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The success of a relationship hinges on this

Woman posing

The success of a relationship depends on both partners supporting and protecting each other's freedom. 

Although your lives are intertwined, both of you should retain your individuality, your sense of self.

Your identity should not become all wrapped up in the other person. You aren't just a boyfriend or husband. You're your own person -- one with a unique set of values, passions, and attitudes. 

While having commonalities enhances the relationship, it's okay -- suggested, even -- to have disparate interests, which can better the relationship in its own right.  

Maybe John loves to read and Becky would rather binge on Netflix. Perhaps Tony is a big sports buff while Susan is big on museums and cultural events. 

That way, the two of you can always learn something from one another and have something different to contribute to the conversation. And chances are that over time, you one of his/her hobbies may actually grow on you. 

To give you an example, my wife has been glued to the TV the last week or two watching the Olympics. While the games don't interest me, she tells me every now and then about new developments concerning certain participants, whether it's that they threw in the towel due to intense pressure or they refuse to conform to the dress code. 

So while I might not necessarily sit down and watch swimmers or gymnasts go at it, I'm always game for final outcomes and news tidbits. 

Meanwhile, she isn't into watching baseball  with me at home, but enjoys attending games in person -- where I share with her my knowledge on the home team and, more broadly, the sport itself. 

Frankly, most of us would concede that a partner who thinks like us, acts like we do, and shares all of the same hobbies would probably bore us after a while. 

Common interests are great, but a little diversity in style and opinion can go a long way toward keeping the flame lit. 

Without a doubt, a partner's freedom to think and act in ways that represent their true selves should never be impinged upon. 

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