Being the social creatures that we are, we all want people to like us. We all want to be in people's good graces. After all, it opens the door to new job or relationship possibilities, so why not?  The danger comes when you aim to impress someone to feel better about yourself -- when being "you" just isn't good enough. This creates the potential for losing your identity entirely in the process. Rather than living your most authentic life so that those who value you for who you are come along for the ride, you're bending over backwards to fit into the mold of how others want to perceive you. See the difference? For example, I know a great many people who aren't materialistic by nature, but they tote around expensive handbags and drive luxurious cars just so that they gain gain others' approval. Somewhere along the way, they bought into the misguided notion that projecting wealth will earn the respect of others, as if their positive feelings for fancy brand...

Have you ever depended on someone -- maybe a little too much -- to fill your day with happiness? I think most of us can concede that we've been there.  Whether we're talking about our closest friends, relatives, or our partner, there's no doubt that these individuals greatly enhance our lives.  But a distinction needs to be made between "enhancing" and "completing." When someone serves as an enhancement, they add to an already enriching life. They're icing on the cake, if you will. However, when we lean on the individual in order to feel complete, it suggests something was missing to begin with and we're looking to them to fill the void. This is problematic in more ways than one. Ask yourself these point-blank questions: 1. What if they were to betray you? 2. What if they were to move and forget about you? 3. What if they were to cheat? 4. What if they were to lose interest in the relationship entirely? 5. What if they were to pass away? I'm ...

Your thoughts, positive or negative, trigger certain emotions.  Sometimes you may not understand why you're experiencing a certain feeling -- be it rage, regret, or optimism -- until you do a little mental gymnastics. Ask yourself this question: What specific thoughts crossed my mind to spark these feelings? Maybe it was thinking about your boss dropping a project on you at the last minute. Perhaps a commercial ran that you remembered first aired five years ago while you were having a terrible fight with your ex-spouse about his drinking habit, which ultimately derailed the marriage. Maybe your friend's putting in a good word at work for the new sales manager position you've been eying elevated your mood. Sometimes the most seemingly inconsequential event can stir up a range of emotions. I, for example, often find myself feeling a bit glum on cloudy days. Yet, you can probably relate to feeling rather ecstatic at the thought of Friday being just a few hours away.  Whether i...

We give up our power when we become convinced we don't have any. What power, you ask? While we may not be able to control everything that happens to us, we have the power to shape what comes after that. In other words, we can control what we do with what happens to us. Though it may seem difficult at times, we should try to look at hardships and challenges in a positive light. Notice how we emerge stronger after overcoming obstacles life throws our way, and are better able to navigate future ones. We should never take a defeatist attitude in life. Getting down on yourself won't solve anything. Instead, believe in the power within you to shape your own destiny. If you want to effect change, let your voice be heard. It doesn't mean you'll get what you want every time, but you will at least have tried. Imagine if people who changed the course of history -- George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Harriet Tubman, Albert Einstein, and Martin Luther King Jr. among th...

It isn't your partner in life. It isn't your best friend. It's you. If you don't love yourself, how do you expect to love others? If you don't believe in yourself, how can you believe in those around you? It all starts with you . Happiness resides on the inside. Material items and other people may make you happier in the beginning, but if deep down you aren't happy with yourself, that feeling is ephemeral. You should never rely on a partner or friend to complete you. A significant other, friend or relative only enhances your life, not completes it. It's unfair to put that kind of burden on another human being. And let's face it: People aren't always dependable. When least expected, they may cheat on, lie to, or backstab you. Or, they may not be around one day when you really need them. What then? You should never rely upon external factors like people and material stuff to make you feel happy or complete. The things that give us the m...