Be careful when your date pushes you to do this

Be leery of someone you're dating who tries to cajole you into moving much faster than you're comfortable with.

If someone is worth your while, they would never pressure you into doing anything -- whether it's sleeping going on a trip to a faraway island by yourselves, or tying the knot -- before you feel you're ready for that major step.

If they can't respect your wishes, too bad! They're more than welcome to move on and find someone who similarly desires to move at blazing speed.

That's not you. No, you refuse to betray your values and principles, whether that means waiting until marriage to be intimate or not wanting to give into the other person's desire to move to another state together after dating for a mere two months.

You'd be right to question why he or she seems intent on moving at breakneck speed.

Does he just want to use you?

Is she looking to use you for your money until she gets back on her feet?

Is he on the rebound, aiming to use you to get over the ex and then moving on?

Or, does he/she have something else up their sleeve?

I understand that some people wish to move a little faster than others.

That's why expectations should be laid on the table from the get-go in order to avoid confusion and miscommunication later on.

If you're sure you don't want to move in together until you've been in the relationship at least 3 years, don't wish to have kids until you're 35, or do not desire to combine bank accounts, make this clear early on.

There's nothing wrong with having certain standards, goals, and expectations you expect a significant offer to honor and share.

But pressuring someone to do something they don't want to do is tantamount to assault/harassment, which should never be tolerated.

And don't buy their repeated assurances that they'll slow down eventually if in actuality they seem more persistent as time goes on.

If that individual can't meet you halfway at least, you're better off without them anyway.

You have to ask yourself whether you're truly willing to settle for someone who gives such scant consideration to your wants and needs. Indeed, their selfishness will do little more than rip the relationship apart gradually.

Don't feel bad about holding out for someone who wants to proceed at a speed you're comfortable with. It beats jumping into a relationship and making decisions (e.g., marriage) that you won't be able to undo with the snap of a finger.

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March 23, 2020 at 10:52 PM

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