a rift in the relationship. A relationship built on fear is no relationship at all. If something so minute can lead to tensions in the relationship, it begs the question: Is this the kind of person you want to be around? You can be nice without being a doormat. It may sound counterintu...

People often ask me what they should do if they feel someone in their life -- whether their partner, close friend, or relative -- has been taking them for granted. They expect me to advise them to confront or yell at the individual. But I recommend they take a markedly different course of action -- one that leaves them visibly shocked. I advise them to thank the person, and move on. You may be asking why in the world you would thank them for anything. After all, all they've done is take advantage of the person. Well, you would thank them for one very simple reason. They've demonstrated through their actions that they're simply not worth your time, and you're simply saying thanks for helping you arrive at that conclusion. You're saying thanks for helping you realize that you deserve better -- and never again will you allow anyone to exploit your generous nature. You're saying thanks because, going forward, you're going to strive to be more judic...

Many people seem rather confused as to the definition of a relationship. No, it isn't when two soulmates come together. It isn't about having another person "complete" your life. Such definitions are far too simplistic, ignoring the hard truth that -- as with everything else -- relationships take work and have their downsides. A true relationship is one between two imperfect people who refuse to give up on one another.  I would go so far as to say that you can't call it a relationship until both people have been through ups and downs together. In reality, you don't know a person as well as you think you might until you've seen them in a trying situation. At the first sign of trouble, some people bail cravenly -- without warning. And relationships aren't all about hugs, kisses, and butterflies. That may be so in the very beginning, during the so-called honeymoon stage, but eventually the relationship matures and both people have to face the mu...

I've talked to some of my readers on this blog about a situation involving my closest friend. Long story short, he did something that really ticked me off -- mind you, this is the second time he's done it -- and now I intend to inflict what I consider to be the worst kind of punishment: indifference. The reason why I think indifference is the cruelest type of punishment is because it basically communicates that you couldn't care less about the person anymore. What he or she does or says no longer matters to you -- you are perfectly fine shutting the individual out of your life for good. This may not be the case at all;  you might still care deeply about the person. But at the end of the day, life is really more about what you perceive to be true than what may in fact be true. Many people imagine that getting riled up and lashing out at the person is the worst thing you can do, but I don't find this to be the case. Why? Because when you're angry, you're demon...