Skip to main content

Confidence means THIS

Being confident doesn't mean you think you're above anyone or everyone else -- that would actually define pomposity or conceit.

Instead, it describes a person who knows others dislike or are opposed to something about them -- whether their looks, beliefs, or overall lifestyle -- and they're okay with it. No matter how much you try prodding them to change, they remain immovable.

Here are a couple of examples of ways people are pressured to change: (1) They're pushed to smoke or drink (2) They're pushed to lose their virginity (if they remain a virgin into their 30s and 40s)  (3) They're pushed to be less quiet/more sociable (4) They're pushed to dress differently (5) They're pushed to date certain people (6) They're pushed into getting married and having children (7) They're pushed into certain careers.

The second you begin catering to others' whims, you turn your back on all the things that make you you. At that point, you're living your life on other people's terms rather than your own.

If you're happy being quiet, stay that way.

If you're happy being single or childfree, stand firm.

Never let others dictate what you should or should not do in your life -- unless you're deliberately seeking their advice and open to changing.

Never let someone make you feel as if you're not good enough simply because you don't do or like the things they do. 

Unfortunately, many people try to validate their own choices by foisting them on others. When they see someone whose life is a little different in some way, it causes them to question their own decisions, creating a sort of cognitive dissonance than be quite unsettling. 

The fact that I don't like alcohol continues to perplex some of my booze-loving friends and relatives. After I've spurned countless entreaties to drink, they've just about given up.

True confidence means never compromising on your interests and principles no matter how intense the pressure to change.

Ask yourself this: If certain people around you are having that hard of a time accepting you for who you are, do they really belong in your life?

If they genuinely care about you, they will appreciate your uniqueness rather than make it a sticking point in your relationship.

In sum, being confident doesn't have to imply you're full of yourself and look down on others. It means you're comfortable enough in your skin to thwart others' attempts to undermine or change aspects about yourself that you may truly covet.

Be confident, and never change for anyone unless it's something you really wish to do.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

The 1 good thing cheaters do for us

Nothing good could come of a relationship marred by infidelity, right? The heartache, the shock, the feeling of one's trust being violated.  In the short-term, being cheated on can turn one's world upside down. But eventually, there may be a light awaiting the cheated at the end of the tunnel.  If you really think about it, cheaters end up doing us a huge favor.  In their selfishness and disloyalty, they end up showing us that we deserve better.  If you're so unfortunate as to be a victim of such acts of betrayal, you can only hope the cheater is considerate enough to own up to their missteps.  But we all know full well that, in many cases, the cheater is either caught in the act or leaves behind a trail of hints that ultimately culminates in their undoing. The more classy thing to do is to discuss their feelings openly with their partner before straying.  If all talks lead to an impasse or a further escalation of tensions, both parties should take it as a ...