Your life is good. You have a loving partner, great home, wonderful kids, and decent-paying job. You're in good health, and your finances in order. But something always feels missing -- a void you can never quite seem to fill. And this makes for a life you perceive as not entirely fulfilling.  It may very well be that you have what I like to call Bigger Better Syndrome, or BBS. As you can probably guess, it means always being on the hunt for something bigger or better.  That could be the latest iPhone, a new car every year, or a different job. Maybe you just had a kid and are already thinking of the next one, or the condo you purchased recently is no longer cutting it.  You see the grass as always potentially greener on the other side. You become deeply invested in something, but once you acquire or succeed at it, you're on to your next conquest. It's as if you live more in the future than in the present.  Just why do we do this? Seeking others' approval Keeping up w...

When we're in a happy mood -- whether because we nabbed a promotion or landed a date with someone we've had our eye on -- we don't hesitate to express our emotions. We might smile, laugh, cheer, post a buoyant message on social media, or treat your friends to celebratory drinks. But things play out quite differently when we're going through a rough patch in our lives. We might instead hide our emotions -- sadness, anger, jealousy -- because we don't want to worry others or compel them to probe. As a result, we might turn down invitations to attend parties, call it a night unusually early, and shelve the kinds of things we look forward to when we're in better spirits, like hobbies.  There's nothing wrong with playing your cards close to your chest. In particular, I discourage anyone from bringing your feelings to light on social media unless you've altered your settings so that only those closest to you -- the ones you genuinely trust -- see those posts. ...

If you're like me, you've noticed many of your Facebook friends (or acquaintances, or people you've known since kindergarten but seldom talk to, or those who might be friends of friends of friends) fleeing the platform like it's no one's business.  But why the exodus?  It's quite simple: People have grown tired of the same old same old.  Many would concede there are benefits to logging on every so often -- from catching timely news to distracting oneself with trending memes or videos of the week. But being barraged with baby pictures and vacation photos for days on end becomes a little tough to stomach after a while.  Granted, some people mean no harm in sharing these special moments with others. It's their way of conveying to the world that they're making the most of their lives and are grateful for the things and people that enrich them. We should try our best to be happy for them, even if we may harbor a smidgen of concealed envy.  However, people und...

. Introverts like me feel like we've been prepared for an event like the coronavirus virtually our entire lives. Under normal circumstances, we consciously seek out solitude in order to clear our minds and recharge our batteries -- especially after dealing with people for hours on end. Now, alone time has been thrust upon us. It's as if social distancing were tailor-made for introverts the world over. While extroverts, who thrive on social interaction, might regard having to stay at home for weeks or months as an unwelcome disruption in their lives, introverts are receiving it with open arms. We thrive on written communication. We relish alone time. We thrill at the opportunity to enjoy solitary pursuits. That's not to suggest we're misanthropes who loathe people and would gladly barricade ourselves in our homes if given the opportunity. We enjoy social interaction -- just in smaller doses, and with fewer people. In fact, introverts are known to become q...

The last few weeks have felt surreal, haven't they? I've never experienced anything like this Coronavirus pandemic in my life, and I'm sure many of you second that sentiment. While the most important thing we can do right now is keep ourselves and our families safe and healthy, many are already starting to chafe of cabin fever. They complain of feeling isolated and disconnected from the world in a way they never have before. Chances are, you've already worked from home for a few days. Such an arrangement has its share of pros and cons. Sure, you can work in your undees, spend more time with family, and not have to grapple with traffic. But some people just aren't as self-motivated as others, and without a boss a few feet away to keep them focused on their work, they become easily distracted -- whether by their kids clamoring to play, the cat meowing for food, or the temptation to watch The Price is Right. And while we can still do takeout and deliver...

My readers often ask me why so many people out there are frenetically searching for love. Perhaps you have a friend, relative, or co-worker who appears preoccupied with finding "the one." My pointed response is that the media -- and that includes social media -- plays an integral role. From dating apps like Tinder and Facebook posts about people professing their love for their partner to stories in the news centering on blissful marriages and a seemingly endless stream of songs about break-ups, society promulgates the following message: Being with someone is a good thing. Being single is not. If you don't have anyone in your life, it just isn't whole. Something is missing, and you'll only be able to be happy and fill the void once you pair up. This, of course, is silly. I have a slew of readers who count themselves among the happily single. They don't feel empty or broken because they don't have a partner. On the contrary: Many are reliev...

Instead of striving to be superior to other people, we should aim to be superior to our previous selves. It can be easy to assume, judging from the content people post on social media, that they lead perfect lives. As we sift through photos of Facebook friends sunbathing in the Caribbean, sharing cheesecake at a 5-star restaurant with a partner, or driving away in a souped up Mercedes Benz, we may find ourselves green with envy. But comparing ourselves to others -- whether our coworkers, our neighbors, or are friends -- is an exercise in futility. Really, people are not some monolithic group. We have different tastes and interests, goals and fears, struggles and challenges. While it's good to look up to others and admire what they've accomplished, there's no sense in wishing for the lives they have. After all, they may be doing a good job at masking the fact that their lives leave a lot to be desired. They may very well be having health, money, or marital problems...

