How many people have you come across in your life who have been envious of something you possess or have accomplished? Maybe it's the new car you bought or the Hamilton tickets you managed to snag. Perhps it's the promotion you landed as a result of your hard work. Or perhaps they envy your fairytale-like marriage. While I've emphasized that material possessions don't bring us lasting happiness, you have every right to acquire and enjoy whatever you please. As long as you're not spending recklessly and hurting yourself or others in the process, what you buy with your hard-earned money is no one else's business. People should focus on themselves and quit worrying about what others are buying, whether it be cheap or expensive.  The problem is that human beings have this seemingly unshakeable tendency to compare themselves to other people.  Certain individuals can't live with the fact that others may have a better house, a prettier spouse,...

Relationships don't die a natural death. Their demise is brought on by selfishness, lies, neglect, and a lack of compassion and consideration toward one's partner.  In some relationships, only one partner is responsible for causing a rift, and in others, both partners are to blame. Unfortunately, some people expect their partner to do all the heavy lifting, leaving the other physically, mentally, and emotionally drained and effectively running the relationship into the ground.  If people don't want to do their fair share, why enter into a relationship at all? A relationship is a partnership between two individuals. Both of them invest in, maintain, and enhance the relationship so that each feels they're not just reaping benefits, but dispensing them to the other as well. In most cases, both partners put in comparable effort in the early stages of dating as they're getting to know one another.  It's when complacency begins to set in ...

True strength comes not from what you do, but from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't. Whether it's thinking that learning a new language is too difficult, that a better job is out of reach, or that leaving an abusive relationship is near impossible, we can overcome these mental roadblocks we set for ourselves by:  Believing in ourselves  Adopting a positive mindset  Working hard to reach our goal  Accepting that occasional setbacks are normal  Never giving up You can do anything you set your heart and mind to. It may not happen exactly when and how you want it to, but you must never lose hope if you wish to prevail.  And achieving success sometimes involves taking difficult steps, like reaching out to others for help, reworking our whole strategy if not starting all over from scratch, putting up with people who may try to get in our way, and sacrificing ample resources (whether mental, financial, or time-oriented).  ...

When people act like they're above you, should you respond in kind? Should you do to them what they're doing to you? Absolutely not, as that would be stooping to their level. Instead, the best way to respond to these haughty people is by being better today than the person you were yesterday . In other words, rather than pretending to be better than others, demonstrate to these very people that you are continually outdoing  yourself . That's sure to get them even more riled up. The way I see it, if someone is going around boasting of their toys or accomplishments -- to the point they're deliberately trying to throw it in your face -- it communicates one thing: You pose a threat to them. You give them competition, and they're out to best you. Perhaps there's even something you possess or have achieved that they're envious of. But don't give in. That's what they want -- an all-out competition to prove they're smarter or more accomplished...

Looking to achieve a goal? Inhale confidence. Exhale doubt.  Even if no one else believes in you (which is highly unlikely), you are your single biggest ally. If you don't believe in yourself, you won't realize your dreams -- plain and simple. Achieving goals take hard work, determination, and dogged persistence. If you want something badly enough and are willing to go the extra mile to get it, you've already won half the battle. You might cry, face sleepless nights, argue with friends and loved ones, and even have occasional bouts of depression, pushing you to the brink of quitting. But don't give up!  Things will get better. Hang in there. When everything seems doomed to fail, stop for a moment. Take a deep breath. Ask yourself whether retooling your strategy -- making a few tweaks here and there -- might get you back on the right path. If achieving a goal were easy, we'd have countless superstar athletes, actors, rock stars, and rocket scientis...

Today's quote of the day comes from none other than Alexander Hamilton (1757-1804): "People sometimes attribute my success to my genius; all the genius I know anything about is hard work."  You may have heard of Hamilton , the smash Broadway musical his rags to riches story inspired. Or, you might know him as the guy on the $10 bill. Hamilton gave new meaning to the word "workhorse." As the first U.S. secretary of the treasury, he was essentially the architect of the American financial system. He wrote 51 of the 85 essays that comprise  The Federalist Papers . He pushed for the establishment of the first national bank. He wrote some 28 essays which were instrumental in securing the ratification of the Jay Treaty with Great Britain. He established the U.S. Coast Card and founded The New York Post, the oldest continuously published daily newspaper in the U.S. And, to boot, he married into one of the wealthiest families in New York City, even though he neve...

My wife and I have been together for 12-and-a-half years, of which over three have been as a married couple. I often reflect on the beginning of the relationship, which was surely a magical time. We were both juniors in college with ample butterflies in our stomachs. Our relationship came as something of a surprise, as we had met in the 6th grade and didn't see or speak to one another again until the year we hooked up -- which, by the way, came almost a decade later after reconnecting on MySpace! Now that we've been married and living together for several years, it's easy to see how different things are from the way they were when we got together. Aside from the obvious (e.g., you're not as embarrassed to fart in front of one another), you essentially become a team once you're married -- one that has far more important things to worry about than simply choosing what movie to watch or restaurant to dine at. From bills to helping the kids with homework, marri...

