Do you live most in the past, present, or future?

Obviously, we live in all of these at different moments. Whether we're past-, present, or future-oriented depends largely on how we're feeling at a given point in time.

For example, when something good happens, we tend to become very focused on the present and on the fruits that the favorable circumstance will bear in the future.

If we're feeling a little blue about our current prospects, we may start thinking back to a time when things were going more smoothly in our lives. The more optimistic among us, however, might look forward to brighter days ahead.

Many people say harping on the past isn't healthy, and I agree -- a line has to be drawn somewhere. But only by considering history -- our prior successes and failures, our earlier ups and downs -- can we can guide our behavior toward the ends we seek in the present and future.

In other words, you need to examine the past in order to build on your triumphs and prevent making the same mistake twice (or more times). And let's face it: relishing the past isn't all bad. How else can we appreciate the fondest memories we hold of important life events, from our high school graduation and first kiss to watching our kids take their first steps.

Some people live by adages like "live for today" and "seize the day." While it certainly has merit -- we should try to live our lives to the fullest -- it shouldn't prompt people to make reckless decisions, like driving drunk or getting into massive debt.

I think a healthy, well-adjusted life includes all three of these:

Turning to the past for guidance on the best course of action to take now in the future, not to mention summoning up fond memories
Being conscious of the decisions we make in the present, which have important implications for our future
Planning for and being optimistic about what lies ahead

Comments

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it? After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

An important note to women about men and attraction

I was raised by my mom, grandma, and two older sisters. Growing up, never did I ever take any interest in the girls at school who tended toward exposing more skin. I always treated them as I would my female family members -- with the utmost courtesy and respect. And anytime I suspected that a male friend or acquaintance of mine adopted a hump-and-dump attitude toward women, I nixed them from my life. I held men who treated women as objects in very low regard, and still do to this day. If women feel empowered to show off their bodies because they love and work hard on their physique, more power to them. In other words, if they're doing it to please THEMSELVES and no one else, good for them. However, those who do it specifically to curry men's favor are making a big mistake. It sends the wrong signals and actually makes it less likely that a man will want to stick around for a committed relationship (if that's what you want as anyway). Granted, if you're not lookin...

How To Understand People

Search This Blog