In light of all the reshuffling that Covid has produced in the workplace, there's now a popular phrase being used to describe when workers essentially "check out" and do the least possible to keep their jobs while searching for better opportunities on the down low: quiet quitting.  This had me thinking: Could quiet quitting not also be applied to relationships? Indeed, many of us have been in that unfortunate situation: Our partner unofficially quits on us and the relationship by doing the absolute minimum. Once we confront them about their not pulling their weight, they become defensive if not downright hostile, charging that we're being overdramatic. Easy for them to say, right?  Carrying the entire relationship on one's shoulders is a major cross to bear. When we suspect our partner isn't doing their part, it can be mentally and emotionally devastating.  All kinds of unpleasant thoughts begin to cross our minds. Are they cheating? Are they no longer attract...

A telltale sign someone isn't satisfied in their relationship is when they muse whether there's someone better out there for them. Perhaps they've been with the same person for many years and have seriously questioned whether they've missed out. One thing people have to realize is that, as with everything else in life, decisions involve tradeoffs. The moment you decide to enter into a monogamous relationship with someone, you each forego sleeping with and dating other people. If someone isn't ready to make that serious of a commitment, they should clearly articulate to others that they're not interested in anything serious. However, in some cases, people are happy to be in a serious relationship and genuinely care about their partner. But the fact that things have fallen into something of a rut -- maybe they've become complacent, maybe the intimacy has ground to a halt -- has led them to wonder whether things could be more exciting with someone else. Unless ...

No matter how well we think we know someone, some people never cease to surprise us. That easygoing guy at work whom you thought could never hurt a fly may turn out to be a wolf in sheep's clothing. That seemingly wonderful girl whom you could confidently say you could trust more than some people in your own family could wind up stabbing you in the back. In essence, some people aren't always whom they seem. Pay close attention to the last part of that sentence: "Whom they seem." What we're saying, really, is that we perceive someone to be a certain way, but we can never be totally sure they're like that beneath the surface, or when they're not around us. And as I've reminded you in prior entries, perception is reality in our eyes even though that may not be the case in actuality. Yet, the same works when it's the other way around. Someone may strike us as rude, antisocial, indifferent, but when we really get to know them, we find ...

When people treat you as if they don't care -- no matter how emphatically they might say they do -- always go by their actions. It might sound pretty cliche by now, but actions really do speak louder than words. Actions, not  words, reveal a person's true intentions. If one's actions don't align with their words, it's pretty obvious they're being dishonest. If anything, our actions should back up whatever comes out of our mouths. So when people say they'll call or visit you, but you're left waiting weeks -- if not months -- for them to reach out to you, it's safe to say they never intended to establish contact in the first place. Some people think they're doing us a favor by telling us things we'd like to hear, even if they might not be entirely honest. Reality check: untruths, half-truths and white lies are all variants of dishonesty, even if such individuals say they're doing it to spare our feelings. Most people would prefe...

Your time is precious. It's the only thing in life that you can't get back once it's gone. That being said, it needn't be spent on people who won't give you the time of day. You're worth so much more than that. If you find that your calls and texts go unanswered, your proposals to hang out fall on deaf ears, and your interest level far exceeds that of the other person, it's time to reevaluate the relationship. People make time for the things and people that matter most to them. If they can't carve out so much as a minute to reply to your text message, it means you're definitely not high up on their priority list. At this point, it may be tempting to contemplate to death the reasons why they may be unresponsive or seem disinterested. A bevy of questions might cross your mind, including: Could they be seeing someone else? Have they lost interest in me? Did I do something wrong? Is something going on in their personal life? Are they h...

We've all dealt with a friend or partner who, out of the blue, becomes indifferent towards us. They cease making any effort to see or call us. They make every excuse in the book not to attend your birthday party or any other occasion you invite them to. When you confront them as to why they don't ever seem to give you the time of day, they don't have an answer. This leaves us feeling hurt, confused, and frustrated. We want this person to be as interested in us as we are in them, but the scales just never seem to balance. While it's true that typically one person is always more invested in the relationship or friendship than the other, it shouldn't be completely one-sided. People make time for those who truly matter to them, even if it's by doing something as simple as sending a quick text message. Unfortunately, some people get in relationships and ditch their friends. Others just have so many friends and acquaintances that they wind up leaving some ...

Or so it seems... Have you noticed that many people only seem to show interest in you when you show little to none in them? It's like the pendulum has to swing one way or the other. Achieving equilibrium isn't easy, whether we're talking about friendships or relationships. The key reason why this happens is because human beings not only have a tendency to become complacent in their friendships or relationships, but they often take the other person for granted. Once we see someone willing to bend over backwards for us, we perceive it as weakness and try to exploit that vulnerability as much as we can. I'm not saying all people do this, but many of us do. So what happens when you do the opposite -- that is, act indifferent?  The less emotionally invested one person seems to be, the more leverage he or she holds. In other words, he who cares least -- or is perceived as such -- has more power in the relationship. There's always going to be someone who compla...

Life is too short to waste our time chasing after friends, partners, or potential suitors who are too busy or indifferent to make time for us. I firmly believe that there's the right friend and partner for everyone out there -- the kind whom doesn't make you feel like you need to climb mountains and traverse rivers to see them. If you have one great friend who is always there for you when you need him or her, consider yourself fortunate. I know we all have an ever-increasing heap of responsibilities to worry about, and time just doesn't seem on our side. Still, a true friend will make the effort to squeeze you in. The same applies to someone you may be talking to on the love front. Whenever a girl failed to answer my calls and found every excuse in the book not to see me, I knew what the issue was: She just wasn't feeling me. As I've stressed several times in my posts, we can always count on the company of one specific person: ourselves. I'd rather enjoy b...