When you enter into a new relationship, it can feel as though you're walking on air. As you get to know each other, however, you may realize that you and your partner don't have as much in common as you originally thought. For example, in the beginning, your girlfriend may have tagged along for baseball games given your avid following of the hometown team. But a few months into the relationship, it becomes apparent that she can't be bothered to go to a game, let alone watch one at home with you. When you ask what brought on the change, she admits she was never crazy about baseball to begin with. She just wanted to make a good impression on and spend time with you. Now that she's comfy in the relationship, she doesn't have qualms about declining your invitations outright. Similarly, your partner may have led you to believe that they share other interests you may have -- whether reading, exercising, dancing, science, history, or cooking -- only to later ...

Hate doing the laundry? Detest washing the dishes? Do you often put off taking the dog for a walk because you'd rather be cozy in bed watching Law and Order reruns? We've all been there. When it comes to chores and other stuff on our To Do Lists that we loathe doing, we may find ourselves procrastinating -- so much so that we may come home to find the electricity has been shut off due to unpaid bills, we barely have any clean clothes to wear, or the leak we left unattended for weeks now poses a flood risk. While we may never actually grow to like these tasks, here's a valuable tip for helping you carry them out quicker and make them more bearable: With task enhancement, you add a positive stimulus/distraction to the mix so as to give your mind something more enjoyable to focus on while you complete the task. For example, I hate doing exercise after work, but I remind myself that it goes a long way toward keeping the pounds off. If I didn't have my iPod wit...

Many of us get into relationships and fall into one common trap: losing one's self-identity. Both individuals spend so much time together that they neglect their personal needs and interests -- the ones independent of the relationship. This can only lead to trouble on several fronts. For one, when two people are attached at the hip, especially early on in the relationship, they may eventually settle into routines and grow bored of each other. Both people should continue to cultivate the hobbies they enjoyed before they hooked up. Similarly, they should continue working on goals -- career-related or otherwise -- that they set out to achieve when they were single. Not only does this ensure continual progress in their personal or professional lives, but it means they have something they can share with one another that goes beyond themselves. This, in turn, keeps the relationship fresh. Giving each other space is doubly beneficial: it affords you the opportunity to miss e...

A while back, I came across a rather amusing quote: "Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit."  I don't know who the source of the comical quote is, but he or she was spot on. Love should never have to be forced. If one or both people in the relationship are forcing it, that raises a critical question: Why are they even together? Either the chemistry is off, one or both individuals has grown bored, or, worse yet, they've fallen out of love altogether. As I've noted in prior posts, once a couple passes the honeymoon stage, people's true colors emerge and the relationship begins to feel a little more like "work." Quirks about your partner that once seemed cute may begin to get on your nerves. As passion gradually gives way to complacency, partners may cease doing the little things that so endeared them to each other. You know you're with the right person when: You can be yourself around him or her You ...

Many assume that if someone is alone, time must sit still -- that within a matter of minutes, he or she is probably bored out of his mind and itching to do something to make the clock move a little faster. Well, while this may be true for some, it certainly doesn't apply to those who actually relish their time alone. Why? Because if the person is alone, there's a high probability they're introverted and enjoy their own company. If that's so, there's no reason to think they'd want time to fly. Being introverted doesn't mean you're shy, antisocial, or snobbish. It means you draw energy inward. Peace, quiet, and solitude recharge you. You enjoy being deep in thought. Heavy social interaction leaves you exhausted. In reality, introverts have such rich imaginations that they can momentarily escape reality and live comfortably in their heads when the urge strikes. From debating the merits of climate change to picturing what life was like in the...

Ever notice that after a while, you get tired of the same things -- whether foods, TV shows, work responsibilities, or -- dare I say it -- people? Several people have asked me why this happens, so I thought it apropos to create a post that addresses this phenomenon. The more we're exposed to a given stimulus, the less satisfaction we derive from it over time. In psychology and economics, this is known as the law of diminishing marginal utility.  Here's the definition provided by BusinessDictionary.com: "The law of diminishing marginal utility is a psychological generalization that the perceived value of, or satisfaction gained from, a good to a consumer declines with each additional unit consumed or acquired." In other words, you can only eat so many Big Macs or watch the same movie so many times before you become completely sick -- which is termed disutility.  In advertising, wearout is defined as the declining effectiveness of a commercial or campaign ...

Recently, my wife and I bought a decorative frame we hung up on my kitchen wall. It reads as follows: "Do more of what makes you happy." I couldn't agree more. That's why I amble to the kitchen to read the quote anytime I feel bored or sad. As long as what you love doing isn't hurting anyone or breaking the law, you should indulge in whatever hobbies or activities tickle your fancy. Mine are simple: I love writing, reading, and learning. A day doesn't go by where I don't seek knowledge on history and psychology, the two subjects about which I'm most passionate. If you find those areas of interest dull, you're not alone. Many people tell me that history puts them to sleep. But that's the beauty of life -- we all have different passions, and we should spend our finite time on this earth exploring and enjoying them as much as possible . I might not have the slightest interest in your hobbies, but I fully appreciate a person throwing th...

