When people judge you and you become bothered and angry by what they say, you lead them to believe they're right. When people judge you and what they say goes in one of your ears and out the other, you're demonstrating one thing: you couldn't care less what they think. This is the posture we should adopt. No one can make you feel bad about yourself without your consent. Why should you care about what they say? No one's a better judge of your character and personality than you. No one knows you better than you know yourself. Why give such judgments any importance when, at the end of the day, what you think about yourself is all that matters? If you judge yourself to be lazy, rude, hurtful, or irresponsible, it's up to you decide whether those traits ought to be changed. Change them because you wish to do so, not because others are prodding you to. If you judge yourself to be bookish or ambitious, it's no one's place to tell you to change those...

Let's face it: We're all different. Some of us are shy and meek. Some of us are bold and aggressive. Some of us are bookish and cerebral. And still others love being the life of the party. No one personality is better than the other.  Just because I'm an introverted bookworm and you're a garrulous social butterfly doesn't mean either of us should prod the other into changing. We may neither hang out a lot nor have much in common, but we can still get along and communicate with one another tactfully. People can share their interests with others without any expectation of the person liking them. Yes, people are more likely to associate with like-minded individuals who share their passions -- baseball fans with other baseball fans, politics junkies with other politics junkies -- but we should still be accepting of others' personality, interests, and lifestyle, even if they don't align with ours. Yet, there are those who attack others who are diffe...

In recent weeks, I've written several posts encouraging readers to take pride in their true selves and not change their personality, quirks, values, or beliefs simply to appease others. And with that I segue into this important question: If you had to choose one quality you'd like to be known for, what would it be? Here are a few examples: Being kind Being sweet Being smart Being hard-working Being genuine Being humble Being sociable Being honest Being loyal While I wouldn't mind being recognized for my hard-working nature or humility, I think intelligence takes the cake. I am far from the most gregarious person at work -- I won't win any awards for my people skills anytime soon -- but people regard me as intelligent, and to me, it's the ultimate compliment. I was always a fantastic student -- getting everything from history trophies and reading certificates to writing medals. I graduated from college summa cum laude. Though I'm not i...

As I've pointed out in other posts, being alone and being lonely are two completely different things. When people wish to be alone, they usually do so deliberately, whereas being lonely tends to be an undesirable consequence of a particular event, like breaking up with your boyfriend, moving to a new city, etc. People can desire to be alone for a host of reasons: To clear their heads To gather their thoughts To recharge after a long day at work To read or pursue other solitary tasks in a quiet environment They're not in the mood to be around people, especially after someone has done something to disappoint them And many more... Unfortunately, sometimes society makes people who crave alone time out to be weirdos. They're constantly given labels like "antisocial" and "stuck-up." Oftentimes, these descriptors have no basis in reality. Many people -- especially the highly extroverted, who thrive on social interaction -- fail to understand tha...

I wear contact lenses roughly 90% of the time. I only wear glasses when I'm watching TV at home, right before going to sleep, or when I'm experiencing an issue with one or both eyes that precludes putting on the lenses, such as an allergic reaction or infection. I've always wondered whether people regard those who wear glasses as smarter. These days, it seems glasses are becoming a fashion statement more than anything else. I've seen countless athletes and celebrities sporting black-framed glasses in recent years. Research suggests people instinctively associate higher intelligence with glasses. In fact, studies show throwing a pair on can actually help you succeed in job interviews. The fact of the matter is that glasses make a person appear bookish. For many people, they might signal that one is nearsighted because they read a lot. A study presented at the 2012 American Academy of Ophthalmology Annual Meeting suggested that myopia (i.e., nearsightedness) was l...