Do you sense that you and a close friend have been drifting apart? Maybe you only connect via text or FaceTime on birthdays and other special occasions whereas before your spouses had to beg each of you to get off the phone every day. Or, perhaps you met up for lunch once a week and now you're lucky if you can convene once a year. Take heart: It happens in many a friendship. What truly puts friendships to the test is when both people find themselves in different stages of life. Or, they can be in the same stage of life and just be too preoccupied to attend to one another like they did in the heyday of the friendship. This can include one or both individuals: Getting a new (and more demanding) job.  Moving to a different city.  Making new friends.  Hooking up with/marrying someone. Having children. Taking up new hobbies and interests. As people get older, their priorities do change, which leaves less time for friendships. But in the strongest f...

With the country -- check that, the world really -- on lockdown, many of us find ourselves with some extra time on our hands to contemplate life and weigh decisions that can have a huge impact on our future, whether personal or professional. Many people who lead busy lives welcome the change of pace, even though having to balance work and childcare at home can be awfully challenging for some. Life will go back to being what it used to be. It won't be long before we're once again stuck in traffic, jostling through lines of shoppers at the local Publix or Macy's, and exhorting unruly teenagers at the theater to quit making noise during the movie. That means it's going to take a conscious effort to hit "pause" and take a deep breath once in a while, as was the case pre-pandemic. Here's a suggestion for doing just that: Assuming you have one, just stop what you're doing and look at your pet or baby. Indeed, they teach us that we can be find h...

We're only a few days shy of Christmas and people have been asking me whether regifting is acceptable. That depends. If it's something you don't want but know someone else would value, it's fair game. For example, you might not want a box of chocolates because you're on a diet, but it would make a nice gift for your chocoholic aunt. Or, if you don't drink (like me), that nice bottle of wine you received at work might suit your booze-loving neighbor. However, I advise against regifting when it concerns your close friends, partner, kids, or extended family. After all, these are the people you treasure most in your life. They deserve more of an investment of your time and money, don't they? Instead, it's more appropriate to give them to acquaintances or people you may otherwise not know all that well. For instance, maybe your friend's decor-minded sister could put the candle you received in a gift exchange to better use than you can. Obvio...

Many people get into the habit of falling for people who are already married or in a relationship. When asked why they repeatedly pursue people who are unavailable, they say the thrill of chasing after the forbidden -- angling for what they know they can't have -- is too irresistible to suppress. But becoming a homewrecker can have dire consequences. For starters, you're coming between a person and his or her partner, who may even have children together. Studies show that infidelity can cause irreparable damage to a marriage or relationship, with the fallout spilling into home life and even one's career. If a person has that much of a penchant for chasing after the unobtainable, it raises serious questions about the individual: Why not pursue people who are available? Has a lack of self-esteem or other psychological issue convinced the person that he or she isn't deserving of single suitors? Is the person a commitmentphobe? Does he or she simply want to h...

I don't know about you, but I get annoyed when couples engage in too much PDA (public displays of affection). Whether it's excessive hugging or profuse kissing, it makes me want to shout, "Hey, get a room already!" I've seen this so many times at malls and movie theaters, with said couples often in their teens. It's as if they become oblivious to their environment, not letting anything get in the way of their groping or tongue-wrestling. What's worse, sometimes they reach for each other's butts and other private areas. I blame this, in part, on the parents. There's no reason these kids should be out that late in the first place. I recently learned that a mall near me is implementing a "curfew" policy where those under the age of 18 must be accompanied by an adult after 9 p.m. I think every mall across the county should follow suit. Excessive PDA is disrespectful and inappropriate. It sends the wrong message to other people who may...

Many childfree individuals like myself get asked repeatedly when it is that we plan to have children. The pressure is even more pronounced for women, who society expects to kick into baby-making mode as soon as the so-called clock begins to tick. What doesn't add up, though, is that many of the parents asking the question are the same ones who complain about the stress and headaches brought on by parenting. They're endorsing the very thing that's making them go haywire. It's like being miserable at work as an accountant and encouraging others to follow the same career path. As hard and stressful as it may be, having kids is the norm in most people's eyes. It's just "what you do," and if one decides not to have children, people assume sterility is to blame or that something else is wrong.  It's unfair to say that all parents are envious of the childfree, but it's certainly likely that a few of them are. After all, the childfree hav...

I've mentioned this on the blog before, but it's so important that it bears repeating. It irks me when people stress making loads of money. Sure, money can make for a better life, but it isn't the most precious commodity. What is, you ask? The most precious thing we have is our time.  While you can lose and recoup money -- say, you get a good job after blowing your hard-earned savings at the casino -- you can never get time back. Those two hours you spent watching a horrible movie that never got better? You're not getting them back. That family trip to usually-sunny Florida during which the rain never stopped? Nope, you're not getting that time back either. All that time spent with a guy who wound up living a double life? It's gone for good. You know the saying, "Choose your words carefully"?  I think an even better one would be "Use your time wisely." We don't know how long we're going to be in this world, and the years...

