Skip to main content

Remember this when things don't go your way...

Many people feel that if they're unsuccessful at something, they've failed -- not just themselves, but others as well. They take a defeatist attitude, convincing themselves that they're losers.

They second-guess their decisions. 

They beat themselves up over not trying hard enough. 

They tell themselves that if only they had said this or done that, they might have prevailed. 

I'm here to tell you this: 

You don't lose. You either win, or you learn.

For example, maybe you didn't get the job, but you realize you can polish your resume a bit and work on improving your interviewing skills.

Perhaps you made a couple of uncouth remarks on your blind date that are likely to blame for the fact you never heard from the person again. This shows you that thinking before you speak might be something to shoot for. 

Or, maybe you failed an exam you assumed you could pass by cramming for a few hours the night before, demonstrating how important it is to be prepared on test day.

As you can see, we should aim to reframe what we call "failures" as learning experiences. As long as you learn from your mistakes so that history doesn't repeat itself, guess what? You're helping to facilitate growth. You're becoming a better person than you used to be.

It's important we not let our egos get in the way of our progress. Sometimes it can be difficult for us to acknowledge our mistakes and accept that we need to change certain things about ourselves in order to achieve more favorable outcomes -- whether in business, love, or life in general.

You're not a loser. You're human -- as we all are. We would never grow if we were all infallible. Only by falling do we learn how to pick ourselves up and become better people. 

Above all, remain positive! Practice self-compassion. Learn to forgive and never stop believing in yourself. Things may not have gone exactly as planned, but as long as you work hard, remain patient, and stick to your goals, you can make your dreams a reality. 

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Women vs. Men: Who likes to backstab more?

Whether it's on TV or in the workplace, the general consensus seems to be that women gossip, backstab, and stir up more conflict than men do. But, as with every other topic, I thought it only fair to put this so-called stereotype under the microscope. If you watch reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice, you'll notice it's the women who spend far more time bickering. While the men do at times become embroiled in tit for tat, it's the women who are portrayed as meaner and more hostile. In the workplace, I have noticed that women seem to gossip far more than their male counterparts. I haven't really seen any cases where a person blatantly backstabs the other, but I have caught both men and women in little white lies. If it is true that women are generally more into backstabbing and gossiping than men, why is this the case? I believe that it isn't fair to make a blanket statement like "all women play these games while all men keep to themselves and pre...