Chances are, you or someone you know has dipped their toes in the realm of online dating. For every story of an offline meeting that culminates in a fairy tale story wedding, there is an awful experience that the people in question would be happy to forget. The biggest plus of online dating, as I see it, is that you know exactly what romantic prospects are looking for. You can filter search results so that only those who, say, are single, interested in a romantic relationship, and don't drink come up. This not only saves a lot of time, but it removes a lot of the guesswork involved in determining whether someone makes a good match. When you approach someone at a bar, however, you don't really know whether they're married and just there to get their mind off of work. Not to mention some people become visibly annoyed when they sense they're being watched or courted -- whether it's because they're having a bad day, the time and place aren't right,...

It goes without saying that people should never try to hurt others deliberately. Even if someone has hurt or deceived you first -- say, by spreading a rumor about you or cheating on you -- seeking retribution isn't going to make you feel better. If anything, you would be stooping down to their level, making the resentment you feel toward them fester longer. Instead, show you're above such pettiness by speaking privately with them and reaffirming your expectations. If they apologize for what they did, and you wish to salvage the relationship, make it clear to them that you will not carry on unless you're given the respect you deserve. If they do not apologize, or if you're simply at wit's end, make it clear that you want nothing to do with them anymore. (Walking away without declaring your intentions is also your prerogative.) If you want to convey that you're fed up with someone, indifference is far more effective than getting all worked up, as the l...

Whether it's a love interest who's made you their "plan B" in case it doesn't work out with their first choice, or a friend who only calls you when plans with other people fall through, never allow yourself to be someone's backup. What a lousy position to be in!  The other person is essentially saying that you're not good enough to be their top pick. Well, here's the good news: You will always be good enough for someone else out there. You will be someone's first choice. And that's why it's imperative that you not rest on your laurels when someone places you on the back burner. By doing so, you risk missing out on opportunities to meet or be with people who genuinely value your time and the ways you enhance their lives. Rather than pine for someone who doesn't want to give you the time of day, you should gravitate toward people who feel that investing time in you is well worth it. If people don't choose you, tough luck. ...

The principal reason why we expect too much from others is because we are often willing to do the same -- if not more -- for them, but they just don't share our disposition. As often happens in relationships, one person is far more invested than the other. For example, one person in particular is always proposing outings, sending texts, liking Facebook posts, and offering to lend a hand whenever it's needed. The other isn't as actively engaged, sometimes vanishing for weeks (if not months) on end. Once the other person grows accustomed to this, he or she might simply check out, believing that everything is well under control. They just expect to be catered to. You can never assume that the other person -- whether it's your friend or partner -- will bring to the relationship the same level of energy and willingness to please that you do. They may claim to be busy with work, family, or other priorities. (As I stressed in a recent post, however, people will find th...

Do you embrace your uniqueness? Do you like the fact that you have quirks, talents, and convictions that set you apart from your peers? Do you take pride in the fact that there can never be another you ? If so, the last thing you should allow is for other people to change you. I mean, really...who are they to dictate how you should think and act? Are you not a grown adult capable of making your own decisions? As I've stressed in several other posts, people will try to goad you into changing for a variety of reasons: There's something about you that's a little different, and that makes them feel uncomfortable and insecure. They subscribe to the herd mentality, believing everyone in their immediate circle should share exactly the same beliefs, habits, goals, etc. They secretly envy you: Rather than celebrate your good qualities, they'd rather see you lose them; instead of cheering your successes, they take delight in your failures.  Indeed, certain people we...