According to research conducted at Georgetown University, social media tends to leave people lonelier and more depressed. You're probably thinking it all sounds, well, counterintuitive. After all, we all enjoy receiving likes and compliments on sites like Facebook, so it would seem like social media should improve one's mood and bolster self-esteem. Likes and comments do in fact promote small rushes of dopamine. But the study revealed that these tiny boosts don't come anywhere close to compensating for the large loss experienced by no longer spending real-world time with the person in question. The researchers note that smartphones have a way of cultivating behavioral addictions. People may not necessarily wish to spend so much time online, but between flashy games, humorous memes, and content posted by our buddies, we become inextricably sucked in -- often resulting in physical, mental, and spiritual exhaustion. Those who embrace what researchers have dubbe...

Just the other day, I came across the following quote: "Make sure everyone in your 'boat' is rowing and not drilling holes when you're not looking." In other words, know your circle. Familiarize yourself with the company you keep. Not every person who smiles at you and tells you nice things is your friend -- let alone someone in whom you should confide your biggest secrets. As I've stated in recent posts, some people are masterful at faking it. They're pretenders. It's not always easy to distinguish genuine people from fakers, but one of the telltale signs is when their actions don't seem to mirror their words. For example, in the workplace they may claim to be working hard, but that might not jell with the fact they're always trying to leave early or dump their work on subordinates. Then there are those friends who say they care about you, but never seem to spare a moment to call you or reply to your texts. Again, when what peo...

According to a recent survey conducted by health insurance firm Cigna, social media can in fact make us lonely. It all depends on how engaged one is on such platforms. If you're passively using it -- say, scrolling News Feeds and mindlessly checking out what people are commenting on each other's posts -- it could very well lead to negative outcomes like depression and loneliness. But if you're considerably more active -- reaching out and connecting to people to facilitate eventual face-to-face interactions -- social media can be beneficial. The findings held across all age groups. What's more, respondents who said they have more in-person interactions on a daily basis reported being less lonely. Further, the survey unearthed that working too much or too little is also associated with the experience of loneliness. There's no question that people should work in-person interactions into their schedule. While social media has made it easier to keep in to...

Studies show that our criteria for measuring success is markedly different now than it was several years ago. In the past, we typically perceived someone as successful if they boasted possessions that signaled wealth (e.g., car, big house, fancy watch) and appeared to have loads of free time on their hands. We assumed it meant that their net worth was such that they had no real need to work hard. In our minds, they likely spent more time sunbathing in the Caribbean than churning out reports in the office. However, the benchmarks we use to measure success have evolved over time -- not so much when it comes to material possessions, but in terms of overall lifestyle and work ethic. Studies suggest that we are now more likely to perceive someone as being successful if they have little to no time available for leisurely pursuits due to the many responsibilities they shoulder. For example, let's say Joe works 60 hours a week, has kids, and volunteers at a local non-profit. He h...

How many letters do you handwrite and mail in a year? If you're like most people, the answer is probably zero. Email, texting, and social media have essentially rendered the practice of writing letters by hand obsolete. Despite their being old school, a person might still write one when they want to add a personal touch that doesn't carry over digitally  -- say, a child writing to his pen pal, a foreign exchange student reaching out to family from the other side of the world, or a hopeless romantic who wishes to spill his guts via pen and paper. Can you guess how many letters Thomas Jefferson, the third president of the United States, wrote in his lifetime? Mind you, there was no Yahoo, Facebook, or Twitter in the 1700s and 1800s. Even the telephone wasn't invented until 1876, and Jefferson died in 1826. That means people in Jefferson's time had to make do with communicating through correspondence. And, evidently, Jefferson was nothing short of a pro. He...

I recently saw a graphic posted on Facebook with the following one-liner: "Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went." I found it cleverly drives home the point that many people have become far too lazy to check their IMs and text messages for punctuation and grammar before sending them off. We all have at least one friend or relative who does this, and maybe we're guilty of it ourselves at times. As a writer/editor/proofreader by trade, my writing is usually impeccable. If I happen to notice a misspelling on my part after the text was sent, I'm quick to write the word correctly with an asterisk next to it, letting the recipient know it was done accidentally. I realize that this is to be expected from someone who writes for a living, and that others may not be such sticklers for grammar and spelling when having casual conversations with friends and family. But I just can't help it when people are too sloppy, peppering the conversation w...

