Though they sound similar enough, being desired and being needed aren't one and the same.  Here are a few examples that convey desire: "I love it when you wear that outfit." "Going to the beach is always more fun when you join me." "I wish you were here cuddling with me and keeping me warm." Your charm and intellect drive me crazy." Now, let's look at a couple of examples that hint at needing someone: "My life stinks when you're not here."  "I don't feel whole unless you're around." "I need you to lift me up." "I can always count on you to fix my problems." Sidenote: By "needing" someone, I'm not talking about, say, having them help you walk or give you food after a major surgery. I mean it more generally, in the context of a person's emotional well-being.  So, going back to the bullet points outlined above, what do you notice distinguishes one set from the other? The first ...

There's a scene in the movie "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" where Michael Douglas' character, ostensibly a philandering playboy type, tells his nephew that whoever cares least in a relationship has all the power. I replayed this line in my head for days, trying to assess whether it holds water as far as the relationships I've had in my own life. Here's what I've concluded: While I think it's preposterous to assume that you can gain the upper hand by deliberately being indifferent and standoffish, it is true that you can lose points by being overly nice and accommodating -- a doormat, if you will. If you let your partner step all over you and fail to stand up for yourself, you're letting him take advantage of and flat-out disrespect you. Once this becomes the norm, then yes, you have basically ceded all the power in the relationship to your partner. Like everything else in life, moderation works best. You don't have to shower your partne...