Can we fall for two people at the same time?

Earlier today, I submitted a post, Why love at first sight is a myth, which argues that establishing a deep, long-lasting connection with someone goes beyond the purely physical.

So let's assume that a woman -- we'll call her Martha -- is physically attracted to a man named Joe and clicks with him on a more personal level, leading her to think she's in love with him.

Now, let's make the scenario even more intriguing by adding another potential suitor to the mix named Matt, and we'll presume Martha is sure her feelings for Matt are no less intense than those she has for Joe.

Is it possible for Martha to be in love with Joe and Matt at the same time?

These are the kinds of story lines that great plays and soap operas are made of, but the question is whether it's even feasible in real life.

Here's my view:

I think Martha can love Joe and Matt at the same time, but to varying degrees. And who's to say that she loves exactly the same things about them?

Maybe Joe is smart, romantic, and artistic, while Matt has a great body, loves the same shows as Martha, and exudes a level of self-confidence unlike any other man she's ever met.

There will always be different attributes we value in different people, and love interests are no exception.

But the key questions to be asked are:

Whom do I see myself in a relationship with for the long haul?
Whom am I most compatible with?
Whom do I clash less with?
Whom would I be prouder introducing to my parents and friends?
Whose personality most closely mirrors mine?

It might be a close finish, but one person will usually edge out the other.

It's important to make a decision as soon as possible. You don't want any of these individuals to feel as though they're being strung along. You can't have your cake and eat it too -- we're talking about people's feelings here.

Once you've made your choice, you may experience some buyer's remorse over time. Maybe you'll gradually realize that you made the wrong decision. You never know -- the person you turned down might welcome you with open arms. But if he or she is already taken or no longer interested, you should respect the person's wishes and move on. Hopefully, the two of you can remain friends.

There's no reason to think that we can't be in love with two people at the same time. The extent of those feelings, however, depend on myriad factors. In most cases, something about one person will be a deal breaker, or close to it. Maybe he has money problems, doesn't want kids, or is a hardcore atheist. Or, there are certain qualities one person has that clearly outshine the other's, e.g., one of the guys volunteers at a hospital to help sick children.

It's up to you to decide which person would make a better partner. It all boils down to whom you can't see yourself living without.

Women vs. Men: Who likes to backstab more?

Whether it's on TV or in the workplace, the general consensus seems to be that women gossip, backstab, and stir up more conflict than men do. But, as with every other topic, I thought it only fair to put this so-called stereotype under the microscope. If you watch reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice, you'll notice it's the women who spend far more time bickering. While the men do at times become embroiled in tit for tat, it's the women who are portrayed as meaner and more hostile. In the workplace, I have noticed that women seem to gossip far more than their male counterparts. I haven't really seen any cases where a person blatantly backstabs the other, but I have caught both men and women in little white lies. If it is true that women are generally more into backstabbing and gossiping than men, why is this the case? I believe that it isn't fair to make a blanket statement like "all women play these games while all men keep to themselves and pre...

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

Men prefer to marry brunettes

Study after study shows that men prefer blondes as girlfriends or mistresses and brunettes as wives . It seems many men see brunettes as more trustworthy and loyal. What's more, even though participants claimed that blondes are better in bed, they feel brunettes are better kissers and more affectionate than blondes. I find these results to be rather interesting. In my high school and early college days, I actually had a preference for blondes myself -- that is, until I hooked up with my now-wife. From that point on, I deemed brunettes as more attractive and marriage material, probably because they reminded me of and more closely resembled her. I think we can blame Hollywood, shows like Baywatch, and Playboy for painting blondes as wild, big chested, promiscuous and loose. (Yes, I know that there are brunettes in Playboy, but they seem to be in the minority.) When someone tells a man to think of an attractive blonde, who do you think likely crosses his mind? More likely than...

How to Read People

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