Though they sound similar enough, being desired and being needed aren't one and the same.  Here are a few examples that convey desire: "I love it when you wear that outfit." "Going to the beach is always more fun when you join me." "I wish you were here cuddling with me and keeping me warm." Your charm and intellect drive me crazy." Now, let's look at a couple of examples that hint at needing someone: "My life stinks when you're not here."  "I don't feel whole unless you're around." "I need you to lift me up." "I can always count on you to fix my problems." Sidenote: By "needing" someone, I'm not talking about, say, having them help you walk or give you food after a major surgery. I mean it more generally, in the context of a person's emotional well-being.  So, going back to the bullet points outlined above, what do you notice distinguishes one set from the other? The first ...

It's a question asked of me quite often. In the rough-and-tumble that is the dating world, do you stand out if you actually care less? Well, that depends on the people we're dealing with. Take a blonde bombshell who gets asked out all the time, with guys buying her flowers and candy left and right. Then, out of nowhere comes an attractive guy who isn't swooning over her. Though friendly, he treats her as he would any other woman he meets. She doesn't know for sure whether he's interested in her -- something she, quite frankly, is unaccustomed to -- and that piques her interest. The guy is effectively posing a challenge, and she's compelled to unearth why he doesn't allow himself to be made putty in her hands like all the other chumps do. That being said, giving off a more non-chalant vibe might work when the target is very attractive and has no shortage of options to choose from. Some people perceive those who give them the cold shoulder to...

Have you ever stopped and considered how illogical attraction can be? Let me give you an example by taking you down memory lane. Remember back when you were in elementary, middle, or high school and there always seemed to be one particular guy or girl whom everyone seemed to like? Don't get me wrong: It makes sense why they would have many admirers. They tended to be good looking and popular (probably on the cheerleading squad or football team) and had tons of friends. Chances are they became prom king/queen. Maybe even you jumped on the bandwagon and counted yourself among the lovestruck. What I've always wondered is: Did all of those kids really like the student in question, or did they just express interest them because everyone else did? I can honestly say that I "fell" for the girl all the guys liked, and it was in middle school. Once the dust had settled, I realized that I didn't have feelings for the girl after all. I had just fallen for a...

Have you ever felt desperate to jump into a relationship -- whether out of fear of loneliness, pressure from peers or family members, or merely to have someone around for special occasions like Christmas and Valentine's Day? I can understand the yearning to have someone at your side, experiencing the highs and lows of life with you. Having a partner can offer myriad benefits. It's great to have a shoulder to lean on/ear to listen to you on those really tough days, just as it is to have a partner to share in your successes. Assuming one has a wonderful partner who goes out of his or her way to make them happy, a companion can undoubtedly be a blessing. But no one should jump into a relationship unless/until they feel the time is right. Your friends may try to hook you up with an acquaintance whom you don't necessarily deem attractive or your type. Maybe you're talking to a guy online who wants to move a little faster than you feel is appropriate. Always let...

Allow me to commence this post by posing a question: Do you judge attractive people to be nicer or smarter than less attractive people? (Now, I know people have different taste, but let's assume, for the purpose of this hypothetical situation at least, that we generally find the same people to be attractive the world over.) Most of you might say, "Of course not. Physical beauty has little to do with traits like kindness and intelligence. Studies show, however, that thanks to human perception, they're more entwined than we think.  People have a tendency to judge beautiful people as sharing a variety of psychological characteristics based solely on their looks. Beautiful people are perceived not only as nicer, but more successful.  One study in 2014 found that viewers judged an attractive person who smiled as happier than a smiling person with an unattractive face.  It's mind-boggling to think that people would assign so man...

It's a question that many men and women perceived as "nice" -- ones who have struck out repeatedly in the dating market -- have been scratching their heads over for what seems like, well, centuries. Can being too nice make you less attractive to dating prospects? As with anything else, there's no simple answer, and a bevy of factors have to be considered. For starters, "too nice" for one person can mean something entirely different to someone else, just like we all have different opinions on what counts as too sweet or salty when eating different foods. In general, though, a person may be regarded as too nice if they exhibit one or more of the following behaviors: Being highly agreeable  Being a complete pushover by never standing up for oneself  Attempting to buy someone's affections by heaping them with gifts and compliments they probably don't deserve, at least not so early in the game  Trying to avoid disagreements at all costs L...

