If I asked you which would be easier to tolerate -- hunger or loneliness -- what would you say? Hopefully, none of you have ever suffered through a prolonged lack of food or social intimacy -- both terrible circumstances far too many people are grappling with in this pandemic.  But on the question of which is more corrosive to our mental health, studies suggest they're two sides of the same coin: People who are forced to be isolated crave social interactions similarly to the manner a famished individual longs for food.  After one day of total isolation, the sight of people having fun together activates the same brain region that lights up when someone who hasn't eaten all day sees a picture of a bowl of scrumptious spaghetti. This bolsters the argument that positive social interactions aren't simply good-to-haves, but a basic human need. And acute loneliness, for its part, is an adverse state that drives people to repair what is lacking, much like hunger.  In both cases, ...

Relationships can take us to the heights of passion and the depths of despair. There are days we look at our partner and ask ourselves how we got so lucky. Then there are occasions where we can't stand to be in their presence, if temporarily. Nevertheless, relationships entail taking the good with the bad. It doesn't mean you have to settle for less, or let the other person get away with everything. Nor does it mean expecting them to be flawless or of like mind in every way. Here are two musts in order for a relationship to be successful: 1. Appreciating each other's similarities.  Maybe you're both rabid football fans, hardcore comic book geeks, or the biggest Beatles fans anywhere. Or perhaps you're both optimistic, financially responsible, or averse to rollercoasters. There's no question that in order for the relationship to run smoothly, both partners should have some overlapping interests, fears, views, or all of the above. Otherwise, yo...

Stop what you're doing for a moment. Take a deep breath. Put a smile on your face. Tell yourself these words: "It's going to be okay." You've come too far in your life to give up. Whether you're healing from wounds of your past or stressing over the question marks in your future, remind yourself that true happiness lies in making the most of the present. Things will get better over time. If you're mired in relationship, health, or money struggles, rest assured that the worst storms often give way to much sunnier days. Never feel afraid to reach out -- whether to friends, family, a professional (or even to me) for a helping hand. I know that sometimes being positive is easier said than done. Just when we think we've come out of a hole, life seems to put us into a deeper one. But resigning ourselves to the opposite state of mind -- negativity -- will only serve to exacerbate the depression or anxiety we're already feeling. As long a...

Whether you're striving to fulfill a long-held dream or resolve a vexing problem, I'm here to tell you one thing: you can do it. There's really no way around it. You have no choice but to believe you're capable of doing it; otherwise, you won't get very far. Yankees great Yogi Berra once quipped, "It ain't over till it's over." What that means is that until you've thrown in the proverbial towel -- until you've given up -- you have a fighting chance at success. Instead of sitting around and serving up excuses for why you can't do something, try a different approach. With every unsuccessful attempt we gain more wisdom and experience, making us a bit more likely to triumph next time. Positive thinking attracts positive outcomes. However, success doesn't come without hard work, persistence, and sacrifice. It usually requires a serious investment of some resource -- whether time or money -- that we may not always be inclined to...

No matter our political affiliation, faith, career, hobbies, or overall outlook on life, we should strive our best to get along and accept each others' differences. The 2016 election demonstrated one glaring fact: the U.S. remains bitterly divided. It pains me to see friends, coworkers, and people on the street bickering over politics, the conversations at times devolving into all-out mudslinging reminiscent of what we saw on the campaign trail. When you find your conversation escalating into a heated argument over immigration, abortion, gay marriage, religion, or any other touchy subject, interject and say, "We'll agree to disagree and leave it at that." Then change the subject. There is enough conflict and resentment in the world as it is. The last thing we need is to engage in a battle of words with people in our lives who mean a lot to us. I'm all for a vigorous intellectual debate. But once talking turns into shouting and shouting turns into a verba...

Little do some of us know how powerful positive affirmations can be when it comes to breaking out of our depression and/or getting in a better mood. A moment ago, I came across a quote from George Washington that perfectly illustrates this point: "Happiness depends more upon the internal frame of a person's mind than on the externals in the world." Indeed, the mind exerts a much more powerful influence on our happiness than external factors -- from material possessions to others in our circle -- can. Telling yourself things like "everything's going to be okay," "you'll get through this," and "stay positive" puts you in a positive frame of mind rather than a negative one. When I've found myself down in the dumps, resorting to such positive affirmations has garnered me the strength to get up the next morning. And if you feel embarrassed that other people might hear you "talking to yourself," no one says you c...

I've had a few of my readers tell me that they've hit a rough patch of late, so I thought it apropos to write an uplifting post this morning to get everyone's weekend off to a magnificent start. There's no question that life is hard and often unfair. Bad things happen to good people all the time. We're confronted with tough situations we never saw coming, and sometimes such challenges seem insurmountable. But I'm here to tell you that every storm passes. As long as you stay strong and keep hope alive, you will get through it. The only thing in life that has no remedy is death. If the problems you're facing are not life-and-death, you can -- you will -- overcome them. Whether you recently got out of a bad relationship, unexpectedly lost your job, or are not on speaking terms with a longtime friend, one day you'll look back on it all and say, "I didn't see it back then, but things really did turn out for the best." Human beings have...

To help you start the month off on the right foot, I wanted to share with you a quote from Doe Zantamata. This one is worth hanging on your wall or pasting on your nightstand so it's the first thing you look at when you wake up: "Every morning starts a new page in your story. Make it a great one today." Many people I come across spend days harping on the same issues rather than seeing each day as an opportunity to start   anew -- as a chance to resolve yesterday's issues rather than let them fester. You wouldn't want to reserve so pages in your story for things of a negative nature, would you? We should view each day as an opportunity to conquer our challenges once and for all. Each day brings the promise of growth, happiness, success. Optimism is the essential ingredient to making this happen. You have to believe wholeheartedly that things really can and will get better. Let faith and perseverance be your guide, your anchor. Instead of wondering w...

Happiness is a decision.  It's a choice. It's a state of mind. You are as happy as you choose to be. The happiness ball is in your court, always. Life isn't about what happens to you, but what you do in response to what happens to you . You can either choose to sulk and let negative thoughts and feelings get the best of you, or you can look on the bright side and say, "Hey, things could be worse. Compared to what others are going through, this isn't that big of a deal." That kind of mindset can go a long way toward improving your mood and helping you appreciate what you have. Many people feel most unhappy when they compare themselves to others. But why in the world would someone do this to themselves? Other people are not you . Chances are, they don't share the same upbringing, like all the same things, or aspire to the same career goals as you. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to be more like other people. To do things as they do th...