Studies show that someone may display interest in you only because you liked them first. Needless to say, the human ego is at work here. Few things feel as great as knowing you tickle someone's fancy, so long as you're not perceived to be a creep, weirdo, or stalker of some kind. If you find them attractive, they may be flattered and think you have good taste. And then once they show interest in you, you may be flattered and think they have good taste. Thus, we have a cycle in which interpersonal attraction grows on both sides. But as we all know, attraction can ebb and flow over the course of the relationship. Lusty attraction in the context of the so-called honeymoon stage -- where both partners see each other in the most favorable light -- doesn't last forever. Once the relationship begins to mature and both individuals grow more comfortable with each other, those intense feelings give way to comfort and security -- though that isn't to say the mutu...

Let's face it: There's no escaping hardship in life. Whether we're dealing with an impossible project at work or tackling financial issues at home, life has a way of throwing a money wrench at us when least expected. But this doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing. Sure, we can feel lost and frustrated at first, but it's critical that we take the long view and realize we can emerge better -- stronger, wiser, more confident -- than before. And it starts with your mindset. If you can frame things differently in your mind, it goes a long way toward making it easier for you to surmount the challenge you face. Rather than meeting a challenge with trepidation, think of it as an exciting test of your will, drive, and mettle.  The former engenders feelings of fear and hopelessness. The latter approach fuels you with energy, motivation, and boldness. Sure, it isn't foolproof, but ask yourself these questions: If we didn't have challenges in li...

Have you ever wondered how narcissists manage to make good first impressions on us? Indeed, when we first meet people who later turn out to be narcissistic, they strike us as elegant, charming, and fun to be around. But over time, such positive impressions turn sour when we realize that these individuals are majorly self-absorbed and insensitive. Just how do narcissists manage to deceive us in this way? According to research, they're well-regarded at first because we mistake their arrogance for high self-esteem. As I've noted in earlier posts, there's a fine line between these characteristics. And when we're first getting to know someone, we want to give them the benefit of the doubt, so we perceive them as confident and high in self-worth. When sifting through photos of college students who'd completed narcissism and self-esteem scales, participants in four experiments rated those who scored highest on narcissism most likeable and highest in self-este...

Want to please everyone around you? Don't even bother. It's a fact of that life that people always find something to criticize you about, whether it's your new car ("it's so small"), the decorations used at your wedding reception ("they're so tacky"), or your profession ("she could have gone into something more lucrative"). Needless to say, someone will always take issue with something you do or don't do. Should you care? Absolutely not! As long as you're happy, that's all that matters. Be confident in your choices and do whatever gratifies you. It is, after all, your life and not theirs. I'm of the belief that people who have a knack for putting others' choices down are probably dissatisfied with their own. Perhaps feelings of envy are bubbling below the surface, and they try to make themselves feel better by undermining the other person's successes. Thus, misery loves company. It's a shame tha...

The word of the day is sanguine . According to the dictionary, to be sanguine is to be optimistic, confident, or positive, especially in a bad or difficult situation. Other similar words include buoyant, enthusiastic, upbeat, and cheerful. I don't see sanguine being used that often. I first came across the word in a book I read recently. For whatever reason, it initially sounded to me like a word that could mean "sad" or "melancholy." Thus, to be sanguine is to look on the bright side -- to see the glass as half full rather than half empty. Antonyms of the word sanguine include gloomy, negative, and pessimistic. When we're in a tough spot, it certainly pays to remain sanguine. Positive thinking leads to positive outcomes. The more disposed we are toward shunning those negative thoughts that trickle into our mind, the better our chance at success. If you assume you're going to fail, you probably will. As Theodore Roosevelt once said, "Belie...

In my last post, I argued that men's biggest complaint about women is that they generally don't know what they want in the arena of relationships. Some claim to want a nice, sweet guy, but they still end up with the exact opposite. What they say they want and what they actually go for don't always square. Does this mean that all women have a preference for bad boys? Nope, not at all. What all women do want, as I pointed out in that earlier post, is a man with confidence. Because these bad boy types exude self-confidence (sometimes women mistake cockiness for confidence, however), women find themselves drawn to them. A guy can still be nice and romantic as long as he does it in small doses. No woman wants a man to worship the ground she walks on, as it communicates that the guy is needy and trying to supplicate to her. That just isn't the way to build attraction. A guy who doesn't seem sure of himself and always looks to his partner for approval is not do...

Being confident doesn't mean you think you're above anyone or everyone else -- that would actually define pomposity or conceit. Instead, it describes a person who knows others dislike or are opposed to something about them -- whether their looks, beliefs, or overall lifestyle -- and they're okay with it. No matter how much you try prodding them to change, they remain immovable. Here are a couple of examples of ways people are pressured to change: (1) They're pushed to smoke or drink (2) They're pushed to lose their virginity (if they remain a virgin into their 30s and 40s)  (3) They're pushed to be less quiet/more sociable (4) They're pushed to dress differently (5) They're pushed to date certain people (6) They're pushed into getting married and having children (7) They're pushed into certain careers. The second you begin catering to others' whims, you turn your back on all the things that make you you. At that point, you're liv...

Earlier today, a local radio station reported on its Facebook page that 75% of women prefer feminine men rather than masculine ones.  Since they didn't provide their source, I question the veracity of their claims. What's more, I've found the opposite to be true: Most women have told me they prefer masculine men. Not necessarily "muscle-bound" masculine, just a man who displays self-confidence and doesn't cry every two seconds. I'd like to think that not all women long for a Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Vin Diesel, or any of the guys portraying superheroes like Batman and Superman. Surely, there must be average Joes -- thin, chunky, brainy, and otherwise -- that ooze some sex appeal.  What's deemed sexy and attractive by one woman might be considered unappealing by another. Luckily, we all have different taste, and there's someone out there for everyone.  Still, most women would probably agree that the ideal man strikes a hea...