Mysterious people exude a certain allure when you first get to know them. They keep us on our feet. They keep us guessing. They keep us yearning to learn more about them. I know this firsthand -- not only because I dated a couple of mysterious girls, but several I've met over the years have cited "mystique" as one of my most magnetic qualities. Being mysterious can certainly work to one's advantage during the courtship stage, especially if the object of your affection is very attractive and used to having people fawn over him or her. However, once things get more serious, it can be detrimental to a budding relationship. If one still seems mysterious after, say, five or six dates, it comes off as them hiding something, or shows an inability to open up. Naturally, most people would find such reticence a little off-putting, especially if they see the other person as being long-term material. I would let my guard down as soon as I felt comfortable enough with ...

Don't complain of being single if you're super picky, which is the boat one of my friends perpetually finds himself in. He's gregarious, polite, and an all around good guy. However, when it comes to women, he seeks near-perfection: a slim, highly attractive woman -- we're talking Victoria's Secret-esque -- who doesn't smoke, drink, or party. Oh, yeah, and she should attend church regularly. Saying my friend has high standards is an understatement. He refuses to even consider women who are a couple of pounds overweight. While some may say his refusal to budge on his criteria is admirable in that he sticks to his guns, others might lambaste him for his ostensible shallowness. What provides ammunition to the latter group's argument, however, is the fact he often complains of being single. Well, little does he realize that his problem is of his own making. If you're going to disqualify the vast majority of the dating pool on account of what you f...

Do you find it more attractive when a man wears loose-fitting clothing or fitted clothes? Personally, I think men (myself included) look sharper in fitted clothing, so long as it doesn't look too tight on them. The other extreme is equally unprepossessing, however. For example, if their shorts or pants are so big on them that they're forced to pull them up constantly, that's unattractive. Clothing should fit comfortably. That means they should neither be too loose nor too tight. When we gain or lose a considerable amount of weight, the clothing we wore just a month ago might start to look awkward on us. That's why it's important we stay attuned to how our clothes fits on us given our weight fluctuations. Ladies, do you prefer to see men in loose or fitted clothing?

Here's an interesting story making the rounds on the internet: a woman named Ashley Graham became the first size-16 model to grace the cover of Sports Illustrated's swimsuit issue. What struck me when I Googled the busty Graham is that she looks pretty average-looking as far as size goes. That they would label her "plus-size" is beyond ridiculous. To me, she looks healthy. If a woman with her physique were spotted on the street, I seriously doubt she'd be deemed a big girl, at least not by the vast majority of onlookers. But, of course, the standards are different in the world of entertainment. I'm glad to see that the bony, emaciated look is finally beginning to lose its appeal. Let's not forget that, a few centuries back, plump women were actually considered more physically attractive than their skinnier peers. How did things change so radically? While I believe thin will always be "in," it's apparent that having a little more meat on...

...you found yourself alone with and hit on by someone you deem incredibly attractive? I posed a similar question in a prior post, which asked readers whether they think they could remain loyal to their partner if they found themselves stranded on an island with no one but a highly attractive person of the opposite sex. Most people would probably answer "no," but it's the circumstances in people's relationships -- and more broadly, in their overall lives -- that ultimately dictate whether they'll engage in acts of infidelity. For example, many people would be much more likely to cheat if their relationship is on the rocks. They could be having marital or relationship problems for a number of reasons, including: Lack of sexual intimacy/fulfillment  Financial problems Tired of feeling tied down Having fallen out of love Not feeling physically attracted enough to the other person Such conditions certainly make people more vulnerable to cheating. In ma...

If you've ever gone to the gym to exercise (as most of us have at least a couple of times), you've checked someone out, been checked out, or both. The question is: Do people like to be checked out at the gym? Here's my take: I think most people wouldn't mind being checked out so long as it isn't done in an obnoxious, intrusive way. Gymgoers put headphones on to listen to music, yes, but many of them also do it to deter others from striking up unsolicited conversations with them. While exercising, we're tired, sweaty, out of breath -- needless to say, we're not exactly looking our best. Sure, some people couldn't care less and resolve to find attractive men or women showing ample skin. Is it fair to say that people who show up in tight leggings or muscle-baring shirts are deliberately asking to be checked out?  That may very well be the case. Who wouldn't be flattered to know that others find them physically attractive? If you have a gre...

...and assume the following: you find him really, really attractive you're single and craving some companionship you desperately need the job you figure that a little rough-and-tumble in bed can only open up promotion opportunities Your first reaction is probably, "That's preposterous. No woman with a healthy level of self-respect would ever do that." But let's be real. In the heat of the moment, anything can happen. Loneliness can leave us feeling vulnerable. And when a person you find very attractive comes on you, it isn't always to resist his or her advances.  However, sleeping with your boss can open a can of worms when: one of you presses the other for something more serious the sex results in an unwanted pregnancy you decide you want to leave the company, much to your boss's chagrin, or vice-versa the boss treats you differently if you're not putting out If I found myself in this situation, I would do my best to muster e...

