At some point, you've likely made an effort to motivate your reluctant partner to do something you know will be good for them. Maybe it's getting more exercise and laying off the fatty foods. Perhaps it's investing more time into studying to finally earn that degree, or doing chores around the house. Here's the thing: It’s a lot easier to make changes within yourself than to get someone else to. It's only human nature for people to resist others' efforts to push them into doing things they simply don't wish to do. And, sometimes, the harder you try, the more obdurate they are. Here's a sounder strategy for getting around their obstinance: Let them observe changes in YOUR own attitude and actions, which are far more likely to prompt changes in your partner than anything else. For example, let's assume you feel your partner is taking you for granted. You've told your partner countless times that you wish they would put more effort...

The only keeper of your happiness is you. Stop giving other people power to control your smile, your attitude, and your worth. Never hand the keys to your happiness to someone else. Live life on your terms, doing what you love, and seeking out challenges and experiences that enrich your soul. No one knows your dreams, goals, and fears better than you do. No other person is there for you like you are -- 24 hours a day, seven days a week. No one has gone through the very ordeals you've confronted. To give others control over your emotions is to sign away your right to be happy. It puts you at the mercy of others who may not always have your best interests at heart -- people who might leave your life at any given moment. Sharing your happiness with the people you love is one thing. Depending on them to be happy is another. When you place your happiness in the hands of others, you expect them to think and act as you would. You anticipate that they will always be there...

Many people feel that if they're unsuccessful at something, they've failed -- not just themselves, but others as well. They take a defeatist attitude, convincing themselves that they're losers. They second-guess their decisions.  They beat themselves up over not trying hard enough.  They tell themselves that if only they had said this or done that, they might have prevailed.  I'm here to tell you this:  You don't lose. You either win, or you learn. For example, maybe you didn't get the job, but you realize you can polish your resume a bit and work on improving your interviewing skills. Perhaps you made a couple of uncouth remarks on your blind date that are likely to blame for the fact you never heard from the person again. This shows you that thinking before you speak might be something to shoot for.  Or, maybe you failed an exam you assumed you could pass by cramming for a few hours the night before, demonstrating how importan...

That's what I always tell myself when I'm angry over something that really isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Isn't it funny how many of the things we complain about are ones that we might not even remember in a year's -- or even a week's-- time? We sweat the small stuff. We make mountains out of molehills, all while other people out there have it far worse. Whenever you feel tempted to sound off about something that's bothering you, stop and ask yourself whether getting all bent out of shape is really beneficial. That's not to say you shouldn't stand up for yourself, or that you should keep silent when someone is doing something that isn't on the up and up. However, we often say and do things that we later come to regret because we let our emotions get the best of us. We feel so compelled to win an argument or get our way that all rational thinking goes out the window. When I find myself in such a negative emotional st...

Here's to a happy, healthy, and productive March for us all! If February was a good month for you, I hope this month will be nothing short of great! If you're dealing with any problems that carried over into March, you now have a fresh 31 days to resolve them. It will get better! If you're working to achieve a goal but haven't quite crossed the finish line, don't despair. A new month presents a wonderful opportunity to work a bit harder toward achieving it. You'll get there, little by little. Don't ruminate on what did or did not happen in February, for that month is now behind us. Focus on what lies ahead. As long as you're positive, the forecast won't call for showers and thunderstorms. Instead, there will be plenty of sunny days in store. As I've put forward in prior entries, the mind exerts a powerful influence over our mood and attitude. If you go into the month assuming the worst, you'll get the worst. It's that simp...

As I've said countless times, getting someone to change is often a futile effort. It's very difficult to change people's personality, beliefs or attitudes. Not only are we naturally resistant to change, but being prodded into changing usually has the unintended effect of making people double down on the very behavior you're hoping to change. If you want to stand any chance of changing someone, however, it can only be done in two ways: (1) opening one's heart and/or (2) opening one's mind. In other words, you're more likely to get someone to change when you can appeal to their thoughts or their emotions. It's for this reason that advertising can be so effective, especially ads of a negative nature. They not only lead us to rethink our positions, but they stir powerful emotions in us -- from sadness to regret. Whether you want someone to become more respectful or less selfish, it usually starts with a heart-to-heart. Unfortunately, sometimes th...