Just the other day, I came across the following quote: "Make sure everyone in your 'boat' is rowing and not drilling holes when you're not looking." In other words, know your circle. Familiarize yourself with the company you keep. Not every person who smiles at you and tells you nice things is your friend -- let alone someone in whom you should confide your biggest secrets. As I've stated in recent posts, some people are masterful at faking it. They're pretenders. It's not always easy to distinguish genuine people from fakers, but one of the telltale signs is when their actions don't seem to mirror their words. For example, in the workplace they may claim to be working hard, but that might not jell with the fact they're always trying to leave early or dump their work on subordinates. Then there are those friends who say they care about you, but never seem to spare a moment to call you or reply to your texts. Again, when what peo...

Silence gets such a bad rap these days, and I don't know why. I've heard people say they loathe being in typically quiet settings -- say, libraries, churches, or local parks -- where it's so hushed in there that it totally unnerves them. I recently visited my alma mater's enormous library, which spans eight spacious floors. The sixth and seventh floors have been designated "quiet areas" where talking is all but forbidden. If someone on campus wishes to hear nothing but a pin drop while studying or working, they know to go to the library. It's my go-to place to get some reading done when I find myself too distracted at home. I only wish I had availed of it more when I was a student there. As an introvert, it's hardly a surprise that I relish silence. It helps me recharge my batteries after long days at work spent in meetings and alongside people around the office who just don't know when to zip it. Extroverts find silence off-putting bec...

I noticed a quote online the other day that not only rings true for most of us, but perfectly sums up some of life's biggest ironies: "It takes sadness to know happiness, noise to appreciate silence, absence to value presence." In other words, we need to experience what it's like not to have something in order to appreciate having it. We take something for granted and only begin to appreciate the happiness it brings us once it's no longer there. For example, I've ended friendships and relationships over the years with people who took advantage of my kind, generous nature. The deep sadness I was feeling -- coupled with the fact I was at wits end -- prompted me to pull the plug, and I eventually found happiness in the company of others who valued my time. Though disappointed and contrite at first, they later thanked me for teaching them what it really means to appreciate others. They ingrained this in their minds moving forward, helping them improve ...

This morning, I was laser-focused on my work -- so much so that my co-worker questioned why I was so quiet. It's not the first time he's remarked on how quiet I can get when I'm very busy. On a few other occasions, he's stated that the office has been so quiet that he could almost hear himself think. People who are like this get on my nerves. (My apologies if you react similarly in quiet settings.) We get enough noise out on the street and at home. A little silence never hurt anybody, so what's the big deal? People who hold a disdain for quietness tend to be as such: Highly extroverted  Rely on external stimuli to stay focused and entertained (other people, etc.) Not particularly deep thinkers -- they tend to avoid solitary pursuits like reading and writing Have a high need for attention Are probably not that busy themselves if they have the time to notice how quiet it is Can be awfully insecure -- they suspect that people must be quiet for a reason ...