It isn't always easy to believe in ourselves. We can hit any number of roadblocks in life, often through no fault of our own, whether it's not meeting our dietary goals or landing that book contract as quickly as we like.  But as cliche as it sounds, patience and persistence are integral. If you don't feel deep down that you have what it takes to make it happen, you won't.  When you believe in yourself, everything the naysayers have told you -- that you can't do this, that you can't achieve that -- fades into oblivion.  When you believe in yourself, self-doubt gives way to self-confidence, propelling you to accomplish goals you never thought possible. When you believe in yourself, you stop telling yourself that every one except you is capable. You begin to accept that you're just as equipped -- if not more so -- to succeed.  When you believe in yourself, you cease proffering excuses for why you can't do something. You stop saying "I'll try....

Have you shrunk yourself out of fear of change, failure, or the unknown? Have you carved out big plans for yourself, only to continue putting them off year after year? We've all been there. Ah, yes, that nagging self-doubt that all but paralyzes us from working toward goals big and small -- and induces us to give up prematurely. No one says you have to give in to those pesky negative thoughts. When they resurface, stop and ask yourself this question: "Who says I can't succeed?" If it's you, it's time to reframe your thinking. And if it's others who are attempting to demotivate you, you're certainly in the wrong company. As a matter of fact, if you're willing to invest the time, energy, and resources into making your dreams a reality, you can achieve anything! Rather than harp on what may go wrong, why not envisage things going well for you? If you always fear failure -- keeping you ensconced in your cozy comfort zone -- you ma...

How do you know if someone you hold in high esteem really feels the same way about you? What's a surefire way to tell whether they're in for the long haul, or if they'll disappear when least expected? Let them see you at your worst -- with health issues, money woes, and problems at home or work. Allow them to see you racked with self-doubt, anxiety, or depression. If, despite all this, they choose to stand by you, then you know they genuinely care about you. Those who bolt at the first sign of hardship aren't true friends or loving partners. They're likely in the relationship for selfish reasons, though they might try to create the opposite impression. Obviously, we should never take on the role of savior for anyone, as they're responsible for solving their problems on their own. Still, if we truly value the individual, what kind of a friend or partner would we be to abandon them in their time of greatest need? At the same time, those who only ...

No matter what we aspire to accomplish in life, we must never allow our fear of failure to override our goals -- however lofty they may seem. Let us not let our comfort zones confine us. Let us not allow self-doubt to undermine our will to succeed! We can do anything we set our hearts and minds to. Sure, we may not succeed the first, second, or even the fifth time. And success may entail making major sacrifices that take a heavy physical and emotional toll on us. But if we want it badly enough, we shall prevail. No matter how many times life tries to throw a monkey wrench in the works, we find a way around such hurdles. We see setbacks not as a sign that it may be time to call it quits, but as an opportunity to reaffirm our commitment to the cause. And we mustn't allow the naysayers in our midst -- even when the detractor is ourselves -- dissuade us from forging ahead. Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, remind yourself of how far you've come...

People who try to bring you down may not realize it, but they're already below you . A good person doesn't hold grudges, seek retribution, or try to make others' lives miserable. They try to talk things through. They strive to clear the air and reach a consensus, effectively getting rid of any bad blood between both parties.  If you've made an attempt to mend fences but the other person refuses, not only are they sabotaging the relationship, but themselves. Holding on to bitter resentment will only trap him or her in a vicious cycle of negativity that will be very difficult to break free of.  And when people harbor negative feelings toward others, it is often a reflection of how they feel about themselves. Whether they're upset that they didn't get the promotion at work or despondent over their relationship woes, they project onto others the disappointment they feel with themselves for falling short of their goals.  Never let the way others trea...

