At the end of the day, what people think of you is none of your business. Why? Because your happiness doesn't depend on other people. It resides within you! So why should the joy and satisfaction you get from life be contingent upon their opinion of you, which may be faulty to begin with? No matter how hard you may try to please others, you will always fall short in someone's eyes. How others see us is not necessarily who we are. They merely base their opinions on how they perceive us. And, remember, human beings are conditioned to accept perception as reality when they don't have all the facts. It's akin to judging a book by its cover. Never allow the noise of others' opinions drown out your inner voice.  The deeper we get sucked into others' opinions -- and the harder we seek their validation in order to feel whole -- the easier it is to lose ourselves. Obviously, we all want to do our part to cultivate a favorable image of ourselves. No one ...

If there's something we can agree on, it's that haters lurk in our midst. Whether it's at work or in school, will always be someone who doesn't take kindly to something about us.  Maybe it's our gift for gab, our age, our impressive academic credentials, our BMW, or our ever-expanding circle of friends. And the funny thing is that some of these people secretly admire and look up to us, even though they would never admit it. But rather than worry about the jealous and envious -- whom many would regard as haters -- we should instead focus on the people who bring joy into our lives.  The ones who respect and cheer us on. The people who hold no ill will toward us.  The sad thing is that it isn't always easy to tell who likes us and who doesn't because, as pointed out in earlier entries, some people are, well, masters at faking it. And even if you know that, say, Joe your co-worker isn't your biggest fan, are you really going to ...

Becoming overly preoccupied with what others are thinking -- especially about you -- and doing is not conducive to a happy life. In fact, it can bring on feelings of anxiety and even depression if one isn't careful. When I say "don't think too much about people," I don't mean blocking out thoughts of, say, your adorable daughter's first steps, or repressing thoughts of your sister's recent promotion.  There are obviously favorable events tied to those we love that in turn bring us joy because we care deeply for them.  No, I speak of negative thoughts that can send us down the rabbit hole of overthinking. Examples include: Your boss throws you under the bus in a meeting, and you find yourself unable to let it go the rest of the day -- even though she apologized profusely and chalked it up to things she's going through in her personal life. Your partner agrees to pick you up from work on her day off work since the two of you are curre...

Many people find happiness more elusive than it should be. A happy moment is often a fleeting one for them because before long they are right back to thinking about the very things and people that dispirit them -- whether it's their job, ex boyfriend, or the laundry list of chores that awaits them when they get home. But happiness doesn't have to evade us. In fact, in can be a lot easier to achieve -- and sustain --than we think. Below are two ways to attain longer-lasting happiness. 1. Live in the present. Mother Teresa put it succintly: "Be happy in the moment -- that's enough. Each moment is all we need, not more." True happiness lies in the here and now, and we must guard against the temptation to escape mentally to the past or future when things in the present may not be going as smoothly as we like. Rest assured that as long as you remain positive and refuse to give up on yourself, your fortunes will turn around. You've navigated through stor...

Steer clear of those who hurt you more than they love you. Avoid those who drain you more than they replenish you. Stay far away from people who bring you more stress than they do peace and joy. Distance yourself from those who try to stunt your growth rather than applaud it. I know what you're probably thinking: In principle, this sounds fine and dandy, but you couldn't possibly avoid every person who occasionally makes you feel like crap, from your toxic boss to your meddling in-laws. To a certain extent, that's true. But one of the most effective ways to navigate relationships with difficult people is to not take what they say or do to heart. If you take everything they say personally, you're essentially surrendering power over your emotions to them. You're enabling them to win. No one has permission to make you feel bad unless you grant it to them. Remember, many of these people are unhappy and disgruntled in their own lives, so they see to it ...

How people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves . If they treat others with kindness and respect, chances are they respect and are kind and compassionate with themselves as well. If, however, they treat others terribly, deep down they're likely unhappy with themselves and, more generally, with the life they lead overall. Narcissists tend to fall under this category because even though they may project an air of self-confidence, they're really trying to overcompensate for self-doubt and low self-esteem. It's been said that misery loves company. If people are feeling miserable, they often look for ways to upset others so those negative vibes can rub off on them. Maybe they tell you that you look fat in that dress, they leave you hanging with no explanation after you both agreed to meet up for drinks, or they reel off a list of your past mistakes -- all to get under your skin. Sure, you might  simply catch someone at the wrong m...

Why wait until tomorrow to take a risk that can improve your life for the better? Whether it's applying for your dream position at another company or opening your heart again to someone after a bad breakup, you can't allow the fear of failure to paralyze you from taking action. Otherwise, you'll be left wondering what could have happened while someone else lands a great position or partner that could have been yours. Don't let negativity get in the way of your dreams. We only have one life to live on earth, so why not pursue our goals at full throttle? Rather than focus on what could go wrong, concentrate on what can -- on what will -- go right. I won't lie to you and say it'll be easy. Yes, you're likely to come up short -- multiple times. Yes, there will be days where nothing seems to go right and the easiest thing would be to throw in the towel. But if we didn't have to struggle to achieve what we want in life, would it feel as rewarding...

