Many of us get into relationships and fall into one common trap: losing one's self-identity. Both individuals spend so much time together that they neglect their personal needs and interests -- the ones independent of the relationship. This can only lead to trouble on several fronts. For one, when two people are attached at the hip, especially early on in the relationship, they may eventually settle into routines and grow bored of each other. Both people should continue to cultivate the hobbies they enjoyed before they hooked up. Similarly, they should continue working on goals -- career-related or otherwise -- that they set out to achieve when they were single. Not only does this ensure continual progress in their personal or professional lives, but it means they have something they can share with one another that goes beyond themselves. This, in turn, keeps the relationship fresh. Giving each other space is doubly beneficial: it affords you the opportunity to miss e...

Many of us feel pressured to be the best at everything we do, whether in our personal or professional lives.  At work, you may feel as though you have to be a jack of all trades and master of them all, from creating complex spreadsheets to possessing the leadership skills to guide your subordinates. In your aerobics or karate class, you might be hard on yourself because you're not progressing as quickly as your peers. And at home, perhaps you're disappointed that you're not as great at cooking or handiwork as you thought. I'm here to tell you one thing: No one is perfect. It takes time to become very good at something, and given the fact that we're so strapped for time, we may never become as good at everything as we'd like. Unfortunately, far too many of us are reluctant to ask for help. We try to figure everything out on our own, only to get frustrated when we're not getting the results we want.  Even experts at their craft had to start som...

I currently work as a copywriter in the travel industry. While I have a stable job in a stable company that has been around since the 70s, I've realized that, after several years in the same position, I have hit something of a wall. I no longer feel challenged in this role; my creativity is being stifled and my skills have flatlined. It'd be easy for me to rest on my laurels and continue showing up merely for a paycheck. But I know I can do better. I'm too young to get complacent. That's why I've begun looking within my company -- and outside of it -- for other opportunities. My ultimate goal is to find a position that's more writing-intensive than the one I'm in now. I've also refused to let a sense of complacency seep into my marriage. Traveling to a new destination once a year has helped keep it fresh and exciting. I also do my best to take my wife to different restaurants, parks, and other venues every once in a while. If I ever feel as t...

Gossiping always comes back to bite you in the rear end, which is why you should avoid it at all costs. Either the person who you're gossiping about uncovers your treachery, or the ones you're gossiping with stab you in the back by telling the individual it's you doing the dirty work behind the scenes. Even if your target is so vile as to deserve what you're doing to her, you don't want to get involved. You never really know who you can trust, which is why you should maintain a neutral position at all times. You can rest assured that you'll be pressured to join in on the bashing. It's at that point that you should politely decline. This is how it works: People have a herd mentality. If you're not with them in talking smack about Betty behind her back, surely you must be against them, making you a threat. What you have to do is say -- nicely but firmly -- that you don't want to take sides. You want to keep it professional at all times. But the...

A JCPenney employee was sent home from work for wearing shorts that the company deemed too revealing. But wait, it gets better. Get this: She purchased the shorts at none other than JCPenney!  Her employer didn't seem to care where the clothes came from -- only that it violated the dress code. The woman, Sylva Stoel of Sioux Falls, South Dakota, said she never learned at the company orientation that dressing in this way wasn't in keeping with dress policy. After being asked repeatedly to go home and change, the self-proclaimed feminist decided to quit instead. Stoel asserted that she's fed up with dress codes that target women, adding that such codes tend to be sexist. She said she bought the shorts thinking they were professional, considering they showed nothing but her legs. My view: I don't think she was being dishonest when she said she had no clue wearing shorts went against the dress code. However, once Stoel was told it did and was asked to go home and c...

Since graduating from college, I've worked for 3 companies, and I have seen at least one workplace relationship bloom at each one. It seems most companies don't explicitly forbid workplace relationships, but people involved in them aim to keep the relationships under wraps nonetheless. The danger in having a romantic relationship with a coworker is obvious: what happens if the relationship goes sour? Would it create a more hostile work environment for those in the relationship as well as everyone around them? The bottom line is that you don't want to do anything to jeopardize your job. If both people are certain they can leave their relationship at home and not let their relationship woes (if any) seem into their work lives, then I don't see a problem with carrying on. This, of course, is assuming both people work in the same department. If you work for Sales and he works for Human Resources, you likely won't interact with one another, posing even fewer pote...