Google "making out gross" and you'll find a plethora of websites and message boards in which hordes of women echo that very sentiment. Here are a couple of comments made by women who find french kissing all but revolting: "I am not a fan of prolonged kissing sessions/making out. It doesn't do much for me when it's with someone I like, and it repulses me if I am not very into the person." "I very infrequently enjoy making out. I'm no germophobe, but the thought of someone's warm, wet salivary secretions being pushed into my mouth and back into their mouth over and over again is just nasty." "My nose is almost always blocked so I can't really breathe when I make out...Also...It's a little boring? Like just sitting there making out? Ehn..." "I have a slight issue with people being up in my face for too long. It makes me start to panic. So yeah, prolonged kissing can be an issue." Interesting, huh? ...

...very crowded? My wife and I have hit up three Walt Disney World parks over the last couple of days (hence the reason you haven't seen me post new content lately!) and let me tell you: Never in my life have I seen or been in so crowded a place. It's mind-boggling how packed the Disney parks get, especially Magic Kingdom. You can't walk a few yards without bumping into someone. I realize this is perhaps the busiest time of year to visit in light of all the holiday shows they put on. But they'll have to do something to contain the number of people going into these parks. Otherwise, pushing and shoving will escalate into all-out brawls, and mad dashes to go on rides might devolve into stampedes where people get seriously injured. Maybe it's just me, but the police presence at Disney has seemed rather light. Perhaps the massive crowds are indicative of the fact that Disney has become too big for its own good. This brings me to my main point: I absolutely loath...

Life is hard. No one disputes that. Some of us go through moments in our lives that greatly test our patience, resolve, and even our faith. But for all the challenges we face, there are people in the world who have it a lot worse. I always try to keep this in mind whenever I feel the urge to issue a complaint. Below I've written a series of unfavorable scenarios we often find ourselves in and the kind of thoughts that should come to mind to help us appreciate our blessings. When you feel tempted to complain about horrible traffic (which I often have since moving, as my commute has grown considerably longer and more frustrating), consider this: There are people who don't have enough money to buy a car, so they have to brave the elements and do all their traveling by foot, via bus, or a combination thereof. Walking from place to place isn't always safe, especially if done at night, and buses can be full of shady characters.  When you feel tempted to complain about s...

If you feel unfulfilled at work and reason that your lack of friendships in the workplace is the culprit, think again. Mixing business and pleasure is ill-advised. It's appalling how many of my coworkers open up about their personal lives to other people in the department. For example, a young woman who sits in the cubicle next to me recently broke up with her boyfriend and has made it a habit of hers to spill her guts about the breakup every day. I understand human beings have an inherent need to bond with and seek consolation from those in their immediate environment, but that's what parents, spouses, siblings, and friends outside of work are for. Relating details of your personal life to coworkers has the potential to blow up in your face. You never know who you can really trust out there, especially when dealing with people in the workplace whom you may not know all that well. Perhaps you feel comfortable enough to do this with coworkers whom you've been worki...

From unending chores and attention-seeking children to stressful jobs that squeeze every last drop of energy out of us, our lives seem to get busier by the day. Not only does this place an immense burden on us physically and emotionally, but it is also mentally exhausting, often inducing anxiety, poor eating habits, low libido, sleep deprivation, and frayed relationships with those closest to us. Though certainly not a panacea, making a conscious effort to simplify your life will help you feel more in control of it. What’s more, it’ll keep those nerves in check! So what are some ways that you can keep your life simple? For one, if you’re contemplating having a boatload of kids – say, five or six –  you can rest assured that a plethora of sleepless nights are in your future. Why not just aim for one or two and go from there?  You get the opportunity to experience the joys (and headaches) of parenthood without feeling as though you’ll be changi...

While some people are happy with the name they were given, others have a clear preference for a different name. It's fair to say that most people wind up giving their children the names they would have given themselves at the time of their own birth. Though I don't have any issue with my name, Jeffrey, I think Jeremy would have been more to my liking. Not surprisingly, it's the name I've decided to give my son -- should my wife and I end up having one. Personally, I think most nicknames sound better than their respective full names. I like Jeff more than Jeffrey, Tim more than Timothy, Becky more than Rebecca, and so on. They're just snappier -- much less of a mouthful. We tend to assess how much we like our names by how it sounds when others utter it. We also reason that certain names don't fit certain people. Ever heard someone say, "She doesn't look like a Meagan. She's more like a Christine." Are you happy with your name? If not, wh...