How people treat other people is a direct reflection of how they feel about themselves . If they treat others with kindness and respect, chances are they respect and are kind and compassionate with themselves as well. If, however, they treat others terribly, deep down they're likely unhappy with themselves and, more generally, with the life they lead overall. Narcissists tend to fall under this category because even though they may project an air of self-confidence, they're really trying to overcompensate for self-doubt and low self-esteem. It's been said that misery loves company. If people are feeling miserable, they often look for ways to upset others so those negative vibes can rub off on them. Maybe they tell you that you look fat in that dress, they leave you hanging with no explanation after you both agreed to meet up for drinks, or they reel off a list of your past mistakes -- all to get under your skin. Sure, you might  simply catch someone at the wrong m...

I equate a lack of self-confidence with not trusting one's abilities. One of the best quotes I've ever heard in a movie was featured in the 2005 film "Coach Carter," starring Samuel L. Jackson: "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us." In case you haven't seen the movie, Samuel L. Jackson plays a high school basketball coach whose hired to reverse the team's dismal fortunes. When it turns out that most of the players are flunking their classes, Jackson's character imposes a lockout until the players demonstrate academic improvement. Against all odds, the players succeed, and the team goes on to win a championship. I'll be the first to admit that I don't trust my ability to do certain things. I've always been something of a bungling handyman, in part because my father, who's known to be great with ...

Though some of us fear it more than others, human beings, for the most part, have a natural aversion to change. But why? For starters, we all slip into comfort zones that are difficult to clamber out of. We become so accustomed to the same people, routines, and processes in our everyday lives that a big life change -- like moving to a new town,  getting a new job, or beginning a new relationship -- can seem utterly frightening. Even the best of us have a tendency to think that going through with the change can turn out disastrous. Countless questions run through our minds like "What if I regret it?" and "What if it doesn't work out?" As I've noted in other posts, I am very risk-averse myself. When contemplating making a change that would require getting out of my comfort zone, I often tell myself that the status quo isn't so bad and the grass on the other side isn't necessarily greener. The only problem is that making our goals a reality ...

Most of us don't warm up to change easily, whether it's starting a new job or moving to a new neighborhood. In fact, when change is imminent, many of us tend to get awfully nervous and think the worst, making such defeatist statements as: "I'm going to fail." "Something bad is going to happen." "This isn't going to work." While it's normal to feel a little apprehensive about the future -- that is, the unknown -- we should not get in the habit of always facing it with trepidation. After all, what lies ahead may actually turn out a lot better than we expect. In order to better take the future in stride, we must do two things: 1. Stay positive : Negativity not only makes us more anxious, it eats away at our self-confidence. Success starts with opening yourself to the possibility of things turning out favorably. You need to give it time -- human beings are surprisingly good at adapting to new, unfamiliar situations. As tem...

I came across the following quote on Facebook earlier today: "Life is like a camera. Just focus on what's important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don't work out, just take another shot." A better piece of advice you'd be hard-pressed to find, as far as living a happy life goes. People have a tendency to become deflated by the smallest things, not to mention by people who, frankly, shouldn't be given so much importance -- neighbors, coworkers, acquaintances, and the like. We focus too much on that which is insignificant. As I've stressed so many times before, people's opinions of you matter to a certain degree, but they shouldn't eclipse how you judge yourself . If what they say or think about you trumps your self-evaluations, then you are just handing over all your power to them in a silver platter. Also, don't get so bogged down over your mistakes . We all make them -- it's a simple part of l...

Today's quote focuses on adversity, which Merriam-Webster defines as "a state or instance of serious or continued difficulty or misfortune." "Sometimes adversity is what you need to face in order to become successful." - Zig Zaglar  Human beings have a natural inclination to avoid or minimize any kind of hardship in their lives. In reality, though, we all need a dash of adversity every now and then to propel us to achieve something. Here are some examples: Being driven to lose weight after being teased by fellow peers Starting one's own company after being laid off one or more times Getting an A+ on an exam after initially struggling in a course Supporting a child by oneself after his or her partner walks out Finding true love after striking out repeatedly on the dating front You can likely relate to at least one of the examples above. Sometimes we face challenges in life that seem almost insurmountable, thus resulting in depression, ...