We've all been on terrible dates we have etched in our memory -- ones we wish we could undo with one snap of the fingers. When it comes to things that turn people off on dates, many people would agree that these rank pretty high on the list: 1. The person can't stop talking about themselves. They blather on about their car, job, or neighbor's cat, and you can't seem to get a word in edgewise no matter how hard you try. A person who's this self-absorbed and inconsiderate, needless to say, is not relationship material and should be weeded out. 2. They have bad manners. The first turn-off mentioned certainly falls into this camp. Beyond being a blabbermouth, the person might chew with their mouth open, look at their phone constantly, or flirt with the waiter/waitress. 3. They're argumentative. There's a fine line between putting your point across with conviction and trying to lock horns with your date just for the sake of proving you're right. 4...

The other day, I stumbled upon an article or post on Facebook about someone disgruntled over something her new boyfriend was doing. He wasn't cheating. He wasn't staying out late. He wasn't spending wastefully. He was simply calling her several times a day. Now, people have different thresholds for what they consider excessive calling. If you've just begun dating the person, calling more than twice a day may give off the impression that you're a tad clingy. But that all depends on the person. Some people get so "into" their partner that they might welcome a flurry of calls each day. That's why you have to gauge early on whether the other person would be receptive to more calls or turned off by them. As I indicated in my post yesterday, I know full well from experience that relationships in which one person is very clingy and the other typically standoffish don't work out too well in the long run. There has to be more if a balance....

I'm sure you've heard this saying before: The person who cares the least in and about a relationship has more power. To a certain extent, I think this is true. People are good at perceiving when someone else is heavily reliant on them physically and emotionally. When you're overly clingy with a friend or partner, it tends to drive the person away. But why? It goes back to what I've stated countless times in various blog posts. We like the chase. We want what we can't have. We tend to take for granted what's too readily available. It's as if we become so accustomed to the other person that we begin to take them for granted. We put less effort into the relationship because we're convinced doing so won't have any negative consequences. We're confident the person will remain attached at our hip no matter what we say or do. But life has a funny way of turning the tables on us. Once the person realizes that they're being taken advanta...

I think you can also use the word "selfish" to describe such behavior. We've all had at least one friend who ditches us when they jump into a relationship and come running back once that relationship has ended. One of my closest friends -- my wife and I have known him since high school -- falls into this category. I noted on the blog last year that he pulled a major disappearing act in the 8-month stretch he was with his then-girlfriend. One day, out of nowhere, I start receiving calls and invitations from him to hang out again. It's as if he had morphed from Mr. Indifferent to the clingiest person you'll ever meet. It took him awhile to come out and say that the relationship was officially done, but the fact he'd suddenly become so available again gave it away. He never gave specifics on why the relationship failed -- only saying that he broke up with her because he didn't want to hurt her. (We'll never really know who actually did the break...

I've seen, heard about, and been in relationships where one partner smothers the other, leaving the latter feeling as if he or she has no breathing room. Nothing good comes of such circumstances. Unfortunately, I was the clingy one in each of my ill-fated relationships, none of which lasted very long. I was much younger at the time. I lacked self-esteem and loathed being single, especially when so many of my friends were hooking up. I thought I could compensate for my low self-esteem by being overly romantic and demanding of my girlfriends' time, attention, and affections. I thought this would ensure that they wouldn't break up with me, and that I wouldn't find myself wrestling feelings of loneliness ever again. Boy, was I misinformed. While the girls acknowledged that my heart was in the right place, it all felt too suffocating for them. Hurt and confused, I naturally questioned their feelings at the time and reasoned that they just couldn't appreciate a guy wh...