In the past few years, how many times would you say you've been hurt by someone you care deeply about? Too many to count, right?
Maybe you were cheated on, lied to, or ignored outright. Perhaps the incident came about at work, school, or home.
As unsettling as the pain can be, you must remind yourself that such feelings won't linger forever. However, you have to do your part to get the wheels rolling.
What I've observed that holds so many people back from conquering the hurt is that they fail to acknowledge it in the first place. And men are especially prone to this form of denial.
Indeed, it's tempting for us to sweep the feelings under the rug as if nothing happened, or to carry on believing they'll fade away on their own.
On the contrary, this wrong-headed approach causes those feelings to fester. Denial provides the very fuel for intensification, like warm water powering a hurricane ever more. This, in turn, produces doubt and blame, which can snowball into anxiety and depression.
It goes without saying that we need to face our pain head-on in order to quell it. Once we acknowledge those feelings, we can set about addressing them -- whether through therapy, a conversation with a close friend, or by turning to the very source of the pain -- the individual who hurt you -- and speaking your mind (albeit tactfully). Sometimes the best salve is getting it all off our chest.
Now, just because someone hurt you doesn't mean you're entirely blameless in the matter. Perhaps you did something to trigger their wrath and they wound up taking it too far. But conceding that maybe there are things you need to work on can also aid you on the road to emotional recovery.
Keeping one's feelings buried -- whether it's rage, shame, guilt, jealousy, or sadness -- is a surefire recipe for prolonged discontent. Merely acknowledging those emotions are a necessary first step not only toward suppressing the demons afflicting you but learning and growing from the experience.
Without pain and disappointment, there's no way to attain wisdom. So the next time you find yourself on such an emotional rollercoaster, try to frame the experience more positively: You're bound to come out of that rollercoaster ride a stronger, more resilient person.
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