How to Read People

Remember that adage dating back to the 1800s that says, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"? I've wondered of late whether it was a toxic individual who came up with it.  If there's one thing toxic people show little to no remorse over, it's the impact their words or actions have on you. You'll notice how toxic people are likely to say vacuous things like: “I’m sorry you felt that way.” “I didn’t mean it like that.” “That’s not what I intended.” Do you notice what's missing?  They may vaguely acknowledge your feelings and the misunderstanding, but they almost never acknowledge how their behavior changed you. They seldom say things like: “I see how this made you doubt yourself.” “I can tell how this hurt your confidence.” “I see how this changed how safe you feel around me.” Because admitting impact means admitting responsibility, not just regret. And the last thing toxic people want to do is to get any flak for the effect th...

If there's something we could all agree on, it's that there is always going to be something about every individual in our life -- from our partner to our friends to our coworkers -- that we don't necessarily like. There's always going to be a trait, tendency, or quirk that gets under our skin and that we would probably do away with if given the choice. Maybe they're a tad cheap. Perhaps they're a bit stuck-up. They could very well be messy, aloof, or prone to lying. Hopefully, we are able to turn a blind eye to these perceived shortcomings. But for those things that aren't as easy to gloss over, it's up to us to decide what we're willing or not willing to tolerate. The key question becomes: At what point does something we perceive as a character flaw in another person become too much to handle? Let's be fair, though. It isn't as if we're perfect either. So if we decide to cut ties with someone because of, say, their substa...