Don't stay in a relationship if you're lonely

What's worse than being home by yourself while all your friends and family are out and about?

That's easy: A relationship in which your partner makes you feel lonely.

Think about it.

You're with someone whom you turn to for affection, attention, and advice. But whether it's because your partner is always working, traveling, indifferent, or in their own world mentally, your needs always go unmet.

You feel as though you're living by yourself, but you're really not. It can be like crying out for help and never receiving a response.

If you've raised the issue with your partner but still seem unable to get through to him or her, it might be time to decide whether you should seek counseling, or if you're better off pulling the plug altogether.

It has been scientifically proven that loneliness distorts our perceptions of our relationships.

Studies have discovered that merely asking people to recall times they felt lonely was sufficient to make them devalue their relationships.

Such perceptual distortions often cause lonely people to withdraw even further from the very people who could alleviate their loneliness -- that is, if they cared enough to do so.

This speaks to the importance of keeping an open dialogue with your significant other.

Perhaps what you perceive as indifference is really your partner being uncommunicative about his recent health woes. Or maybe your wife has been so caught up with work that she never realized she'd put you on the sidelines.

But, if after you've broached the subject, they make no effort to ameliorate the situation, then they're either in denial, apathetic, or simply taking you for granted.

At that point, remaining in the relationship will only bring more harm than good. You deserve to be with someone who reciprocates the time and energy you invest in them.

And let's not forget, as I've driven home in other posts, that loneliness and being alone are not the same.

A person could be blissfully happy in their relationship but still desire some alone time every now and then to recharge or clear their head. Whether you or your partner crave such solitude, the other should be understanding.

But loneliness is a negative condition no one wishes to suffer from. And if one feels lonely in their relationship or marriage, they should reach out to their friends and relatives for support.

Without question, it's better to be alone than in bad company. At least when it's just you, you can give yourself your undivided attention, and you're not wasting precious time and energy on someone who may fail to appreciate you.

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