When did you last come across a rude individual? Was it at the office? While getting the mail? In the elevator on the way to your dentist appointment? It happens to the best of us. There's a preponderance of rude folks in the world, and there's little we can do about it. We do, however, exert control over how we respond to the ones in our orbit.  To be fair, we ourselves can be rude to others as times. We're only human. The key is for the person to recognize the offensive behavior, apologize, and prevent displaying such behavior in the future to the best of their ability.  Some people are, well, naturally rude. It's as if a day that goes by where they don't exhibit rudeness raises alarm. It could just be in their genes, it may be a product of their environment/upbringing, or a melding of the two. I speak of the folks who cut others off on the road, don't hold the door for those behind them, and lambast their co-workers.  In some cases, they may just be having a ...

At the end of the day, what people think of you is none of your business. Why? Because your happiness doesn't depend on other people. It resides within you! So why should the joy and satisfaction you get from life be contingent upon their opinion of you, which may be faulty to begin with? No matter how hard you may try to please others, you will always fall short in someone's eyes. How others see us is not necessarily who we are. They merely base their opinions on how they perceive us. And, remember, human beings are conditioned to accept perception as reality when they don't have all the facts. It's akin to judging a book by its cover. Never allow the noise of others' opinions drown out your inner voice.  The deeper we get sucked into others' opinions -- and the harder we seek their validation in order to feel whole -- the easier it is to lose ourselves. Obviously, we all want to do our part to cultivate a favorable image of ourselves. No one ...

No matter how well we think we know someone, some people never cease to surprise us. That easygoing guy at work whom you thought could never hurt a fly may turn out to be a wolf in sheep's clothing. That seemingly wonderful girl whom you could confidently say you could trust more than some people in your own family could wind up stabbing you in the back. In essence, some people aren't always whom they seem. Pay close attention to the last part of that sentence: "Whom they seem." What we're saying, really, is that we perceive someone to be a certain way, but we can never be totally sure they're like that beneath the surface, or when they're not around us. And as I've reminded you in prior entries, perception is reality in our eyes even though that may not be the case in actuality. Yet, the same works when it's the other way around. Someone may strike us as rude, antisocial, indifferent, but when we really get to know them, we find ...

How many times have you allowed someone's off-color remarks affect your mood? Maybe it's a tasteless remark they made about your weight, or an insensitive comment regarding your job or wardrobe. Maybe they didn't mean for their remark to come across as rude or insensitive. Or, perhaps this individual has a habit of not saying things in a tactful manner. Whatever the circumstance, it's important not to let people get under your skin. You never really know what's going on in people's heads. They may very well be the type who tries to compensate for their own insecurities by pointing out others perceived shortcomings. Whether you're dealing with an obnoxious coworker or an acquaintance who has no filter, you can't let what they said eat away at you. Let it go! If you're not careful, you may find yourself dwelling on it for hours, inducing feelings of bitterness and tempting you to retort with a scathing remark of your own that you might ...

It can be painful when we learn that someone we trust, admire, and respect -- whether an old friend, family member, or colleague -- is talking behind our back. We feel betrayed, cheated, violated. And to add insult to injury, they try to act all nice when they're around us, as if they genuinely cared. If that doesn't sound like the quintessential fake person, I don't know what does. People talk behind others' backs for three primary reasons: 1. They envy something you have that they perceive as lacking in their own lives, whether your looks, social status, relationships, possessions, or title.  2. They aim to make themselves feel better by spreading falsehoods about you.  3. They know they can't emulate your lifestyle, so they figure talking smack about you -- especially around people who hold you in high esteem -- is the only way to hit where it hurts.  Our immediate impulse may be to go and rip them a new one. But see, that's exactly the reaction...

We've all been on terrible dates we have etched in our memory -- ones we wish we could undo with one snap of the fingers. When it comes to things that turn people off on dates, many people would agree that these rank pretty high on the list: 1. The person can't stop talking about themselves. They blather on about their car, job, or neighbor's cat, and you can't seem to get a word in edgewise no matter how hard you try. A person who's this self-absorbed and inconsiderate, needless to say, is not relationship material and should be weeded out. 2. They have bad manners. The first turn-off mentioned certainly falls into this camp. Beyond being a blabbermouth, the person might chew with their mouth open, look at their phone constantly, or flirt with the waiter/waitress. 3. They're argumentative. There's a fine line between putting your point across with conviction and trying to lock horns with your date just for the sake of proving you're right. 4...

As Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu once warned, "Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner." Indeed, some people care so deeply about others' opinions of them that they allow those individuals to dictate the very decisions they make in their own lives -- whether it affects their love life, career, and so forth. For example, some people will not date a person unless they get the green light from their friends. Others will refrain from dressing a certain way, driving a specific car, or eating particular foods for fear that relatives will not approve. Worrying over what people say or think about you will only trap you mentally and emotionally, preventing you from reaching your full potential and living life to the fullest. And here's the truth: In most cases, these people aren't thinking of us at all! And even if they are, who's to say it isn't something positive? Perhaps they dig your new glasses even though you're c...

Don't allow anyone -- from your closest friend to your worst enemy -- to step all over you. No matter the circumstance, you are as deserving of the other person's respect as they are of yours. If you're in a relationship with someone who thinks they can run roughshod over you because you've spoiled them rotten, it's time to establish new ground rules or get out of the relationship. Otherwise, you'll continue to be taken for granted. Similarly, if your friend seems to remember you exist only when they need something, make it clear to them that there is no such thing as a friendship built on selfishness. As with relationships, both people should reciprocate time and effort. If your toxic boss is convinced you'll put up with anything just to keep your job, prove him or her wrong by arranging a closed-door conversation. Impress upon them that they have absolutely no right to treat you like garbage, and hint that you'll take your skills and experie...

