Skip to main content

If they don't care, neither should YOU

We've all dealt with a friend or partner who, out of the blue, becomes indifferent towards us.

They cease making any effort to see or call us. They make every excuse in the book not to attend your birthday party or any other occasion you invite them to. When you confront them as to why they don't ever seem to give you the time of day, they don't have an answer.

This leaves us feeling hurt, confused, and frustrated. We want this person to be as interested in us as we are in them, but the scales just never seem to balance.

While it's true that typically one person is always more invested in the relationship or friendship than the other, it shouldn't be completely one-sided.

People make time for those who truly matter to them, even if it's by doing something as simple as sending a quick text message.

Unfortunately, some people get in relationships and ditch their friends. Others just have so many friends and acquaintances that they wind up leaving some in the dust.

Rather than try to rationalize why a person's behavior has changed -- as I've done numerous times in the past -- it's best to let them be and move on.

For example, one of my coworkers, who has always been known for her silly and bubbly personality, has mysteriously decided to give everyone in the office the cold shoulder.

I have tried being friendly with her, but she's put up a wall and seems like she's in no hurry to rub elbows with anyone again for a while. (Oddly enough, she is still friendly with those outside of the department.) My coworkers and I are at a loss as to her sudden change in behavior. Is it something I'm going to dwell on and lose sleep over? Absolutely not!

We all have bigger fish to fry. By focusing so much on this one person, we waste time that could be spent on another friend or love interest who will truly value it.

Face it: some people don't change. You can always bring to their attention how you're feeling and see if their behavior changes going forward, but there's no guarantee it will.

Alas, many will realize they screwed up once it's too late. There are those who don't know what they have until it's gone.

Life is too short to agonize over why a person is or isn't committed to your relationship. Once you feel you've exhausted all your resources and lost your patience, kiss that person goodbye and invest your time in people who really deserve it.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

An important note to women about men and attraction

I was raised by my mom, grandma, and two older sisters.  Growing up, never did I ever take any interest in the girls at school who tended toward exposing more skin. I always treated them as I would my female family members -- with the utmost courtesy and respect.  And anytime I suspected that a male friend or acquaintance of mine adopted a hump-and-dump attitude toward women, I nixed them from my life. I held men who treated women as objects in very low regard, and still do to this day. If women feel empowered to show off their bodies because they love and work hard on their physique, more power to them. In other words, if they're doing it to please THEMSELVES and no one else, good for them.  However, those who do it specifically to curry men's favor are making a big mistake. It sends the wrong signals and actually makes it less likely that a man will want to stick around for a committed relationship (if that's what you want as anyway).  Granted, if you're not lookin...