So said a graphic that I happened upon today on Facebook. It caught my attention because I already do just that: Rather than boasting of my plans and accomplishments to others -- whether on Facebook or elsewhere -- I let my work do the talking for me. For starters, I've never been one to disclose every morsel of information about my life, much less brag about my achievements. Sometimes people get so caught up telling others about what they've accomplished -- say, losing 10 pounds while dieting -- that they forget they're far from done. Once they get the praise and validation they're after, they become complacent and are unable to regain their momentum. It's not to say that everyone who does this is a show-off. As human beings, we seek positive reinforcement in virtually everything we do. But, like everything else, it can be taken a step too far. People don't have to know everything about us. We can have a goal in mind without having to tell the wor...

"Men give me credit for some genius. All the genius I have is this. When I have a subject in mind, I study it profoundly. Day and night it is before me. My mind becomes pervaded with it... the effort which I have made is what people are pleased to call the fruit of genius. It is the fruit of labor and thought."  Can you guess the source of this quote? These words come from Alexander Hamilton (1757-1804), the first treasury secretary of the U.S. under George Washington and the architect of the nation's financial system. Hamilton, who sang the praises of a strong central government, was a brilliant theorist and prodigious writer. He, along with James Madison and John Jay, wrote The Federalist Papers, which pushed for ratification of the U.S. Constitution. He championed the establishment of the First Bank of the United States and led the Federalist Party, the first political party to rise to power in the United States. It's no surprise that Hamilton's story b...

Whether you're going through a tough time because you're short on cash, unable to find love, or having marital problems, I have a message for you: Things will eventually work out. That may strike you as impossible at this juncture, but over time, things will fall in place. It may not happen on your timetable, but it will occur nonetheless. This is only a passing storm, a temporary blip, a small fork in the road. With hard work, gumption, an irrepressible drive, and support from friends (including me and others on this blog), you'll land back on your feet before you know it. Don't underestimate your will and capacity to overcome even the most daunting obstacles. You can achieve anything you set your heart and mind to. As someone anonymous once put it, "A river cuts through a rock, not because of its power, but its persistence." Pray, put in a vigorous workout at the gym, treat yourself a hearty meal -- do whatever it takes to relax and blow off so...

Don't worry about what may go wrong . Instead, get excited over what could go right ! This is sound advice even for me. I tend be a little paranoid and cynical at times, but I've resolved to be more optimistic this year. There comes a point where we need to accept one thing: There are things in life that we have no control over. Things will not always go our way, no matter how hard we try to shape the outcome. Life is like a rollercoaster -- it has its ups and downs, but we might as well make the most of the ride! There's a difference between being cautious and being so worried about what may go wrong that you refuse to take any chances in life. Life is short. If we don't take risks every once in a while, we'll never know what it's like to grow and achieve a milestone. The most rewarding things we experience in life -- the ones we look back on most fondly -- tend to be those that involve a lot of hard work and frustration. Ultimately, nothing taste...

The word of the day is one most people have seldom heard or used:  sycophant . According to dictionary.com, a sycophant is a person who acts obsequiously toward someone important in order to gain advantage. Here's yet another definition I came across on the internet: a self-seeking, servile flatterer; fawning parasite. In other words, it's someone who kisses up to other people in order to get ahead. How many sycophants have most of us come across in the workplace? Plenty! There's a myriad of synonyms for the word sycophant, including suck-up, yes-man, lackey, toady, lick-spittle, doormat, and brown-noser. There's no question that sycophants have no respect for themselves; they're willing to be putty in someone else's hands so long as they get what they want in the end. Why not try to progress in life by virtue of hard work and merit? I don't know about you, but I refuse to stoop that low. Had you ever come across the word sycophant before readi...

It's a new day -- one full of fresh possibilities.  Let all your reasons for not achieving a goal yesterday be quashed as of this moment. Apply for that certification exam to enhance your qualifications. Commence your job hunt as the first step toward leaving the dead-end position you're in now. Start researching what it takes to get your fledgling business off the ground. Take an imaginary sledgehammer and smash the "t" in "can't" into oblivion. You can do anything you set your heart or mind to. The only one holding you back from reaching for the sky is yourself. Do away with any grudges you may hold towards friends or loved ones. If you find that the relationship is beyond repair, absolve yourself of all negativity by cutting ties and moving on once and for all. And resist the urge to compare yourself to others. Their lives are their own problem. Stay focused on you . We all have a tendency to put things we want to do off because, well, life ...

