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Sometimes you need to give up on people

Sometimes you need to give up on people -- not because you don't care, but because they don't.

Let's say you and your friend have drifted from each other over time. You assume (or hope) he or she has noticed it as well and you resolve to get things running smoothly again.

If, after some time, you've done all you can to jolt some life into the relationship -- whether by inviting the person to dinner, texting them to wish their kid a Happy Birthday, or dropping by to help clean out their garage -- and they still show no interest, it could be because of the following:

1. They're expecting you to do all the heavy lifting in the relationship.

2. They don't value you like you do them.

3. They're going through something they may not wish to talk about.

The only one of the three that is a valid excuse is #3, though they should at least tell you that much and not leave you hanging.

We should all respect others' need for space, but unless we're aware they need it, we may assume that they're giving us the cold shoulder. It goes without saying that communication is key.

The first two, however, are inexcusable.

When one person leans on the other for everything, it's a safe bet the latter is going to feel as though his or her loyalty is being abused and attention is being squandered.

A relationship will surely fail if:

  • It is not built on compromise
  • Both people fail to make a comparable investment of their time and energy
  • They don't trust one another 
  • They don't communicate openly with each other
If someone just isn't "feeling" the relationship anymore and wants out, they should be honest about it. That way, the other individual can redirect their energies to people who truly value them. 

When a relationship just isn't working out anymore, we shouldn't feign interest just to spare the other person's feelings. If anything, a better way of protecting their feelings is by pulling the plug once and for all. The quicker it ends, the quicker they can move on. 

And once the relationship is over, neither partner should have regrets. There's no reason to lament anything that made you smile at one point, or that you learned a valuable lesson from.

People change, and relationships can't stay the same forever. 

Keep your head up. Life moves on. Freeing up more time to spend with those who prize you is s great thing!

Comments

Unknown said…
IS 'a' Grazg Thing
Otherwiese good article
How about leaving because some make you Sick, Not because they are Bad People Just the Constellation Makes you Sick
nikkolayebba said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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