Skip to main content

How important is sex in a marriage or relationship?

This answer will differ depending on who you ask.

People have varying sex drives that are affected by everything from one's energy and stress levels to other responsibilities in our lives, including work, chores, and children.

We've all heard stories where one person in the relationship wants sex much more frequently than the other, causing an imbalance that eventually incites feelings of resentment in the former.

How often a couple has sex depends largely on where it is put on their priority list. I think those who make a concerted effort to have sex, say, once or twice a week, can carve out a few minutes weekly to do so. But sometimes life gets in the way of even the most carefully laid-out plans, and couples have no choice but to leave it for another day.

I think sex isn't the most important facet of a marriage or relationship. After all, as we get older, our relationship or marriage becomes less about passionate sex and more about companionship.

Still, sex matters. It is the most intimate act we can engage in with our partner. If we're not having sex at least occasionally, it can easily start to feel more like a platonic friendship.

That's why it's essential that you and your partner keep an open dialogue on how each of you feels about your sex life. If one person is dissatisfied, whether due to the infrequency of intercourse or a lack of experimentation, he or she should address such feelings in a tactful way. That way, you can work together at getting to the root of the problem. Aside from trust, nothing is more integral to a relationship or marriage than keeping the lines of communication open.

But lashing out at your partner will actually work against you. Nothing kills a person's sex drive faster than being reprimanded for not satisfying his or her partner's needs in the bedroom.

Like everything else in life, a healthy sex life depends on managing one's priorities. Sex should never be the crux of a relationship or marriage -- nor should it be put on the back burner.

To view earlier posts, click here: How to Understand People




Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

The 1 good thing cheaters do for us

Nothing good could come of a relationship marred by infidelity, right? The heartache, the shock, the feeling of one's trust being violated.  In the short-term, being cheated on can turn one's world upside down. But eventually, there may be a light awaiting the cheated at the end of the tunnel.  If you really think about it, cheaters end up doing us a huge favor.  In their selfishness and disloyalty, they end up showing us that we deserve better.  If you're so unfortunate as to be a victim of such acts of betrayal, you can only hope the cheater is considerate enough to own up to their missteps.  But we all know full well that, in many cases, the cheater is either caught in the act or leaves behind a trail of hints that ultimately culminates in their undoing. The more classy thing to do is to discuss their feelings openly with their partner before straying.  If all talks lead to an impasse or a further escalation of tensions, both parties should take it as a ...