Today is most certainly a gift. That's why they call it the present.  Yesterday is in the past and cannot be changed. Tomorrow has yet to arrive. While we can plan for the future in certain ways, we'll never be in control of it entirely. All we have is the present moment to shape our lives in whatever ways we see fit. Right now, the present seems a little bleak because of the coronavirus pandemic we're all grappling with. But as I advised in my last posts, there are myriad things we can do with the additional downtime -- from enjoying existing hobbies or cultivating new ones to striving toward goals like learning a new language or how to play a musical instrument. American composer Irving Berlin said that life is 10 percent what you make it, and 90 percent how you take it. In other words, we spend the bulk of our lives responding to events over which we have little control. And the rest of it really depends on us. We're responding to this health crisi...

When it's all said and done, we will only regret the chances we didn't take. Worse than regretting the things we have done is regretting not having done something. Imagine spending your whole life wondering whether you could have achieved a particular goal. That "what if" feeling can certainly come back to haunt us every now and then. We may comfort ourselves by saying things like "it wasn't meant to be," but deep down, we just never know. Whether it's asking out the girl you've been in love with since the 3rd grade, jumping out of an airplane, or starting your own business, chances are it's a debilitating fear of failure that is keeping you from striving toward your goal. When you doubt yourself and imagine the worst, you've essentially given up before you've begun. And the only surefire way to fail is to give up. If you try and fall short, you haven't failed -- you've merely learned a lesson. We must aim to...

Have you ever felt desperate to jump into a relationship -- whether out of fear of loneliness, pressure from peers or family members, or merely to have someone around for special occasions like Christmas and Valentine's Day? I can understand the yearning to have someone at your side, experiencing the highs and lows of life with you. Having a partner can offer myriad benefits. It's great to have a shoulder to lean on/ear to listen to you on those really tough days, just as it is to have a partner to share in your successes. Assuming one has a wonderful partner who goes out of his or her way to make them happy, a companion can undoubtedly be a blessing. But no one should jump into a relationship unless/until they feel the time is right. Your friends may try to hook you up with an acquaintance whom you don't necessarily deem attractive or your type. Maybe you're talking to a guy online who wants to move a little faster than you feel is appropriate. Always let...

Rather than set expectations , we should aim to establish clear-cut  goals . Though these may sound similar, they vary in terms of how a person generally approaches not meeting a goal vs. not having their expectations met. When you set goals, you're doing so knowing full well that you may not achieve them. And even if you don't, you recognize that you can try again by retooling your strategy, or changing said goals altogether. When you set expectations of yourself or other people, you're already anticipating a certain outcome. If that outcome doesn't live up to what you had in mind, you're bound to feel upset and defeated. While being confident and "expecting" to achieve a goal isn't necessarily a bad thing, we need to remain humble and open to the possibility that things may not go exactly as planned, often through no fault of our own. For example, you might get psyched about landing what seems like the perfect job, but fall a little short...

After a 10-year hiatus from higher education, I'm strongly considering going back to school next year and pursuing a master's degree in English. Considering I bought three prep books earlier in the week to help me prepare for the Graduation Record Examinations (GRE) -- which my program of interest requires a good score on in order to be accepted -- I'd say that shows I'm pretty serious about taking the plunge. Sometimes I regret waiting so long to get my master's -- then I remind myself that it was ultimately a wise choice. Not only have I been able to gain ample work experience in my field, but the money I would have used on the master's has instead gone towards major life events like getting married, buying a home, and taking a few bucket list vacations. With no debt to speak of (mortgage notwithstanding), I'm in a much better financial position now to get a master's than I would have been if I'd gone to grad school right after earning my bach...

Here's to a happy, healthy, and productive March for us all! If February was a good month for you, I hope this month will be nothing short of great! If you're dealing with any problems that carried over into March, you now have a fresh 31 days to resolve them. It will get better! If you're working to achieve a goal but haven't quite crossed the finish line, don't despair. A new month presents a wonderful opportunity to work a bit harder toward achieving it. You'll get there, little by little. Don't ruminate on what did or did not happen in February, for that month is now behind us. Focus on what lies ahead. As long as you're positive, the forecast won't call for showers and thunderstorms. Instead, there will be plenty of sunny days in store. As I've put forward in prior entries, the mind exerts a powerful influence over our mood and attitude. If you go into the month assuming the worst, you'll get the worst. It's that simp...

They say people always want what they can't have. But there are times when not getting what we want can wind up being a blessing in disguise. For example, I've gotten turned down for jobs, only to learn a year or so later that the company went out of business. I've also been dumped or rejected by women who have gone on to cheat on their husbands or had kids at a very young age, with the father no longer in the picture. It can be very upsetting when we are unable to get what we want, prompting us to question why such things happen to good people. But little do we know that an even better opportunity lies in the horizon. Once it arrives, we breath a sigh of relief at knowing that the first one fell through. Such a scenario played out a few years ago while my wife and I went condo hunting. We couldn't get financing for the first property we made an offer for because the high number of delinquent owners at the property made our bank flinch. At the time, we were ...

Happy Wednesday, everyone! I wanted to share with you an inspiring quote from William Arthur Ward: "Opportunities are like sunrises. If you wait too long, you miss them." Whether a fantastic new job opportunity presents itself, a house you've been eying for some time finally becomes available on the market, or you serendipitously meet someone who seems to embody everything you want in a partner, when opportunity comes knocking, you must answer the door! It probably sounds cliché by now, but some opportunities don't come twice in a lifetime. If a great one comes up, don't rest on your laurels -- seize it before someone else does! Most people would agree that it's better to regret doing something than not doing something, so long as your gut doesn't tell you otherwise. At least when you do something that turns out unfavorably, you learn from it so that next time you can make a more sound decision. Experience steels us for future challenges. ...