We feel betrayed, cheated, violated. And to add insult to injury, they try to act all nice when they're around us, as if they genuinely cared. If that doesn't sound like the quintessential fake person, I don't know what does.
People talk behind others' backs for three primary reasons:
1. They envy something you have that they perceive as lacking in their own lives, whether your looks, social status, relationships, possessions, or title.
2. They aim to make themselves feel better by spreading falsehoods about you.
3. They know they can't emulate your lifestyle, so they figure talking smack about you -- especially around people who hold you in high esteem -- is the only way to hit where it hurts.
Our immediate impulse may be to go and rip them a new one. But see, that's exactly the reaction they want to elicit in you. You're showing you still care enough to get all bent out of shape about it. And the worst thing you can do is shadow their egregious behavior by talking behind their back. Stooping to their level will only fan the flames of hostility.
A sounder approach? Walk away. Ignore them. Act as if you hardly noticed they were in the room.
When you feel the time is right, you can tell them -- in a tactful, cool manner -- that you'd appreciate their saying things to your face moving forward. Let them know that if they don't want others doing the same to them, they shouldn't be engaging in such petty behavior themselves. It's rude, disrespectful, and unacceptable.
Those who are envious enough of others to talk behind their backs fail to realize one important thing: that we are all different. Why try to be like someone else in the first place?
I can understand wanting to be like, say, Superman or Madonna when we're kids. In that stage of our lives, we're still in the process of shaping our identity, so we look to others who've already achieved fame and status for inspiration.
As adults, though, we should strive to find ways to embrace and accentuate the very things that make us unique -- whether it's our smarts, artistic sense, and/or charitable nature.
. Just because someone is rich, has three kids, and is the CEO of a Fortune 500 company doesn't mean it's the right life for you. And just because he or she seems content on the outside doesn't mean the individual is happy with their life -- they could be grappling with drinking problems, marital issues, and so on.
At the end of the day, fake people are not worth stressing about. Don't seek retribution; instead, let karma do the work for you.
Remember this: If people talk behind your back, it only means you're two steps ahead of them. They're behind you for a reason, and you should feel flattered that they're jealous enough to take time out of their day to focus on you so intently.
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