Have you ever trusted someone to be there when you need them, only to see them bolt when things really start to fall apart? Maybe you needed advice during your tumultous divorce, a place to stay after the passing of your spouse, or a few bucks after being laid off that you promised to pay back. Yep, we've all been there. It's plain to see why this can be so hurtful. Not only did they leave you in the lurch, but they clearly demonstrated their actions didn't mirror their words. Essentially, they lied, and maybe you can't imagine ever trusting them again -- and rightly so. But we can't give these people the satisfaction of seeing us all bent out of shape, as it will convey that they have us emotionally wrapped around their finger. We ought to remind ourselves that for every person who betrays us, there's one out there who will stand behind us no matter what life throws our way -- whether it be a close friend, reliable neighbor, or caring cousin. Th...

There's no sense in regretting prior relationships that ended badly. What's done is done. Sure, in an ideal world, we would all see our relationships end amicably, with our exes becoming trustworthy friends. But parting on such favorable terms seldom happens. After a relationship goes down the toilet, people tend to have thoughts along the lines of: "I wasted so much time on that guy." "I knew Sue wasn't right for me. I could have been with Joan all this time." "It was a mistake to have ever even met Tim." This kind of thinking is conducive only to anger and bitterness. You won't resolve anything by trying to rationalize the reasons why things went awry.  And even checking off all the things you did right and your partner did wrong won't repair the relationship. There are some special circumstances where a person might have cause for loathing their ex and wishing they'd never crossed paths (e.g., he or she was ...

Just because someone in your life doesn't care for you -- or disingenuously says they do, but never shows it -- doesn't mean you should forget about the special people in your life who demonstrably hold you in high esteem. As a matter of fact, it should make you more grateful for the latter than you were before. We've all found ourselves in situations where people we care deeply about don't seem to reciprocate such feelings. Perhaps it's a partner who wants out of the relationship, or a friend who has been taking you for granted. We become so obsessed with trying to rationalize their motives that we may neglect the wonderful people in our lives who have been there for us when we've needed them. In other words, we want what we can't have, and risk losing what we already have. Let's face it. People who genuinely care for us would never put us through such hoops. If someone treats you as disposable -- telegraphing that they have much big...

We've all dealt with a friend or partner who, out of the blue, becomes indifferent towards us. They cease making any effort to see or call us. They make every excuse in the book not to attend your birthday party or any other occasion you invite them to. When you confront them as to why they don't ever seem to give you the time of day, they don't have an answer. This leaves us feeling hurt, confused, and frustrated. We want this person to be as interested in us as we are in them, but the scales just never seem to balance. While it's true that typically one person is always more invested in the relationship or friendship than the other, it shouldn't be completely one-sided. People make time for those who truly matter to them, even if it's by doing something as simple as sending a quick text message. Unfortunately, some people get in relationships and ditch their friends. Others just have so many friends and acquaintances that they wind up leaving some ...

Many of us have a tendency to see people through rose-colored glasses rather than judging them for who they really are. In other words, we're idealistic rather than realistic . We know what people are capable of -- they've done us wrong before -- yet still we decide to give them the benefit of the doubt. We really exclusively on what our heart tells us, to the exclusion of any alarms your mind may be sounding. Unfortunately, this is how people end up in disastrous relationships. When dealing with people, it's imperative that we not solely rely on our emotions. The brain should also play a role. We can compare this to something in politics of all things: the system of checks and balances, where each of the three branches of government can limit the powers of the others. This way, no one branch becomes too powerful. Each branch “checks” the power of the other branches to make sure that the power is balanced between them. It's precisely because of this system that the ...

A lot of people think unhappiness stems only from things that happen to us. In reality, though, unhappiness comes not from external events, but from our internal response to those events. That explains why we may grow bored of jobs of relationships we once found exciting. While a raise at work or bouquet of flowers from our partner may have been sufficient at one point to bring us ample joy, that may not be the case any longer. It's not the event itself -- but the way we react to it -- that predicts how happy or unhappy we'll be. Let me give you another example. Have you noticed how some people might laugh at a joke, while others take it out of context and end up angry as a result? A job that one person might find fulfilling can get on someone else's nerves. The same goes for relationships. As the saying goes, one man's trash is another man's treasure. It's not the job or relationship that causes us to be unhappy. It's the way we react to and per...