Are you unhappily single? Does love seem to evade you like the pesky mouse that manages to squeak by the frustrated cat? Take heart. Many out there are in your shoes. But just because you've been unsuccessful in relationships previously doesn't mean that trend has to continue.  In order to secure real, lasting love, you must land somewhere between these polar-opposite approaches: 1. The rush to find someone and the willingness to patiently wait for Mr. or Ms. Right to waltz into your life.  Hooking up with someone without first getting to know them is foolhardy, especially if you're fortunate enough to be aware of traits or a certain track record you view as disqualifying (e.g., he was known to beat up his ex-wife or, unlike you, is an unapologetic atheist). Instead of rushing into a relationship just so you can declare you're no longer single, give it some time. Just because there's low-hanging fruit doesn't mean you have to snag it. However, some people take ...

Be leery of someone you're dating who tries to cajole you into moving much faster than you're comfortable with. If someone is worth your while, they would never pressure you into doing anything -- whether it's sleeping going on a trip to a faraway island by yourselves, or tying the knot -- before you feel you're ready for that major step. If they can't respect your wishes, too bad! They're more than welcome to move on and find someone who similarly desires to move at blazing speed. That's not you. No, you refuse to betray your values and principles, whether that means waiting until marriage to be intimate or not wanting to give into the other person's desire to move to another state together after dating for a mere two months. You'd be right to question why he or she seems intent on moving at breakneck speed. Does he just want to use you? Is she looking to use you for your money until she gets back on her feet? Is he on the rebound, aiming to use you...

We've all heard sayings like "patience is a virtue," "good things come to those who wait," and "everything happens at the right time." But are these valid assertions, or just tired platitudes? The fact of the matter is this: Life is a balancing act between striking the right level of patience and working toward one's goals . There's no question that you shouldn't force what you know in your heart isn't for you. For example, if your gut tells you that the position you interviewed for isn't right -- and you can afford to hold off a little longer -- don't accept it if an offer is extended. Or let's pretend you've been single for two years and would do just about anything to hook up with someone. Unfortunately, desperation can drive people to settle for someone who they know deep down is a poor fit. Needless to say, patience can pay huge dividends. You may second guess your decision initially, only to have a mu...

We all have experience making a gaffe or two on a first date. Maybe we've arrived late, accidentally tripped, hesitated when asked a personal question, or inadvertently burped. While these are all unintentional slips, some people make a far more damaging mistake -- one that precludes the possibility of a second date. If there's something that can send your date running for the hills in no time, it's moving too fast.  Here are just a few examples of ways that someone can overdo it on a first date: Getting touchy Trying to plant a kiss too quickly Mentioning meeting each other's friends and parents Discussing long-term plans, like becoming exclusive and getting married People have to remember that this is a first date! Take a deep breath, relax, and enjoy yourself without getting all wrapped up in the serious stuff so soon.  You will cross that bridge once you get there, provided that the two of you are compatible and wish to continue seeing eac...

Have you ever felt desperate to jump into a relationship -- whether out of fear of loneliness, pressure from peers or family members, or merely to have someone around for special occasions like Christmas and Valentine's Day? I can understand the yearning to have someone at your side, experiencing the highs and lows of life with you. Having a partner can offer myriad benefits. It's great to have a shoulder to lean on/ear to listen to you on those really tough days, just as it is to have a partner to share in your successes. Assuming one has a wonderful partner who goes out of his or her way to make them happy, a companion can undoubtedly be a blessing. But no one should jump into a relationship unless/until they feel the time is right. Your friends may try to hook you up with an acquaintance whom you don't necessarily deem attractive or your type. Maybe you're talking to a guy online who wants to move a little faster than you feel is appropriate. Always let...

Many people make the grave mistake of saying "I love you" just a couple of weeks into their relationship. In my view, you can't really love a person that early in the game. You're merely getting to know each other at this juncture. Six months to a year makes more sense. At this point, you likely have a better sense as to the person's flaws, how strong your chemistry is, and whether the relationship is built to survive the honeymoon stage. If the "l" word is thrown around prematurely, it could signal to the other person that you have an ulterior motive in mind, whether it's to get in their pants or simply have someone around following a tough breakup. Telling someone you love them is a huge thing -- probably the most significant event in a relationship after being proposed to. Don't rush into it. Don't tell someone you love them until you feel you're ready.

Let's face it: Most men haven't a clue whether a woman is interested in him or not. What's particularly irksome is when a guy makes eye contact with a woman and takes that to mean that she is interested in him. To those guys I pose this question: If you're a heterosexual male who happens to make eye contact with another male, would you say that the guy is interested in you? No, right? So why assume that a woman is? When something comes into your vision sight that you may not be looking at directly -- whether it be a bird, car, or UFO -- you won't be able to pinpoint what it is until you turn your head and look, right? So why can't guys reason that you both made eye contact for that very reason? What's more, many guys (including some of my friends) assume that if an attractive woman so much as talks to him, she must be digging him. I think many males' testosterone levels go bonkers when they get any sort of attention from a woman. That exciting ru...