A relationship begins to decay as soon as one or both partners gets in the habit of personalizing blame.  The formal psychological term for this is “causal attribution.” In a nutshell, when something goes wrong, one person can assign blame to the other by attributing the problem to what they perceive as his or her weaknesses, flaws, or characteristic behavior. The accuser make things personal by beginning sentences with the word “you." Examples may include: “You never listen” "You always screw it up" “You’re always too busy” "You're never on time" "You never take my feelings into account" "This is so typical of you" It goes without saying that this type of attribution can be catastrophic. Personalizing blame can elicit defensive behavior from the other person that may potentially lead to a vicious cycle of blame. Once one person starts pointing the finger, the other tends to follow suit. And if neither is willing ...

Let's face it: Some people would rather argue or cut contact with you than actually make an attempt to clear the air. They'd prefer to hold grudges than work to resolve conflict. Perhaps they were in the wrong and refuse to say sorry. Or, you were at fault and have already apologized, but they persist in giving you the cold shoulder. Most likely, the individual is either (1) immature (2) resentful of something you have that he or she doesn't and wants to spread the misery (3) upset over other personal issues and taking it out on you. At any rate, a person who is that intransigent has to have a deep sense of pride. They want to win, and taking any sort of conciliatory posture in their book smacks of backing down, so they refuse to change. But you know something? One of the most admirable qualities one can possess is humility. Those who refuse to meet in the middle will have a hard time keeping friends and romantic partners. Who wants to be around someone so arrog...