There is no question that online dating opens up a world of possibilities for single men and women that would otherwise not be available to them. But is it an avenue worth exploring? Let's run through the pros and cons.  The pros In a sense, by allowing you to specify what exactly you're looking for -- say, a lad who doesn't smoke, enjoys sports, and has sworn off marriage -- these sites take a lot of the pesky guesswork out of the dating grind. You can swap pictures and engage in phone/video chats prior to meeting in person, which can help you both assess compatibility.  Plus, it's much less nerve-racking to "approach" someone virtually than it is cold turkey at a loud nightclub where they might be surrounded by friends.  As with all else, there are drawbacks There are definite downsides to online dating. I know this from personal experience, as I met a few ladies in person back in the day whom I'd first stumbled upon via America Online. For those Gen Zer...

We all have experience making a gaffe or two on a first date. Maybe we've arrived late, accidentally tripped, hesitated when asked a personal question, or inadvertently burped. While these are all unintentional slips, some people make a far more damaging mistake -- one that precludes the possibility of a second date. If there's something that can send your date running for the hills in no time, it's moving too fast.  Here are just a few examples of ways that someone can overdo it on a first date: Getting touchy Trying to plant a kiss too quickly Mentioning meeting each other's friends and parents Discussing long-term plans, like becoming exclusive and getting married People have to remember that this is a first date! Take a deep breath, relax, and enjoy yourself without getting all wrapped up in the serious stuff so soon.  You will cross that bridge once you get there, provided that the two of you are compatible and wish to continue seeing eac...

People should like you for who you are rather than for who they'd like you to be. Maybe your partner wishes that you shared their love of travel, art museums, and classical music. Perhaps you have a friend who'd love for you to be into shooting ranges, ACC football, Fox News, and scubadiving like they are. While there's no harm in suggesting you be open to trying new activities, a line needs to be drawn somewhere. If you're constantly being pushed to do things you have little or no interest in, perhaps you and your friend or partner are less compatible than you thought. Maybe they're not as accepting of the "real you" as they seemed at one point, or they've only now gotten to know the real you and aren't impressed. And that's okay. If changing the way you are is the only way to placate the other person, the relationship just isn't meant to last. There are plenty of other people out there who share your interests and values. ...

You know it is time to pull the plug on a relationship when you've done everything conceivable to make your partner happy, but they fail to recognize your efforts and refuse to do their fair share. You've done everything imaginable to make the relationship work, but he or she continues to cheat, be lazy, take you for granted, or give you the cold shoulder. It's at this point you no longer feel guilty about walking away. In fact, doing so makes you feel liberated because it means you can finally pursue a relationship with someone who will invest the time and energy you do. A relationship that weighs you down -- one that leaves you feeling more dead than alive at the end of the day -- is no relationship at all. Rather, it is more like an albatross over your head that is inhibiting your growth. A good partner enhances our lives with traits that we may lack or that complement our own -- whether it's a great sense of humor, a flair for adventure, or a love of the a...

A while back, I came across a rather amusing quote: "Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit."  I don't know who the source of the comical quote is, but he or she was spot on. Love should never have to be forced. If one or both people in the relationship are forcing it, that raises a critical question: Why are they even together? Either the chemistry is off, one or both individuals has grown bored, or, worse yet, they've fallen out of love altogether. As I've noted in prior posts, once a couple passes the honeymoon stage, people's true colors emerge and the relationship begins to feel a little more like "work." Quirks about your partner that once seemed cute may begin to get on your nerves. As passion gradually gives way to complacency, partners may cease doing the little things that so endeared them to each other. You know you're with the right person when: You can be yourself around him or her You ...

Earlier today, I submitted a post, Why love at first sight is a myth , which argues that establishing a deep, long-lasting connection with someone goes beyond the purely physical. So let's assume that a woman -- we'll call her Martha -- is physically attracted to a man named Joe and clicks with him on a more personal level, leading her to think she's in love with him. Now, let's make the scenario even more intriguing by adding another potential suitor to the mix named Matt, and we'll presume Martha is sure her feelings for Matt are no less intense than those she has for Joe. Is it possible for Martha to be in love with Joe and Matt at the same time? These are the kinds of story lines that great plays and soap operas are made of, but the question is whether it's even feasible in real life. Here's my view: I think Martha can love Joe and Matt at the same time, but to varying degrees. And who's to say that she loves exactly the same things abo...

Contrary to popular opinion, opposites do not attract. Studies have proven that the reverse is true: the more two people are alike, the better the chemistry. That's not to say that people can't have dissimilarities. We should all have interests, values, and beliefs that distinguish us from our partner. A relationship in which both people are almost exactly alike leaves little to the imagination and is unlikely to sustain both partners' interest over the long haul. We should each bring something different to the relationship. There's nothing wrong with challenging and learning from one another. However, your interests and beliefs shouldn't diverge to the point where you're both arguing and trying to one-up each other constantly. There are simply some cases where saying it isn't a match made in heaven is an understatement: An atheist and a devout Christian A hardcore liberal and a staunch conservative  A chronic slob and an obsessive neat freak A p...

I think the primary reason why so many people want to believe they have a soulmate is because they wish to see their lives play out like a fairytale -- one in which they end up with their princess or prince charming. That might seem plausible when it comes to couples who meet as teenagers, get married, have kids, and live out the rest of their lives together. But how often does this really happen? After all, the divorce rate in the U.S. is somewhere around 50 percent, with some people -- including my boss --  remarrying two or more times. There isn't just one person in the whole world who we're compatible with enough to maintain a long-lasting relationship.  For all we know, there could be hundreds of would-be "soulmates" for us residing in the U.S., Canada, Europe, Latin America, and China. There's no way to meet all these people, so what do people do? They reason that whoever they end up with in a relationship must be their soulmate. But think about ho...