I have found that nothing puts me in a better mood than distracting myself -- even if momentarily -- from the present. That can mean picturing myself lounging on a sun-dappled beach, surrounded by turquoise water (not as good as actually being there, but I'll take it); spending a few moments watching bloopers or videos of adorable animals; immersing myself in a compelling book; or listening to my favorite songs on my iPod Touch. The key is to disconnect from the moment. If you spend ALL your time ruminating on your carries and worries, life will become very monotonous. Sometimes you just need a short break from your annoying coworkers, nagging neighbor, and others who drive you up the wall. Such an intermission -- however brief -- can leave you feeling more relaxed and/or energized. I realize this is easier said than done for some people. Not everyone lives in their head or has the inclination to do so, especially those who tend to be more outgoing. However, everyone ...

Want to be happier? The   less you attach your happiness to people or material things, the happier you'll be. Why? Because material things come and go, as do people. They're transitory.  What brings us true joy are experiences, which can create lasting memories. While things may have ended badly with your ex-boyfriend, there's no harm in conceding that you cherished -- perhaps to this day -- the times you spent with him, even if you don't want him back in your life. Or, you may reminisce about the trip you and your friends took to Cancun while you were in college, even though time and distance have caused something of a rift in your friendship. See what I mean? Focus on the experience and how it enriched your life, not on the person. Relationships evolve just like the people in them. Depending on someone else to be happy sets one up for disappointment in the event that person does a one-eighty, which most of us have experienced at some poin...

I've had a few of my readers tell me that they've hit a rough patch of late, so I thought it apropos to write an uplifting post this morning to get everyone's weekend off to a magnificent start. There's no question that life is hard and often unfair. Bad things happen to good people all the time. We're confronted with tough situations we never saw coming, and sometimes such challenges seem insurmountable. But I'm here to tell you that every storm passes. As long as you stay strong and keep hope alive, you will get through it. The only thing in life that has no remedy is death. If the problems you're facing are not life-and-death, you can -- you will -- overcome them. Whether you recently got out of a bad relationship, unexpectedly lost your job, or are not on speaking terms with a longtime friend, one day you'll look back on it all and say, "I didn't see it back then, but things really did turn out for the best." Human beings have...

Whatever makes you happy, do more of it today. Whatever brings a smile to your face, do more of it today. Whatever you're passionate about, do more of it today. Whatever you enjoy fighting for, do more of it today. Whatever lifts your spirits, do more of it today. Whatever makes you grateful to live another day, do more of it today. Whatever makes you feel energized, do more of it today. Whatever enhances your well-being, do more of it today. Whatever bolsters your self-esteem, do more of it today. Whatever brings you closer to those you love the most, do it today. Whatever makes you laugh, do more of it today. Whatever enlivens your day, do more of it today. Life is short. Why put off until tomorrow doing the things that give your life meaning and purpose? Whether you love reading, writing, cooking, playing the guitar, volunteering at the local shelter, playing video games, or traveling to a new hotspot every so often, never cease doing the things you l...

Each day brings challenges, to be sure, but it also brings at least one reason to smile and cherish life. Maybe it's the mere fact that you're alive to see another day. Maybe it's your spouse, kids, friends, or pets. Perhaps it's your extensive book collection, side business, or the charities you're active in. Whenever I feel the urge to complain about something, I quickly try to cancel out that negative feeling by thinking about something I'm deeply appreciative for and passionate about. As bad as things get, there's always a silver living that can turn our frown into a smile -- however fleeting it may be.  Even if you've come across a string of bad days, if today is even slightly better than yesterday, that alone is a step in the right direction. For example, let's say you're on a diet and are aiming to drop 20 pounds. After a day or so of dieting, you weigh yourself and, to your dismay, you've actually gained a pound. You repeat t...

We should all prioritize being around that rare breed of people who do one specific thing: bring out the best in us . We know we're in good company when we feel comfortable, relaxed, intelligent, self-confident and, most importantly, happy. That's why we should strive to be around those who elicit these favorable qualities in us. That doesn't mean these individuals can't provide constructive criticism. Sometimes we need those we care about to give it to us straight when we neglect to notice or confront our shortcomings ourselves. But there's a marked difference between offering constructive feedback for your own good that comes from the heart and putting someone down to feel better about themselves. The latter group is the type we should distance ourselves from. Sometimes, though, we go through tough moments where the only one there for us is ourselves. It's during these difficult times that we must count on ourselves for pep talks; we become our own b...

How to Understand People would like to wish you and your family a very Merry Christmas! May it be filled with ample love, peace, health, and joy. Is there anything in particular you asked Santa for this year? Where will you be spending the day, and doing what exactly? My wife and I plan to spend the day with our families before hitting up the movie theater tonight. Share your thoughts and please be sure to also share the blog with your friends and family. Again, from our family to yours, have a very Merry Christmas!