Don't complain of being single if you're...

Don't complain of being single if you're super picky, which is the boat one of my friends perpetually finds himself in.

He's gregarious, polite, and an all around good guy. However, when it comes to women, he seeks near-perfection: a slim, highly attractive woman -- we're talking Victoria's Secret-esque -- who doesn't smoke, drink, or party. Oh, yeah, and she should attend church regularly.

Saying my friend has high standards is an understatement. He refuses to even consider women who are a couple of pounds overweight.

While some may say his refusal to budge on his criteria is admirable in that he sticks to his guns, others might lambaste him for his ostensible shallowness.

What provides ammunition to the latter group's argument, however, is the fact he often complains of being single.

Well, little does he realize that his problem is of his own making. If you're going to disqualify the vast majority of the dating pool on account of what you find to be unacceptable looks, you are going to have a harder time finding dates. It's only common sense -- and simple math.

As a result, he comes along on many of my outings with my wife, cementing his status as the third wheel.

Sometimes I feel my friend wants a very attractive girlfriend he can show off to the world, much like he does his car.

What I've reminded him of countless times is that beauty is only skin deep. It fades as we age and should be secondary to a person's inner qualities, from honesty and compassion to intelligence and their sense of humor.

I've asked him the following: What good is having a beautiful partner if their inside is dark and rotten? That's no recipe for a long-term, fulfilling relationship.

He concedes that a great personality is important to him, but refuses to abandon his neverending quest for finding a "10."

I only wish him the best in finding a good woman, but I think my friend -- like many other guys out there -- is being too picky. He has set his expectations so high that no woman seems to meet his stringent criteria.

I hope that it won't take a train wreck of a relationship with a physically attractive yet vain, heartless woman for him to realize there's more to life than looks.

Sure, there has to be a physical spark between both people, but what really matters over the long haul is how the person treats you.

Is she communicative?
Does she trust you?
Does she treat you with respect?
Does she support you in your goals?
Does she respect your friends and family?
Does she see a future for the two of you?

These are the kinds of things that call for high standards -- not whether she has the ideal face or perfect body. It especially bothers me when the people who are most insistent on great looks aren't anything to write home about in that department themselves. Hypocrisy, anyone?

No one is perfect. Just like the products we buy, people come with their flaws, whether physical or personality-wise. I can only hope my friend realizes this sooner than later and tweaks his requirements at least a tad. He certainly isn't getting any younger.

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No response from someone IS a response

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An important note to women about men and attraction

I was raised by my mom, grandma, and two older sisters. Growing up, never did I ever take any interest in the girls at school who tended toward exposing more skin. I always treated them as I would my female family members -- with the utmost courtesy and respect. And anytime I suspected that a male friend or acquaintance of mine adopted a hump-and-dump attitude toward women, I nixed them from my life. I held men who treated women as objects in very low regard, and still do to this day. If women feel empowered to show off their bodies because they love and work hard on their physique, more power to them. In other words, if they're doing it to please THEMSELVES and no one else, good for them. However, those who do it specifically to curry men's favor are making a big mistake. It sends the wrong signals and actually makes it less likely that a man will want to stick around for a committed relationship (if that's what you want as anyway). Granted, if you're not lookin...

How To Understand People

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