There's a very thin line between being nice and allowing oneself to be a complete doormat -- a line many kind-hearted people struggle to identify.  Here are a few indicators that you probably should tone down the niceness factor just a little bit: 1. No matter how many t imes people let you down, you continue to issue them free passes.  All it takes is an ostensibly heart-felt apology for you to take someone back. Perhaps you're still with your boyfriend even after he cheated on you three times. Maybe you've kept in your life an old friend who has been spotted talking behind your back on a number of occasions. It's important to recognize that saying sorry means nothing if the person repeats the very behavior they express contrition for.  2. You constantly put others' needs and wishes before your own.  One thing is to help out those who find themselves in a real bind. Another is to bend over backwards for them at the expense of your own happiness, even when their...

I've learned that if there's anyone you should be wary of, it's a person who tries very hard to be everyone's friend -- the kind who wants to be liked by everyone and his mother. If they're that intent on gaining everyone's approval, it probably means that they are not genuine people. They will do and say just about anything just to curry others' favor. Then, when being nice to you no longer benefits them in any way, they may fall off the grid. You may never see or hear from them ever again. In other words, they're as fake as they come! Chances are you've come across someone like this at work, in the gym, or someplace else. Surely, there's nothing wrong with being polite to others. But when people overwhelm you with flattery and nice gestures, it begs the question: Why are they being so nice, especially if you've done nothing to deserve it? Perhaps they're trying to overcompensate for their low self-esteem, or they're...

Beware of people who seem awfully nice for no reason, as this usually means they're trying to get something out of you. Notice that I use the word "usually." There are a handful of people out there who are genuinely nice and expect nothing in return, but they're the exception rather than the rule. For the most part, people instinctively know that when they're nice to someone -- including giving them unsolicited compliments -- they're likely to create a favorable impression and put them in a good mood, thus making them more likely to say "yes" once a request is made. As I've noted in other posts, the principle of reciprocity holds that when someone does something nice for us, we feel compelled to pay it forward in the future. You see this all the time with waiters at restaurants who will butter up clientele in hopes of coming away with a good tip. For example, I've seen waiters and waitresses do everything from chat up my gregariou...

From what I've observed at work as well as on Facebook, there are three surefire ways to get people to like you more. I've dubbed this the "CIG Model" so that they're easier to remember: 1. Compliments: Let's face it: Everyone likes flattery, and this is an easy way to get on people's good side. Whether it's complimenting their shirt or their new car, people build positive feelings toward those who make them feel good. On Facebook, this is manifested in the form of a "like" or comment in response to a person's post. 2. Interest : When we show interest in people's lives, they become more interested in ours. If the posts I see on Facebook are any indication, people especially love to be asked questions about their kids. They also like when others express interest in their hobbies, where they do their shopping, and so on. 3. Giving stuff : It comes as no surprise that among the most highly regarded people in the office are those wh...