There are certain qualities we value in people, so much so that they inspire us to be more like these individuals. Here are the attributes that I most revere in people I truly respect and admire: Intelligence : People who can not only debate me on a substantive topic, but teach me something new along the way. They're intellectually curious, articulate, and well-read.  Hard work : I respect someone who's willing to give it their all in order to achieve a goal. Perseverance:  They get knocked down, but they get up again. They don't allow challenges or problems, however big or small, to derail their dreams. Passion:  They eat, drink, and sleep music, writing, business, cooking, or whatever it is they love. They're constantly trying to learn more, whether by reading books, watching YouTube videos, or asking others.  Unyielding : No matter how many times their friends or relatives might advise them to invest their energies in something that will be...

It can be so tempting to give up on our goals and dreams. We become frustrated when we're slow to make progress. Well-meaning friends and family try to pull us in a different direction. We hit forks in the road that paralyze us into a state of inaction. We lose complete hope. Setting goals starts with the realization that you will face various challenges -- that's a given. Second, and this goes without saying, having a defeatist attitude -- whether right out of the gate or when you're closer to achieving said goal -- will make it all but impossible to attain success. A defeatist attitude yields defeatist results. If you were to ask people what the most essential factor in achieving one's goals is, what do you think they'd say? While hard work and passion play an important role, even more pivotal is perseverance.  You can have all the drive in the world, but if you fall apart at the first sign of a challenge, you will not succeed. Don't give up!  Don...

Don't let your or others' negativity get in the way of your happiness. If you're feeling down about anything -- no matter what it is -- tomorrow is a new day. While things might seem a little bleak now, your luck can change at a moment's notice. That's why we must never lose hope or faith. The more positive you are, the more likely you are to induce favorable events. You bump into the right person at the right time. Your resume gets into the hands of someone you know. Your hard work is finally noticed and you score that elusive promotion. But great things will only come your way if you believe deep down that they're possible. And, of course, it's incumbent on you to take the steps necessary so that those things can become a reality. You won't meet the right person by staying holed up in your apartment all the time. You won't get the promotion unless you promote your accomplishments. Never should we expect things to simply fall in our lap. Thu...

Going through a funk right now in your life? Don't fret -- we've all been there. The beauty of it all is that we can always start anew the next day. Each day is a clean slate -- it gives us the opportunity to cancel out whatever hardship we confronted the day before and work toward reversing our fortunes. With a positive mindset, it can happen. Tomorrow offers limitless possibilities. I remember sinking into a deep depression during the throes of the Great Recession in 2008. News of widespread layoffs dominated the headlines, and I found myself hard-pressed to even find good jobs to apply for.  But I never gave up. Rather, I constantly reminded myself that tomorrow could be better. The promise of a better tomorrow was my glimmer of hope -- my light at the end of a seemingly endless tunnel. And indeed, after much hard work and persistence, I wound up getting a job. Each day offers a fresh opportunity to rewrite your life's story. Just because things aren't...

I'll be the first one to admit that sometimes I have a tendency to dwell on the negative. I harp on what could go wrong instead of what could go right. It's this kind of mindset that often leads to failure and disappointment. But why should we be pessimistic at all? In the grand scheme of things, it does us little good. In fact, negativity is known to induce depression, lack of self esteem, and other negative outcomes. The best thing you can do is harness that negative energy and turn it into something positive. Go to the gym and enjoy a vigorous workout. Blast the music loudly. Look at pictures of baby animals. Do whatever brings a smile to your face, all while telling yourself "I can do it. I will get through this. I will prevail." Teddy Roosevelt, the 26th president of the United States, once quipped, "Believe you can and you're halfway there." I think negativity begins to set in once we feel we're no longer in control of our lives. But it d...

Life is really what you make of it. You get out of life what you put in -- plain and simple. If you want to accomplish a goal, only you can propel yourself forward to make it happen. Sure, certain people might lend a helping hand along the way, but they can only do so much. You are the master of your destiny. No one says the path ahead is ever an easy one. In fact, overcoming onerous stumbling blocks is part and parcel of the journey. Whether you're looking to find a job that utilizes your God-given talents or a partner with whom you have great chemistry, your object of desire won't merely fall on your lap. It takes planning, hard work, sacrifice, and, sometimes, a little luck, to get what you want in life. We should remain receptive to opportunities that may come our way, yes, but that doesn't mean we should refrain from seeking them out. Thomas Jefferson once said, "I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have....

Most of us are appreciative of the things and people in our lives. Still, there is always something missing that we wish we could have. And that isn't necessarily a bad thing. Wouldn't life become a bit dull if everything we could possibly want was in our possession? Here are a few examples of things we might yearn for: More money Better health A college degree Traveling around the world Children, or more of them A better job A partner A better house Right now, the thing I want most in my life is to earn a master's degree. I've always loved to learn, which I do even in my spare time. I find it unsettling that some of the people I know don't share my deep passion for knowledge, and yet they have that diploma hanging on their wall. Something just doesn't seem right about that.  That's why I'm mulling whether to go back to my alma mater and get that ever-elusive degree. Up until now, my excuse for not going had been that they didn't...