Do you consider your partner your best friend? If so, your relationship may be better equipped to last than couples who don't have those very sentiments. Studies show that those who consider their partner their best friend tend to be far more satisfied in their relationship than those who don't.  This finding is consistent with research showing that relationships characterized by more companionate love – those high in affection, friendship, security, comfort, and mutual interests – last longer and are more satisfying. In fact, companionate love is more closely linked with relationship satisfaction than is passionate love, which entails intense feelings of attraction and preoccupation with one’s partner. Other research shows that those in friendship-centric love relationships feel they have a highly likable partner, and that shared companionship is an integral part of the love.  A study of over 600 married individuals revealed that those with hig...

If merely saying "I love you" to one's partner countless times determined whether a relationship or marriage would last, we'd see far fewer divorces and breakups in our lifetime. Those three words, as we very well know, get tossed around quite a lot.  Unfortunately, the divorce rate is so high in part because people fail to back their declarations of love with concrete actions.  What good is professing to love someone if a person doesn't demonstrate it? Actions lends such words substance.  To give you another example, you can tell people, "I am intent on losing weight," but if you continue to eat fatty foods every night, your words come off as little more than hot air. So why do people think stating they love their partner is enough? Some couples have been together for a long time. Once complacency begins to set in, they may stop trying as hard, assuming their history and the comfort they feel in the relationship alone will carr...

Ladies, if a man wants you only for your body, kick him to the curb! Don't waste time and energy thinking that he'll change and that you'll be the one to facilitate it. Such men hardly ever change. Once they're players, they're players for life. If you give in, you only risk being used and getting your heart broken. Realize that many men have no qualms about swooping in, getting women invested emotionally, and then flying the coop once they have set their sights on a new conquest. Now, if you're actually looking for no-strings-attached fun -- perhaps following a rough divorce, or because you are steering clear of serious commitment at this moment --  then you can disregard the tips in this post and press on. But if you're tired of the games and are craving a deep connection with someone worthwhile, you should cut loose men who: Only want to meet up late at night  Never ask how your day is going  Never seem interested in your dreams and...

Many people swear by the notion that there is only have one person in the world whom we can call our "soulmate." In their view, destiny has picked out one individual who complements them on myriad levels -- physically, mentally, emotionally, and even spiritually -- like no one else. And the ones lucky enough to be in long-term relationships, not surprisingly, say they're confident their partner is their other half. But is this really true? Can only one person in this entire world -- mind you, there are 7.6 billion human beings living on this planet -- be ideally suited for us? While I would love to believe that life plays out like a fairy tale, I can't subscribe to the idea that we couldn't click and carry on successful relationships with several people -- whether we live in London or Las Vegas. Instead, I believe that we can have varying degrees of compatibility with different people, and it's up to us to decide which differences are too much to bea...

They say that happiness starts in the mind, and that is no exaggeration.  What people fail to realize is that we can actually put a positive spin on many of the things that leave us feeling anxious or sad. Of course, there are serious circumstances that you can't put a happy face on (e.g., news of an illness), but this technique still works for a wide range of situations in which a simple change in one's outlook can radically improve their day.  For example, many people fret over aging and reminisce about the "good old days." Instead of dwelling on the past, though, why not think that your best days are actually ahead of you?  Think about it: The younger version of yourself that you visualize was probably more naive and inexperienced. Chances are you were not as financially secure and had not the faintest idea what you wanted to do with your life.  So, in reality, you're in a better place now -- wiser and with a firmer handle on your goals an...

Which month of the year do you think sees the most divorces being filed? If you said January, you're correct. What an awful way to start the year, right? I can only surmise that married couples refrain from filing for divorce in November or December so as to avoid disrupting the holidays for their family. You can only imagine how painful that would be for them, especially if kids are in the picture. I, myself, witnessed my parents getting divorced when I was only 3. The whole child support/visitation thing was really rough. Sometimes I felt like a piece of property being sent back and forth between two households via FedEx. Though I'm not sure whether they officially got divorced in January, I'm certain it didn't take place over the holidays. I suppose some couples who take this huge step in January see it as paving the way for a great year instead of a bad one, especially if the marriage is so tumultuous that both parties couldn't get out of it fast e...

Studies show that far more women are skipping marriage today than was the case two, even three decades ago. Plus, what many women are saying on social media regarding the perils of tying the knot corroborates these findings. This morning, I was sifting through posts on the Facebook page for Psychology Today. One of them posed an intriguing question: Do women these days still find great value in getting married? Judging from the comments to the post, many of them do not. One woman stated plainly that after dating several non-committal men, she's grown tired of pushing marriage on these guys with nothing to show for it. Another said that she refuses to take the plunge again after being cheated on by two of her husbands. Still another admitted that she's never wanted to be tied down, instead valuing the flexibility of singlehood. For many women, the perks of being married -- like additional tax and insurance benefits -- just aren't sufficient to offset the problems tha...

Utah state senator Todd Weiler wants Utah to declare pornography a public health crisis. He's introduced new legislation that calls for education, prevention, research, and policy change at the community and societal level in order to tackle what he says is a pornography epidemic that is hurting people in Utah and throughout the U.S. Utah has one of the nation’s highest rates of porn use. Weiler insists that this isn't a veiled attempt at foisting his conservative beliefs on people. He says he simply wishes to raise awareness of the many perils of pornography. In addition to being highly addictive, Weiler asserts it undermines families, strains relationships, and plays a key role in many divorces in Utah. But some people feel pornography isn't as damaging as Weiler is making it out to be. In fact, they say porn is a healthy outlet that can actually infuse excitement into marriages, particularly those that have hit a dry patch in the intimacy department. I think Weiler...

