It can be easy to assume, judging from the content people post on social media, that they lead perfect lives. As we sift through photos of Facebook friends sunbathing in the Caribbean, sharing cheesecake at a 5-star restaurant with a partner, or driving away in a souped up Mercedes Benz, we may find ourselves green with envy.
But comparing ourselves to others -- whether our coworkers, our neighbors, or are friends -- is an exercise in futility.
Really, people are not some monolithic group. We have different tastes and interests, goals and fears, struggles and challenges.
While it's good to look up to others and admire what they've accomplished, there's no sense in wishing for the lives they have. After all, they may be doing a good job at masking the fact that their lives leave a lot to be desired. They may very well be having health, money, or marital problems. They may feel that they have yet to achieve many of the goals they've set for themselves.
Rather than drawing comparisons to those around you, compare yourself to the person you were before -- whether six months ago, a year ago, or even five years ago.
You're bound to come up with things you've achieved in that span that you can take immense pride in.
Maybe you scored at promotion at work, lost 50 pounds, bought a new place, or finally got that catering business off the ground.
And the good thing is that you can continue working toward new goals as you go along. It's all about cultivating the best version of ourselves possible.
Most important, happiness comes only from within ourselves.
By looking outside yourself for fulfillment -- in this case, searching for it in the context of what others are doing or have done -- you will always come up empty.
Others' dreams are not your own. No one is traveling down the same life path you are.
Would you still want to be vacationing like your rich neighbor if it meant you had to have cancer like they do? Would you want their VP job if it meant you had to work 80 hour weeks, cutting time you'd spend with your family?
Society tells us that our life missions must include graduating from college, getting married, making tons of money, having two or more kids, owning a big house with picket fence, and so forth.
But the question we must ask ourselves is whether this is what we want for ourselves.
No two individuals want exactly the same things in life, and we should never feel pressured into conforming to societal expectations.
No one is better than anyone else. But we are all different from every other person, and that's something to embrace completely. Uniqueness is empowering.
Before yearning for someone else's life, it's instructive to put things into perspective. We may realize that we don't really have it as bad we thought and are living exactly the type of live we desire.
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