Skip to main content

BE HONEST: How much do you like to be checked out...

...by someone who catches your eye but isn't your partner?

Let's say you're as happy as can be in your relationship or marriage. Your love for your partner grows deeper each day, and you still find him or her as -- or even more -- attractive as you did when you first started dating.

Now, assume that you spot an attractive man or woman at the grocery store, and the two of you make eye contact on a number of occasions. How would this make you feel? Would you think nothing of it, or would you say, "Hey, someone attractive (other than my special someone) finds me good-looking enough to give me repeated looks, and it feels good."

I've lost a considerable amount of weight in the past few years, thanks in large part to the fact I've been doing weights. Now that I've gotten more buff, I'm getting a lot more looks from women. I'm a happily married man, but I won't deny that I feel good when someone other than my wife appreciates my physical appearance. After all, I'm working hard on my physique!

Does this mean I approach and talk to these women? Nope. That would be crossing the line. I wouldn't want my wife doing the same, so I refuse to be a hypocrite. I'm completely loyal to my wife and would never do anything to betray her trust. And I don't condone that people who are married or in a relationship do this if they can't resist the impulse to strike up a conversation. No good will come out of such a situation.

I believe that there's no harm in looking without touching. I'm not naive, folks: I know my wife finds men other than me to be attractive and probably checks one out from time to time. So why can't I do the same?

What are your thoughts on this?  Do you like being checked out by other men or women even though you're spoken for? (If you're not married or in a relationship, assume you are when answering the question.)

For prior posts, please click here: How to Understand People

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

The 1 good thing cheaters do for us

Nothing good could come of a relationship marred by infidelity, right? The heartache, the shock, the feeling of one's trust being violated.  In the short-term, being cheated on can turn one's world upside down. But eventually, there may be a light awaiting the cheated at the end of the tunnel.  If you really think about it, cheaters end up doing us a huge favor.  In their selfishness and disloyalty, they end up showing us that we deserve better.  If you're so unfortunate as to be a victim of such acts of betrayal, you can only hope the cheater is considerate enough to own up to their missteps.  But we all know full well that, in many cases, the cheater is either caught in the act or leaves behind a trail of hints that ultimately culminates in their undoing. The more classy thing to do is to discuss their feelings openly with their partner before straying.  If all talks lead to an impasse or a further escalation of tensions, both parties should take it as a ...