A study finds that couples who spend big bucks on their wedding often end up having shorter-lived marriages than those who have cheaper weddings. For the study, two economics professors surveyed over 3,000 people and found that the more expensive the wedding is, the sooner the couple is likely to divorce. On the other hand, couples who spend less than $1,000 tend to have longer-lasting marriages. An expensive wedding can cause financial strain early in the marriage, leading to tension in the relationship. Not surprisingly, the top predictor of divorce is having arguments over money. Many people (especially women) dream of having a lavish, fairytale-like wedding, but this study shows that doing so could negatively impact the marriage. Though the study doesn't discuss buying expensive rings and paying for an expensive honeymoon, I'm sure those kinds of purchases also have the potential to get the marriage off to a rocky start. I'm happy to say that my wife and I pla...

As I've gotten older, I've become only more convinced of one thing: Life is never going to be exactly as you want it to be. You may have an idea as to how you want your career, relationships, and friendships to be. You can try your best to will things toward certain outcomes -- whether by manipulation or sheer persistence --but they will never be ideal. The main reason why is because people themselves are too volatile. Experiences and life circumstances shape us into who we are, a process constantly in flux. I wish that I were a lot closer to many of my friends and relatives, but life has pulled us in different directions. Responsibilities like work and children, and even factors like distance, can change the whole complexion of a relationship. And as much as I wish I could choose who I work with and the tasks I am responsible for, this just isn't feasible. There are aspects of my job that I like and others that make it hard to get out of bed in the morning. So wh...

Its slogan is straightforward: "Life is short. Have an affair." Ashley Madison, whose website boasts it's the "world's leading married dating service for discreet encounters," was breached last month by a group of hackers who now appear to have made good on their threat to post nearly 10 gigabytes' worth of data on the internet. The data includes names, street addresses, and email addresses associated with millions of payment transactions. Investigators say the data -- chunks of it, at least -- appears to be legitimate. Is this the work of karma kicking these adulterers in the behind? Having an affair is, to me, among the most despicable acts a person can commit. The second people even contemplate cheating on their spouse, that's when a serious conversation is in order. If they aren't sure they can remain faithful, they should file for divorce before things snowball out of control. The ramifications are far worse when children are involved....

First, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner announced they were splitting up. Shortly after, Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert called it quits. Then Gwen Stefani filed for divorce from Gavin Rossdale. As if that weren't enough, Reba McEntire and her husband of 26 years, Narvel Blackstock, also ended their marriage. It seems breakups are all the rage now in Hollywood. I presume that between shows, concerts, filming, and traveling, celebrities' busy schedules put an immense strain on their marriages. I could also see the more jealous types bristling at all the attention their partners might get from doting fans. Not helping matters is the fact that infidelity in the industry remains rampant.  Affleck and Shelton allegedly had affairs that ultimately led their respective marriages to crash and burn. Another culprit might very well be the media. These days, virtually everything a celebrity does is put under a microscope. Whether one is spotted hanging with a friend or play...

You would think that women would naturally gravitate toward single men when looking for someone to flirt with. If the man is wearing a ring, that automatically deter coquettes from approaching them, right? Not necessarily! Based on what I've read and seen in the workplace, some women actually prefer flirting with married men. In fact, one of my co-workers tried to pull this stunt on me last year. You may be sitting there thinking "This guy is off his rocker," but when you stop and think about it, the reasons why some women would do this are fairly obvious. For one, if she isn't looking for anything serious, a married man offers a convenient means through which she can get some attention without things getting too sticky. After all, she knows he'll be going home to his wife, so no harm, no foul. Next, the mere fact that a woman cared enough about the guy to say "I do" draws flirtatious women to him. In their eyes, there must be something rather ...

As you know, I love to observe and comment on human behavior, and that includes patterns I see among people of a certain age. I've worked with three divorced men who have gone on to either remarry or have a serious relationship with someone else. What I've noticed about said women is that they: Are considerably younger (we're talking 15-20 younger) Are child-free (whether by choice or for other reasons)  Have never been married themselves Clearly got some kind of benefit from the relationship (money, citizenship in the U.S., etc.) Usually meet the men at work And this makes perfect sense. For one, many men prefer younger women to begin with, as they tend to score higher on the attractiveness meter. As men see it, they usually have fewer wrinkles and health issues, not to mention better bodies. Hence, many men assume that younger women make better partners in bed. These men are all in their 50s and have already begun looking for someone who could "take c...

What's the one thing that men wish women did more often in the bedroom? Not surprisingly, it's to initiate sex. Many men are frustrated by the fact that their partners expect them to always be the aggressors in the bedroom. "Why should I always be the one to break the ice?" they wonder. "It's the 21st century." Women could be reluctant to take the first step for one or more reasons: They prefer to stick to traditional gender roles in which the man pursues the woman They're afraid of rejection, should their partners not be in the mood Initiating makes them feel slutty  The issue is that many guys are left feeling rejected themselves when it becomes apparent that their partners don't want to take the initiative.  So what is a guy in this situation to do? He can start by talking openly with his partner about how he feels. If his wife's initiating sex would make him feel more desired, he should be upfront about it.  If s...

People will serve up all kinds of excuses for why they decide to cheat, among them: The passion in the relationship/marriage is gone Lack of an emotional connection One partner works too much or is always away on business Lack of sex Lack of excitement and spontaneity An inextinguishable attraction for someone else drove them to cheat The lover is providing something the cheater is currently lacking (money, affection, etc.) "It just happened" "I needed a break from marriage and kids" It sickens me that so many people try to get away with being unfaithful. Those who want the cake and want to eat it too -- having a relationship or affair on the side while pretending everything with his or her partner is hunky-dory -- are downright selfish and despicable in my book.   Both men and women do this, even though statistics show it's men who generally cheat more. Even if the person's modus operandi is to keep the cheating under wraps for fear of get...