Ever been in a relationship where you or your partner weren't wholly invested? I can bet that the relationship probably didn't survive.   Though difficult to discuss at times, the reasons why the partner isn't engaged should be openly communicated. Keeping those feelings bottled up will only breed further bitterness and animosity.  Otherwise, finger pointing and passing blaming will invariably ensue, potentially putting the relationship in serious trouble.  For a relationship to survive -- let alone thrive --it's either all hands on deck, or you can kiss the relationship goodbye.  It goes without saying that relationships are no walk in the park. In the worst cases, they can be emotionally draining, eating away at our happiness and well-being. And when a partner isn't fully committed, it isn't that hard to tell.  They withhold affection, are often combative, and prioritize their needs and wants over their partner's at every turn. When the other partner's...

Have you ever sensed -- based on the way someone treats or talks about you -- that they're green with envy? You're not alone. Here's what I believe envy to be, even though it differs slightly from the definition found in the dictionary. Envy is a veiled form of admiration.  It's when someone realizes you possess something -- whether it be a physical object or intangible attribute -- that they perceive as lacking in their own life. Maybe they wish they had a position as high up the corporate ladder as yours, a partner as attractive as your spouse, or a temperament to match your calm and collected demeanor. Sadly, these people don't realize we all face unenviable battles of some kind -- from personal illnesses to financial hardship -- about which we may remain tight-lipped. Why would you envy someone else anyway? Just because they have a lot of money, for example, doesn't mean they're truly happy beneath the surface. If they have to work...

The best way to get back at someone is not by inflicting harm on them -- whether physical, mental, or emotional pain. It's not by wishing that something bad were to happen to them. It's not by stealing from, cheating on, lying to, or publicly embarrassing them. All of these methods are cold, calculated, utterly pointless and, quite frankly, callow. Two wrongs don't make a right. By seeking retribution, you stoop to the other person's level. The best way to get back at someone is by demonstrating to them that your life is richer and more fulfilling without them in it.  In other words, you show that making the most of your life -- by indulging your hobbies and spending time with people you love -- doesn't have to involve him or her. Whether the person dumped you, cheated on you, stabbed you in the back, or did something else to betray your trust, rest assured that someday, somebody will do the same to them. It is then they'll realize how you must h...

There's no sense in regretting prior relationships that ended badly. What's done is done. Sure, in an ideal world, we would all see our relationships end amicably, with our exes becoming trustworthy friends. But parting on such favorable terms seldom happens. After a relationship goes down the toilet, people tend to have thoughts along the lines of: "I wasted so much time on that guy." "I knew Sue wasn't right for me. I could have been with Joan all this time." "It was a mistake to have ever even met Tim." This kind of thinking is conducive only to anger and bitterness. You won't resolve anything by trying to rationalize the reasons why things went awry.  And even checking off all the things you did right and your partner did wrong won't repair the relationship. There are some special circumstances where a person might have cause for loathing their ex and wishing they'd never crossed paths (e.g., he or she was ...

How many times have you allowed someone's off-color remarks affect your mood? Maybe it's a tasteless remark they made about your weight, or an insensitive comment regarding your job or wardrobe. Maybe they didn't mean for their remark to come across as rude or insensitive. Or, perhaps this individual has a habit of not saying things in a tactful manner. Whatever the circumstance, it's important not to let people get under your skin. You never really know what's going on in people's heads. They may very well be the type who tries to compensate for their own insecurities by pointing out others perceived shortcomings. Whether you're dealing with an obnoxious coworker or an acquaintance who has no filter, you can't let what they said eat away at you. Let it go! If you're not careful, you may find yourself dwelling on it for hours, inducing feelings of bitterness and tempting you to retort with a scathing remark of your own that you might ...

It goes without saying that people should never try to hurt others deliberately. Even if someone has hurt or deceived you first -- say, by spreading a rumor about you or cheating on you -- seeking retribution isn't going to make you feel better. If anything, you would be stooping down to their level, making the resentment you feel toward them fester longer. Instead, show you're above such pettiness by speaking privately with them and reaffirming your expectations. If they apologize for what they did, and you wish to salvage the relationship, make it clear to them that you will not carry on unless you're given the respect you deserve. If they do not apologize, or if you're simply at wit's end, make it clear that you want nothing to do with them anymore. (Walking away without declaring your intentions is also your prerogative.) If you want to convey that you're fed up with someone, indifference is far more effective than getting all worked up, as the l...

There are no regrets in life -- only lessons learned. Regretting that which is now in the past -- and thus cannot be changed -- serves absolutely no purpose but to make us feel dejected. Learn from your mistakes so that you're not doomed to repeat them. In that way, you're actually channeling all that negativity into something positive and constructive. Regrets, then, can help facilitate growth so long as we have the right mindset. Let's suppose you cheated on a wonderful man or woman -- a terrible mistake you refuse to forgive yourself for. If you already apologized to your ex and have pledged to remain faithful to future partners, what more can you really do? Move on, and if you've learned anything from your misstep, you'll know not to jeopardize a relationship ever again. The same reasoning applies to missed job opportunities, friendships gone awry, or any other situations that would have turned out much more favorably had you behaved differently. ...

If your gut tells you that you shouldn't do something, it's always best to listen to it. Unfortunately, many people engage in a slew of behaviors despite being conscious of the fact that they can lead to serious, often-damaging consequences. Some of these reckless acts include: Cheating on their partner Sleeping with someone you don't want to be intimate with  Stealing from others  Drinking more than they should  Taking illegal drugs  Becoming physically aggressive with others Let's delve into cheating for a moment.  There is absolutely no excuse in the world that could justify such an abhorrent betrayal of a partner's trust.  And if your partner cheats on you first, it doesn't give you license to go out and do the same. It's better to be the better person and walk away before becoming involved with someone else.  Payback doesn't solve anything. If anything, it heightens feelings of bitterness and animosity. What gets m...

When life has you feeling down on yourself -- whether it's because you're stressed at work or beset by problems in your marriage -- letting go is usually the first step toward getting things back on track. Here are some ways you can let go and infuse your life with positivity: Let go of what you thought should happen and live in what's happening. Let go of your grudges, for they will only cause the resentment and bitterness in you to fester. Let go of your notions of how people should think or behave in a given situation, for the higher you set your expectations of others, the more likely it is they'll fail to meet them. Let go of feelings of envy or jealousy you may feel toward those whom you perceive as more accomplished. Rather than compare yourself to others, compare yourself to the person you were six months ago or a year ago -- for that is a far better benchmark for measuring progress. Let go of the past. It's behind you now. All you can do is ta...