When people judge you and you become bothered and angry by what they say, you lead them to believe they're right. When people judge you and what they say goes in one of your ears and out the other, you're demonstrating one thing: you couldn't care less what they think. This is the posture we should adopt. No one can make you feel bad about yourself without your consent. Why should you care about what they say? No one's a better judge of your character and personality than you. No one knows you better than you know yourself. Why give such judgments any importance when, at the end of the day, what you think about yourself is all that matters? If you judge yourself to be lazy, rude, hurtful, or irresponsible, it's up to you decide whether those traits ought to be changed. Change them because you wish to do so, not because others are prodding you to. If you judge yourself to be bookish or ambitious, it's no one's place to tell you to change those...

We all know them: the blabbermouths. They're the people who know no limits when it comes to conversing. They're masters in the art of chit-chat. They talk so much that you've convinced yourself they must love to hear their own voice -- for hours on end. We all have at least one coworker, friend, or relative like this. I don't think there's anything wrong with someone who's overly talkative -- that is, until he or she prevents the other from getting a word in edgewise. I also take issue with people who talk over or interrupt others while they're speaking. Not only is this majorly rude, it's disrespectful. In order for a conversation to flow smoothly, both parties should take turns listening and speaking. If one person is hogging all the time for himself, it makes the exchange seem too one-sided. I quickly lose interest in continuing a conversation once I see the other person attempting to hijack it. As interesting as the person's stories m...

Just last Friday, my boss and I sat down for my annual review. She had great things to say, including the fact that she has seen me "grow immensely" in the last year or two. Mind you, I've been with the company for close to five years. It isn't as if she went by hard data or any accomplishment lists to arrive at such a conclusion, for I provided none. I don't work any harder than I did a couple of years ago. So why is she so certain that I've demonstrated growth on the job? I think perception  -- the state of becoming aware of something through the senses -- is at play here. What is perceived as real can be more powerful than reality itself . The lenses through which we each see the world are dissimilar. I may perceive you to be a shy, rude, or arrogant person, but perhaps your neighbor views you as warm and happy-go-lucky. You may be phoning it at your job or in your relationship, but as long as your boss or partner "thinks" you're put...

We've all had people -- whether they be friends, neighbors, co-workers, or acquaintances -- ask us downright nosy questions that border on inappropriate. Here's a sampling of questions that might make you flinch: How much money do you make? How much money do you have saved up? How much did you pay for your home? At what age did you lose your virginity? Do you and your spouse/partner have a healthy sex life? Do you and your spouse/partner fight a lot? When are you going to have kids? (I addressed this one in a post this morning -- Are parents envious of the childfree? ) What health issues do you have? These are the kinds of questions I'd expect a shrink to ask of me, not Joe in accounting or the old lady who lives two houses down.  The worst offenders are the people who pry into your personal life, yet fail to divulge such details about their own lives.  If you ever run into a person like this, don't be afraid to politely change the subject. Or, j...

I'm sure most of you ladies have noticed a man unabashedly eying your cleavage at some point or another. You then wondered how he could have the nerve to make it so obvious. Well, many men perceive your showing off cleavage as an open invitation to look, if not stare. What's worse, a guy might assume that you purposely opened up your shirt to give him a peep show. Before you've blinked, the guy has already approached you and asked you out on a date. Women should be very careful not to attract the wrong attention should they decide to wear revealing clothing. Men are visually-oriented. If you give one the opportunity to see any of your lady parts, he'll jump on it. I might look once, but at least I try to be subtle about it. Guys who stare for an inordinate amount of time are awfully rude. However, if a woman wishes to avoid such a scenario, she should aim to dress a bit more conservatively. Women who show cleavage are, at some level, communicating that they don...

I've observed -- on a number of occasions I might add -- that certain women in the building where I work don't hold the door for someone walking behind them when entering or leaving a room. You might ask, "Well, how can you be so sure they know there's someone behind them?" I purposely cough to alert them to the fact. Still, they refuse to show common courtesy. And this isn't just a one-time thing: I have caught the same women doing this on multiple occasions. On the other hand, men seem to be a little more polite. I would say they hold the door 99.9% of the time. Why the difference between the sexes? I think that many men are accustomed to doing the chivalrous thing and holding doors for women. You might be surprised to find that most of them will also do this for other men. I get the sense, however, that some women think holding doors for others (especially for men) is beneath them. They might reason that women have fought so hard for equal right...

People can have the most irksome habits. What's worse is when these individuals carry on with them even after people have brough the habit(s) to their attention. Here are a few that come to mind: 1. Picking one's nose in public 2. Passing gas (especially the noisy ones!) 3. Leaving the toilet seat up 4. Forgetting to spray air freshener after one has used the restroom 5. Interrupting someone else's conversation 6. Talking incessantly about oneself and not letting someone else get a word in edgewise 7. Checking someone out in a creepy, perverted way 8. Sneezing without covering one's mouth 9. Not holding the door for others 10. Not saying thank you when someone holds the door, lets you pass, etc. This list could go on forever. Though they can all annoy me to no end, I would have to say that #5 and #6 are the worst in my book. Hearing someone blather on and on is like listening to a broken record. And it doesn't get any ruder than interjecting in a conv...