Could you imagine living without a cell phone? I'm sure most of us couldn't, and it would take us a long time to grow accustomed to not carrying one around. Many people use their cell phones even in the bathroom and while at the dinner table. It's becoming an obsession unlike any other I've witnessed. Some of us would even admit to using it while driving, which is an awfully dangerous habit we ought to curb. From texting, emails and social media to watching YouTube videos, taking pictures, listening to music on Pandora, and using GPS, a smartphone is basically a mini-computer in the palm of our hands. One could easily make the case that it's the ultimate boredom buster, whether they're at work, stuck in jury duty, or listening to a dull lecture at school. Some kids are getting cell phones even before they hit their teens! Beyond that, there's no question they've redefined convenience. Buying something on Amazon or eBay at the push of a bu...

If you're one of those people who strives to impress other people at every turn, I'm here to tell you one thing: you should be trying to impress y ourself  instead. Some of you may ask, "What does impressing yourself even mean?" In a nutshell, it means growing as a person. Impressing yourself signifies achieving big goals -- succeeding at things even you never thought possible. For example, maybe you're convinced you can't lose 30 pounds in two months or read two voluminous books in a single month, but through hard work and commitment, you prove yourself wrong. There's no better feeling in the world, especially when other people said you couldn't do it. While "I told you so" moments can be empowering, here's the problem with trying to impress other people:cic You'll always fall short of someone's expectations. What's more, people always have something to criticize. You could have lost more weight. You spend way t...

One of my favorite memes on the internet includes a picture of Abraham Lincoln alongside this quote attributed to him: "Don't believe everything you read on the internet just because there's a picture with a quote next to it." - Abraham L incoln What's funny is that the internet wasn't invented until more than a hundred years after Lincoln's death, so there's no possible way the 16th president could have said the above. In other words, even a quote about the perils of reading too much into something you read on the internet can itself be misattributed and thus prove sketchy.  I've lost count of the times I've come across news of a dubious nature on Facebook. For example, every so often a Facebook friend posts an article about a celebrity death that later turns out to be a hoax. Just the other day, a media company I'm following on Facebook posted an article alleging President Obama said he'd refuse to allow Donald Trump be...

Have you noticed the latest trend in the world of shopping and commerce? A few years ago, companies were encouraging us to like them on Facebook or follow them on Twitter. (They still do today, though not as often given that avid internet users know by now that virtually every business has jumped on the social media bandwagon.) Now, they're pushing us to review them on sites like Yelp. But, as the saying goes, they ought to be careful what they wish for. I have had unpleasant experiences at various restaurants and retail establishments in the past year, and I've had no qualms about airing these sentiments on said websites. In fact, many consumers are more inclined to rate and review a company following a bad experience than a favorable one. A preponderance of either negative or positive reviews, however, should raise red flags. For example, a disproportionate number of 5-star reviews coming from accounts with only one or two reviews to their name means something i...

Back in the old days, people would communicate exclusively via written letters that often took weeks, if not months, to arrive. While letters are still used today -- mostly by companies wanting us to sign up for credit cards or enroll in some form of membership with them -- it's become somewhat outdated as far as communications between friends and family are concerned. And the same can be said for making phone calls. That's thanks largely to the advent and ubiquity of texting and social media. If you're like me, you probably receive congratulations for promotions and other achievements -- not to mention holiday and birthday wishes, condolences, and so forth -via text or Facebook, even from your closest friends. Sure, we all know a couple of people who might still call or pay a visit -- the "old school" set -- but it's become increasingly rare. There's no question that texting and social media are convenient (and fairly cheap) methods of staying...

Most people find it a tall order to be without internet for a day, let alone an entire week. We have a hard time conceiving that, at one point, people actually functioned in this world without the aid of smart phones, tablets, and laptops. Just picture yourself having to get through a full week sans internet. You'd have to dust off the old phone book to look up restaurants and other establishments in the area.  With no Netflix, you'd have no choice but to watch movies and shows via DVD or cassette.  With no YouTube, you can only hope that whatever music video or show clip you'd like to watch pops up somewhere while you're surfing the TV channels.  You wouldn't be able to download music to your phone or iPod, forcing you to tune in to the radio. If you pay your bills online, you'd have to resort to traditional payment methods like check, money order, or paying by phone.  Need to research anything for school, work, or leisure? Your best bet would be...

There are certainly many perks to using our smart phones. How convenient is it to be able to check the weather, our email, or our home (remotely via our home security app) through these small yet highly sophisticated devices while on the go? However, cell phone use has infiltrated our lives in a way most of the phone manufacturers probably never imagined. We take the phones with us to the bathroom, use them while eating dinner and conversing with people and -- worst of all -- while driving. Cell phones have made our lives easier in myriad ways while making society far more impersonal. These days, wishing people a Happy Birthday via Facebook has supplanted the more traditional methods of calling by phone or sending someone a card in the mail. But when phones become so intrusive as to disrupt family time, that's when you know we've taken our usage of them to a whole new level. My wife often uses her while we're watching movies in the living room, resulting in my admon...