...by someone who catches your eye but isn't your partner? Let's say you're as happy as can be in your relationship or marriage. Your love for your partner grows deeper each day, and you still find him or her as -- or even more -- attractive as you did when you first started dating. Now, assume that you spot an attractive man or woman at the grocery store, and the two of you make eye contact on a number of occasions. How would this make you feel? Would you think nothing of it, or would you say, "Hey, someone attractive (other than my special someone) finds me good-looking enough to give me repeated looks, and it feels good." I've lost a considerable amount of weight in the past few years, thanks in large part to the fact I've been doing weights. Now that I've gotten more buff, I'm getting a lot more looks from women. I'm a happily married man, but I won't deny that I feel good when someone other than my wife appreciates my physical ap...

Ladies, take a moment to read the four categories I've listed below. Would you say you're a: 1) A girly girl : You're almost as passionate about discussing shoes, makeup, and clothes as you are about buying them 2) Like one of the guys : You love watching and/or playing sports, and you know more about sports than many of your male buddies 3) On the nerdier side : A night isn't fun unless it's intellectually-stimulating. You'd be perfectly content spending it at home reading a gripping book. 4) A little of each : Depending on the day and your mood, you can be any of the above If you asked me which type of women men generally like being around the most for an extended period of time, it would probably be those who fall under #2. They say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but a woman who knows her sports or cars is irresistible to most guys. Men want their women to be feminine, so #1 can be important. However, you'll want to ...

Jealousy in relationships can be a double-edged sword. For one, it conveys that you genuinely care enough about your partner to get bothered at seeing him, say, get friendly with the blonde bombshell who works at the local convenience store. On the other hand, jealousy can signal deep-seated insecurities and communicate that you're afraid your partner may bail on you for someone prettier, smarter, or more successful, for example. I think it's normal to become a little uneasy when we think about or see our partners talking to someone they might otherwise be interested in if they were single. But if we can put our full trust in that person, there should be nothing to worry about. Let's not be naive, folks: We're all human, and naturally we're going to find certain people of the opposite sex -- other than our partners -- attractive. But just because your boyfriend or husband might find her attractive and seems to enjoy conversing with her doesn't mean the...

Studies show that too many compliments can go to your head -- and fast. I can vouch for the veracity of these studies, as I've experienced this firsthand and have seen a few friends change dramatically as a result of too many compliments. Let's face it: When people compliment us, it feels really good. Whether they're commending us on something we put together at work or complimenting us on our getup, compliments feed our egos and make us feel like a million bucks. They lead to increased feelings of self-worth and self-esteem. They validate something about us that we've likely put considerable effort into improving. People thrive on positive feedback from others; it gives us the impetus to continue striving for improvement. When I lost roughly 25 pounds in 2013, I started getting more looks from women at the gym and at work. It felt great considering the hours I was putting in at the gym and the willpower it took to cut back on my favorite goods. It's never fun...

Research suggests that many married men and women -- and even unmarried ones in serious relationships -- admit to flirting with other people. Now, flirting could mean anything from exchanging glances and smiles to complimenting what someone else is wearing. As we know, you don't even have to talk to someone to engage in flirting. So why is it that so many people who are married or in serious relationships do this? My theory is as follows: As much as we may love our partners, human beings get a tremendous high from being fancied by other people -- especially ones we find physically attractive. Let's face it: Even if we find our partner to be the most attractive person in the world, we can't help but feel physically attracted to others. While some people can keep the attraction they feel to themselves, others resort to the only way they can subtly convey it without full-blown cheating: flirting. I think people do this because sometimes they want to feel desired by s...

According to research, it certainly appears that way. Studies show that good looking people are perceived as nicer, brighter, and more friendly. What's more, better looking people: Edge out less attractive candidates for jobs Earn more money and receive more opportunities to move up within the company Have more suitors in the dating world (no surprise there) Get away with transgressions and little white lies more than their less-physically-appealing counterparts So, let's get this straight. A person can be dumb as rocks, but if the hiring manager at the company she want to work for or the graduate school she wishes to enroll in digs her, then she's home free?  I have to question the validity of some of those studies. What's more, attractiveness is largely subjective. Just because the media and Hollywood shove down our throats that looking like a stick figure is attractive doesn't mean that all men go for that. In fact, I happen to be drawn to women ...