Many people say that those who opt to go the child-free route are displaying selfishness of the worst kind. Actually, I'd probably reserve that designation for those individuals who say that their main reason for having kids is to have someone there to take care of them when they get old . There are a host of noble reasons for having children, among them: Having a purpose in life beyond oneeself Loving one's own child selflessly Creating something that's a piece of you and of your partner Having an excuse to play with Barbie dolls and/or toy cars again Having someone to pass on ideas, lessons, and possessions to And the list goes on... Alas, two of my friends (both men) mentioned having a caretaker in old age as their primary reason for wanting to have kids. I don't know about you, but this irritates me immensely! For starters, who's to say that your kids will be there to take care of you once you get old? Have you not seen how many nursing homes ar...

This morning, I was saddened to read about the death of a man, Lenny B. Robinson, who would dress up as Batman to cheer up kids with life-threatening illnesses in various Maryland hospitals. He drove around in a Batmobile (among the many cars he owned was a black Lamborghini sporting the Batman symbol) and spent thousands of dollars on his costume and memorabilia. Now, he is being mourned by family and fans around the world as a real-life hero. I came across a comment to the article that included this quote: "What you do for yourself dies with you. What you do for others lives on." It reminds me of a line uttered by Katie Holmes' character in, ironically enough, "Batman Begins," starring Christian Bale: "It's not what you are underneath -- it's what you do that defines you."   These kinds of quotes stand in contrast to the feel-good ones we hear that center around being happy with yourself, not caring what others think of you, and so ...

I recently read an article in The Telegraph about a study that revealed that four out of five women don't shower every day . The survey also found that almost two thirds of the participants couldn't be bothered removing make-up before going to bed, and one in eight owned up to not brushing their teeth before turning in for the night. Even more surprising was that one in three women admitted to going as many as three days without washing their face or body at all. Moreover, 89 percent of the women stated that they would like to improve their body hygiene, but blamed morning or evening tiredness for their tendency to pass on bathing. What these findings tell me is that between marriage, jobs, children, and other responsibilities, women are more strapped for time than ever before. There just aren't enough hours in the day to do everything, it seems. Although a woman need only allocate a few minutes of her day for a quick shower, when she is feeling exhausted, that tim...

It's finite. It's in short supply. And there's nothing we should be working harder to make the most of than this. Any idea what I'm talking about? It's time. Now, does making the most of your time necessarily mean that you ought to be taking as many vacations as you can possibly squeeze into a year? Does making the most of your time mean you should be having as many children as you can? Does making the most of your time mean you should aim to buy the best car and biggest house you can afford? If anything, such pursuits seem like they'd be an even bigger drain on your time. The question becomes: Do you think investing a lot of your time -- the scarcest commodity you have -- on these things is worth it? When it comes to travel, we spend a significant amount of time at airports, on flights, and in cabs. What's more, you have to factor all the time spent planning the vacation, including researching key sites and attractions, booking flights and tou...

We've all seen at least one movie where an older woman ensnares a younger, more inexperienced guy. (Ann Bancroft opposite Dustin Hoffman in "The Graduate" is a perfect example.) A lot of women prefer -- and can't seem to get enough of -- younger men. But what is it about these lads that would drive a woman to pick them over men their own age? The way I see it, some women find the prospect of "deflowering" a sexually inexperienced guy all too alluring. They think to themselves, "Hey, I could teach this guy a few things." Moreover, the mere fact that someone 10 -- even 20 -- years her junior could be more interested in her than someone closer to his age serves as a definite ego boost. Once women reach an age where they're no longer able to have kids, the chances of landing a young stud become less likely. However, many men in their 20s and 30s aren't interested in anything serious, let alone having children. And that's precisely w...

We know that trust and communication are essential to any relationship; I've elaborated on that in prior posts. But here's an oft-overlooked element on which relationships also depend for survival, and one I studied in depth in most of my psychology classes: proximity . Dictionary.com defines proximity as "nearness in place, time, order, occurrence, or relation." Have you noticed that the people you're often closest to at work or school are those who sit near you? Or that your closest friends are usually the ones who still live in the same city as you do? This should come as no surprise to us. Proximity is like a special glue that holds the relationship together. The closer we are to other people, the more likely it is for us to bond with them. Once someone in the relationship moves -- whether to a different cubicle at work or to a different home or city altogether -- the relationship tends to suffer. Once you create distance between yourself and someo...

As you know, I love to observe and comment on human behavior, and that includes patterns I see among people of a certain age. I've worked with three divorced men who have gone on to either remarry or have a serious relationship with someone else. What I've noticed about said women is that they: Are considerably younger (we're talking 15-20 younger) Are child-free (whether by choice or for other reasons)  Have never been married themselves Clearly got some kind of benefit from the relationship (money, citizenship in the U.S., etc.) Usually meet the men at work And this makes perfect sense. For one, many men prefer younger women to begin with, as they tend to score higher on the attractiveness meter. As men see it, they usually have fewer wrinkles and health issues, not to mention better bodies. Hence, many men assume that younger women make better partners in bed. These men are all in their 50s and have already begun looking for someone who could "take c...