Skip to main content

Relationship tip: Don't be a hypocrite

Some people are simply the epitome of hypocrisy. They don't tolerate certain behaviors from their partner -- cheating, wasteful spending, getting drunk -- and yet they carry out those very behaviors themselves in disguise.

It's because of this double standard that so many relationships go down the drain. People who have certain expectations of their partner that they themselves can't live up to -- those who don't practice what they preach -- shouldn't commit to anyone in the first place. It demonstrates selfishness, a lack of maturity, and the inability to consider their partner's feelings.

The golden rule of relationships is to treat your partner the way you want to be treated. If you don't want your partner to cheat on you, remain faithful. If you don't want your partner running up credit card debt, spend responsibly. If you don't want your partner making a fool of herself after having one too many drinks, drink in moderation yourself.

The rules should apply to your partner just as stringently as they do to you. When one person thinks they can get away with bending those rules, they go down a rabbit hole that will spell trouble -- if not the end -- for the relationship.

Both partners should make the conscious effort to avoid situations that may cause problems later on -- from flirting with co-workers and going on shopping binges to acquiescing to their beer-swilling friends' demands to drink without restraint.

As long as both individuals are on an equal playing field, the relationship can prosper. If you want the relationship to last, you must be willing to consider your partner's feelings before your own. You should always be asking yourself what consequences your actions can have on the relationship. And if your partner betrays your trust while you've remained on the up and up, you have every right to end the relationship and find someone else who shares your high standards of integrity. No one in a relationship is above the other person.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Do you have Isolophilia? Find out...

You're probably asking yourself, "What in the world does Isolophilia mean?" It sounds like it would be something negative, doesn't it?  After all, words that end in "philia" (e.g., pedophilia) tend to involve things we want nothing to do with. But Isolophilia isn't something all people deplore. In fact, introverts like me welcome it. Put simply, Isolophilia is defined as having a strong affinity for solitude. It describes a person who relishes being alone. While extroverts can only take so much solitude, we introverts find that it rejuvenates us. In order to recharge our batteries, we need to retreat to a quiet environment where we we're left alone to rest and/or gather our thoughts. Extroverts, on the other hand, become bored and drained when they're alone for a lengthy period of time. Social interaction is the fuel that drives them. So while an extrovert would probably do anything to avoid feelings of Isolophilia in most cases, an...

No response from someone IS a response

Make no mistake about it: When you don't get a response from someone -- whether they fail to answer your texts or return your phone calls -- it is  still a response, and a powerful one at that. When a person fails to respond, it's a direct reflection of their interest -- or lack thereof -- in the relationship. Few things are more aggravating than having to hound a partner, friend, or relative for some sort of reply after we've reached out to them. Yes, we get busy from time to time, but that doesn't give anyone the right to leave the other person hanging. A terse text with something like "Been busy, will reach out soon" doesn't say much, but at least it shows some effort to bring the other person up to speed on why they've fallen off the radar. Failing to provide a response for weeks -- if not months -- communicates that you are just not a priority, and that you'll have to wait your turn to get this individual's attention. This is n...

Women vs. Men: Who likes to backstab more?

Whether it's on TV or in the workplace, the general consensus seems to be that women gossip, backstab, and stir up more conflict than men do. But, as with every other topic, I thought it only fair to put this so-called stereotype under the microscope. If you watch reality shows like Celebrity Apprentice, you'll notice it's the women who spend far more time bickering. While the men do at times become embroiled in tit for tat, it's the women who are portrayed as meaner and more hostile. In the workplace, I have noticed that women seem to gossip far more than their male counterparts. I haven't really seen any cases where a person blatantly backstabs the other, but I have caught both men and women in little white lies. If it is true that women are generally more into backstabbing and gossiping than men, why is this the case? I believe that it isn't fair to make a blanket statement like "all women play these games while all men keep to themselves and pre...