There's a well-known adage that variety is the spice of life. This is far from a tired cliché; it's the truth. The only way to ensure that our lives don't get stuck in a repetitive rut is to keep them fresh and exciting. We do this by infusing them with new experiences. That can be anything from traveling the world to taking a different route to and from work each day. We are creatures of habit who tend to get stuck in our comfort zone, conditioning us to live each day in "rinse and repeat" fashion. While a little routine is to be expected, we shouldn't feel as if each day is a rehash of the prior one. If, at the end of the week, you can't remember a single thing that distinguished one day of that week from the other -- if the entire week seems like a big blur -- that's a telltale sign you may need to spruce things up a bit. And no one says injecting some spontaneity into your life has to be expensive. The key is to do a few little things ...

If you found yourself chasing after friends or love interests last year who didn't put as much time and effort into your relationship as you, don't let this habit carry over into the new year. End it now! There's no reason why you should pine for someone's attention or company when your own should be sufficient. Sure, we all like to be in a relationship and have at least a couple of friends we can call and meet up when we're bored or lonely. But here's a key piece of information I'd like you to embed firmly in your mind: Friends and partners enhance our lives, not complete them.  You should never feel that your life is incomplete without friends, a partner, children, and so on. After all, we came into this world alone, and will be leaving it in similar fashion. Studies find that the more people enjoy their own company, the happier they are with their lives and the higher their self-esteem and self-worth. I'm not suggesting that you shouldn...

I've had several people -- within the last month, actually -- tell me that being somewhere in utter silence makes them uneasy. It doesn't matter whether they're lying in bed, sitting in their car, or studying in the library. Some people can't stand complete silence, and it isn't long before they feel compelled to reach for their phone, a TV remote, or their cell phone to break the quietness. Frankly, this has me rather baffled to say the least. After being assaulted by the chatter of nosy co-workers all day at work, driving home with the radio off offers a welcome reprieve, as does holing up in a quiet room at home. Here are a few reasons people give for their aversion to overly quiet environments: They "hate to hear themselves think" When it's too quiet, they feel lonely They get bored They're just not used to that much silence Personally, being in a quiet setting helps me regain my energy. Too much noise and commotion stress me out, ...

When we fall into a routine, we can become overly complacent. This works well for some people, but not so much for others. Forward-looking and always in search of ways to liven up my career and marriage, I fall within the latter group. I accept routine up to a point, but eventually it begins to grate on me a bit. I like to feel as though I can look forward to something bigger and better. In the context of my marriage, this means doing new, spontaneous things with my wife -- say, visiting a particular destination for the first time, trying out different foods and restaurants, and partaking in new outdoor activities. Many people say that once the wedding and honeymoon are over with and people finally have to live like a married couple, it's not all peaches and cream. Well, I can attest to that. Marriages, just like relationships, take a lot of work. Once the novelty of a relationship wears off, people need to put in a considerable degree of effort to keep things fun and interes...

In this day and age of such rapid technological change, anyone who still utters the words "I'm bored" deserves, at the very least, a slap on the wrists. I think our ancestors would be turning in their graves at such a pronouncement considering all that technology has made possible. In their lifetime, all they could really look forward to were leisurely pursuits like reading and writing (my personal favorite even now), knitting, and storytelling. Our generation, on the other hand, has the internet, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google, Apple, Amazon -- you name it. Sometimes we definitely take what we have for granted. Back in colonial times, people had to ride a horse for days of not weeks just to reach another city -- let alone a different state. There's so much we can do nowadays, whether or not we avail of the latest technology. Charities could always use another pair of hands. Cities everywhere are teeming with parks, gyms, shopping centers, movie theater ...

In this day and age -- where technology reigns supreme and people have a dizzying array of options at their disposal when it comes to leisure and entertainment -- people still complain of being bored. This is just mind boggling! Can you imagine what people who lived in colonial times -- when the George Washingtons and Thomas Jeffersons of the world made front page news -- would be saying? These people had little else to look forward to but reading, writing, farming, and storytelling. They corresponded by mail and had to wait months for a response. They'd probably give their right arms to be able to live in this era of smart phones, tablets, Facebook, and Amazon shopping. It's amazing that people could still feel bored when there's so much to do thanks to technology, including: Web surfing and shopping Netflix, Amazon Prime, and other streaming services Reading, whether the conventional way or using devices like the Kindle Interacting with friends via text or soc...