The dictionary defines a control freak as "a person who feels an obsessive need to exercise control over themselves and others and to take command of any situation." Whether at work or in our own love life, we've all encountered someone who fits this description to a tee. Maybe it's the surly supervisor who puts her nose in even the most minute things, like how many Post-It Notes the department is going through weekly.  Then there's the controlling partner who has to know where you are at all hours of the day.  The common thread here is that these individuals:  Treat you as if you were a child Seem suspicious of your every move Are possessive Are insecure  Make you feel as though you can't be trusted  So why are these folks this difficult? Yes, it could be that it's in their nature, where their need for self-control spills into their relationships. But more often than not, someone in their past caused them to be this way, whether it was an employee they ca...

The success of a relationship depends on both partners supporting and protecting each other's freedom.  Although your lives are intertwined, both of you should retain your individuality, your sense of self. Your identity should not become all wrapped up in the other person. You aren't just a boyfriend or husband. You're your own person -- one with a unique set of values, passions, and attitudes.  While having commonalities enhances the relationship, it's okay -- suggested, even -- to have disparate interests, which can better the relationship in its own right.   Maybe John loves to read and Becky would rather binge on Netflix. Perhaps Tony is a big sports buff while Susan is big on museums and cultural events.  That way, the two of you can always learn something from one another and have something different to contribute to the conversation. And chances are that over time, you one of his/her hobbies may actually grow on you.  To give you an example, my wife...

As Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once warned, "Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner." Indeed, some people care so deeply about others' opinions of them that they allow those individuals to dictate the very decisions they make in their own lives -- whether it affects their love life, career, and so forth. For example, some people will not date a person unless they get the green light from their friends. Others will refrain from dressing a certain way, driving a specific car, or eating particular foods for fear that relatives will not approve. Worrying over what people say or think about you will only trap you mentally and emotionally, preventing you from reaching your full potential and living life to the fullest. And here's the truth: In most cases, these people aren't thinking of us at all! And even if they are, who's to say it isn't something positive? Perhaps they dig your new glasses even though you're c...

Society makes singlehood out to be something weird or unfortunate -- something that needs to be remedied. When some people find out a person is in their 40s and 50s and still single, they tend to give the individual awkward looks and assume something must be wrong with them. Well, guess what? Studies show that many people are single and loving it. When asked why they're content being single, many say they relish being free and unshackled. They like not having to depend on or run decisions -- whether financial or otherwise -- by a partner. They love doing whatever they want, whenever they want, with no one to get in their way. Want to wake up at noon? No problem. Leave for Hawaii on a whim? No one's stopping you. And when they're asked whether they do get lonely sometimes, they say they're able to avoid such feelings by tapping into their wide network of friends and relatives. Many of these folks have been burned in the past by an ex and refuse to give thei...

If there's one thing that inhibits happiness and reaching one's full potential, it's a lack of freedom to make one's own decisions . It's no surprise that most of us eagerly await our 18th birthday, when we're finally old enough to hit up clubs, smoke, and vote. It's also the age most of us kiss our parents goodbye and embark on our college journey. Can you imagine living with your parents your whole life? You'd never have the opportunity to make your own decisions, having to submit to the orders and whims of those whose roof you live under. Needless to say, that kind of arrangement would wear thin on you quickly. The same applies to relationships. If you're with someone who orders your food for you at restaurants without letting you get in a word edgewise, your freedom is being trampled on. We've all heard horror stories of domineering partners who rob their significant other of their voice in the relationship. From decorating the home t...

If you could relive any phase of your life, what would it be? For me, it would be my college years, hands down, and many of my friends, relatives, and co-workers echo that very sentiment. And it's not because I miss drunken fraternity parties or on-campus events. For starters, I don't drink and I was never in a fraternity. Because I was a commuter student, I never actually lived on campus and thus didn't have the quintessential college experience. Still, I loved college because the academic atmosphere suited me. I always excelled in school (thanks largely to my mom, who instilled in me a passion for learning) and felt completely in my element. Even though I got a part-time job during my junior year, I still considered school my top priority. Indeed, I was one those reviled nerds who enjoyed reading voraciously and writing papers. One of the best aspects of college -- it's probably the one I miss the most -- was the flexibility it afforded me. When you're i...

Many people say they wish they could go back to being a kid again. After all, what is there to worry about during those years other than homework and video games, right? I much prefer being an adult to being a child, though. Here are a few reasons why: No more childhood teasing or peer pressure . Though it can be argued that some people still behave like kids in workplace, kids tend to be a lot meaner and more immature. At work, people know better than to make complete fools of themselves, as their jobs are on the line. And it's fair to say the chances of being bullied for your lunch money are pretty much nil. There's nothing like freedom . You are free to do as you wish -- drink, date whoever you want, watch whatever shows tickle your fancy, and so on. Having no one tell you what to do anymore (outside of work) is a fantastic feeling. I also like being able to learn for learning's sake -- and not because a teacher tells me to do it. Whether you're interested in ...

I've come a long way since graduating from college: I landed a good job, bought a new car and condo, married the love of my life, and have traveled considerably. Why is it, then, that I can't help but reminisce -- fondly, I might add -- about the days when I was a broke college student? After giving this some serious thought, I arrived at a possible answer. It isn't so much that life gets more dull as you get older. What it becomes is more predictable, and you no longer have the flexibility to do the things you did in your 20s. Many of us spend the first couple of years of our college experience exploring which career paths we want to pursue. I myself switched majors once, and I know several people who did so multiple times. Once we've pinned down a major, we usually have choice of activities we can partake in to enhance what we learn in the classroom -- from extracurricular activities to opportunities to travel abroad. Then comes the uncertainty surrounding...

Our high school/college days seem well behind us, don't they? There are certainly things most us might miss about that time of our lives, including: Having a busier social life than we do now: People go in different directions after high school, causing us to lose contact with many of our closest friends. And though we may be able to keep in touch with a few, things are never quite the same. Proximity plays a huge role when it comes to friendships. It was so much easier to maintain them when you knew you'd see your buddies every day in gym class or Home Ec. Once you graduate from college and have bills, work, and other priorities to worry about, an active social life no longer takes precedence. Once we hit our 30s and 40s, we can consider ourselves lucky if we have three people we can call true friends. Being closer to family members: For most of us, our high school years comprise the last stretch in which we'll ever live at home with our parents. While living at ho...

Society puts a great deal of pressure on people -- namely women -- to have children. However, we live in a time, with so many birth control options readily available, when people can carefully contemplate such a life-altering commitment. Based on what I've read online and what certain people have told me, introverts and people who place a premium on their free time seem less likely to want to take the leap. I also know this to be true because I myself am one. Here are just a couple of reasons why introverts may be less apt to have children: They value their alone time to read, write, watch documentaries, or pursue other solitary activities They live in their heads Having kids integrates parents more into society (birthday parties, PTA meetings, etc.), which is not good news for introverts who prefer less social interaction Being a parent forces you to be "on" all the time, which can be draining, especially when your kid happens to be loud and unruly Less sleep ...