The time has come to sever ties with the ones who've done you wrong, with the ones who fail to appreciate all you do for them. Granted, nobody's perfect. We're all guilty of missteps. But if you've done your part to atone for your mistakes and the other person hasn't, it's obvious who places a higher premium on the relationship.  If it's your boss who's toxic and has subjected you to mental and emotional abuse, you need to stop putting off finding a new job. No role -- irrespective of pay, benefits, and other perks -- is worth risking your well-being for!  Those benefits can always be replaced, but as far as your mental wellness, it isn't always automatic (or even guaranteed).  If your partner is abusive in any way, whether physically, mentally, or emotionally, you must stop giving them a free pass. Everyone is entitled to respect and dignity.  The longer such behavior carries on, the greater the chance of your mental or emotional state deteriorating...

There's no sense in regretting prior relationships that ended badly. What's done is done. Sure, in an ideal world, we would all see our relationships end amicably, with our exes becoming trustworthy friends. But parting on such favorable terms seldom happens. After a relationship goes down the toilet, people tend to have thoughts along the lines of: "I wasted so much time on that guy." "I knew Sue wasn't right for me. I could have been with Joan all this time." "It was a mistake to have ever even met Tim." This kind of thinking is conducive only to anger and bitterness. You won't resolve anything by trying to rationalize the reasons why things went awry.  And even checking off all the things you did right and your partner did wrong won't repair the relationship. There are some special circumstances where a person might have cause for loathing their ex and wishing they'd never crossed paths (e.g., he or she was ...

Just the other day, I came across the following quote: "Make sure everyone in your 'boat' is rowing and not drilling holes when you're not looking." In other words, know your circle. Familiarize yourself with the company you keep. Not every person who smiles at you and tells you nice things is your friend -- let alone someone in whom you should confide your biggest secrets. As I've stated in recent posts, some people are masterful at faking it. They're pretenders. It's not always easy to distinguish genuine people from fakers, but one of the telltale signs is when their actions don't seem to mirror their words. For example, in the workplace they may claim to be working hard, but that might not jell with the fact they're always trying to leave early or dump their work on subordinates. Then there are those friends who say they care about you, but never seem to spare a moment to call you or reply to your texts. Again, when what peo...

We've all been on terrible dates we have etched in our memory -- ones we wish we could undo with one snap of the fingers. When it comes to things that turn people off on dates, many people would agree that these rank pretty high on the list: 1. The person can't stop talking about themselves. They blather on about their car, job, or neighbor's cat, and you can't seem to get a word in edgewise no matter how hard you try. A person who's this self-absorbed and inconsiderate, needless to say, is not relationship material and should be weeded out. 2. They have bad manners. The first turn-off mentioned certainly falls into this camp. Beyond being a blabbermouth, the person might chew with their mouth open, look at their phone constantly, or flirt with the waiter/waitress. 3. They're argumentative. There's a fine line between putting your point across with conviction and trying to lock horns with your date just for the sake of proving you're right. 4...

I recently read an article in the magazine Psychology Today  that discusses a phenomenon in social perception called the Doppelgänger Bias .  For starters, a doppelgänger is a non-biologically related look-alike or double of a living person. In books and movies, it is sometimes portrayed as a ghostly or paranormal apparition and usually deemed a harbinger of bad luck. Our prior knowledge of a person -- whether he/she has treated you well or poorly -- determines how you act toward that individual in the future. But research suggests that a person's track record may also affect how you treat people who look like the person in question. In studies headed by Brown University neuroscientist Oriel FeldmanHall, participants played a money-sharing game with several "male partners" whose headshots appeared onscreen. (Players were lead to believe they were dealing with actual people, but the partners were virtual.) As the study participants played, they discovered these ...

If one thing is for sure, it's that not everyone is going to like us. Some people will find us annoying. Others will deem us rude. Still others will think we're conceited, messy, obnoxious, dumb, stingy, or lazy. And it doesn't really matter whether any of these labels have merit or are entirely baseless. All that matters is how we're perceived. Perception is, in fact, reality in the eyes of those who may not know us all that well. If not a single person has a beef with you -- if you feel everyone you know holds you in high esteem -- it boils down to one of two things: (1) They're lying. (2) You're in denial, or in the dark. Someone in our circle -- whomever it may be -- takes issue with something about us, whether it be our religious or political beliefs, our weight, our choice of partner or career, our hobbies, our favorite foods, and so forth. Granted, someone can like you and, say, still clash with you when it comes to politics. But to say th...

If you were asked whether your personality was more like that of Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton, who would you pick? Chances are, if you're stubborn, assertive, unpredictable, love the spotlight, and have a tendency to say things without thinking them through first, you'll likely say Trump. If you're more reserved, predictable, averse to the spotlight, bookish, and given to researching things before making an argument, you'll probably select Hillary. I'm not saying one style is necessarily better than the other. We all have different temperaments, and if we're happy with them, why try to change? I find my personality most closely mirrors Hillary Clinton's. Some would say I have a very scholarly way of looking at the world. I tend to be very thorough, organized, and detail-oriented. I always do my research before a job interview or meeting, making sure to learn (and sometimes memorize) as much information as I can. I usually stick to the facts and ...